My own FanFic with my own characters

Discussion in 'Fan Fictions are Written' started by SophieChan, Oct 22, 2011.

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  1. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    So if you don't already know, I make CaS with stories that interrelate with canon characters. So I decided to put their stories on paper and I'll be writing about 2-4 chapters per month. I am planning on writing it directly in this thread and it will be anywhere between 15-30 chapters total. I'll also be leaving an excerpt of chapter 1 and my pics of the main characters I've made in CaS by tomorrow night.
    Leshain and Kevin like this.
  2. CrazyYoshimitsu

    CrazyYoshimitsu [10] Knight

    can't wait.
    SophieChan likes this.
  3. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    Here is the excerpt of Chapter 1. Just so you know, all chapters are being labeled with the Point of View character's name, in the fashion of fantasy writer George R.R. Martin. This is the beginning of the entire story. It is set between SCIV and SCV. Enjoy!!
    EDIT: Officially finished chapter! Here is chapter 1. Its split between the two main point of view characters.

    Chapter 1:
    Andromeda​
    Andromeda reached into her pocket retrieving the piece of strange metal her brother Rothion gave to her the day he died. It was a little thing, no more than an inch or two around, but Andromeda carried it at all times since her brother and former lover's death. Then her mind trailed to Sophitia and her children, Pyrrha and Patroklos. She had not seen Sophitia since she last fought her nearly a year ago. Come to think of it, Cassandra looked distraught in the market that morning as well.

    "Why am I thinking about that woman. She means nothing to me after she toke Rothion from me then let him die!"

    She had always been a spiteful woman but never so much as now. Andromeda took a deep breath and fell back into her chair with a sob, and did not wake til nearly dusk. When Andromeda was woken, it was by her still grieving father. He had an aloof look on his face. He opened his mouth but his usually soothing voice did not come from it. A high pitched shrieking noise escaped his lips and then he chanted rythmically "You shall be the light, You shall be the dark, You shall be the slayer of evils, You shall be her!"

    Andromeda stared into her father's eyes. She saw her own reflection but in the reflection she saw herself with eyes the color of ice and her skin as pale as could be. Then the image flashed before her eyes and all she saw was a woman in azure armor, holding a short sword emblazoned with a skull. The woman's red eyes with a fleck of seafoam green bored into her. Andromeda wanted to scream but her heart was in her throat. The woman began to speak with several echoes in different voices repeating after it, "Andromeda Arygyros, I have seen your soul, and it is mine." Andromeda covered her ears and closed her eyes but the image was burned into her eyelids and the sound of the accursed woman's voice still ringing in her head. Andromeda awoke in a cold sweat realizing it was all a dream. She looked out the large bay window and watched the city. It was as still as she had ever seen it. Andromeda thought about her horrible nightmare and what had happened in it. The words of her possessed father and that Greek woman with the deep red eyes continued to pop into her head. She snuck down stairs and got her old sword and shield from the armory. Katzbalger was still in a good enough condition but she grabbed a whet stone to sharpen it later. Andromeda grabbed provisions for a month and garbed herself in traveling clothes. Her journey had begun again.

    ~<^>~​

    Scarlett​
    A short pale girl with strange eyes came before her with a basket in her hands, cloth covering the contents.​

    "Who may I ask is disturbing me? You look like a useless squab, but then again, most of my little birds look similar do they not Elza? Leave me, Elza and forget the question it was rhetorical...Now who might this one be, little one?" Scarlett glared into the girls eyes trying to figure out what such a young girl was doing here, especially in her most secret of hideouts.​
    "You are the Woman of Black and Red, and I wish to show you the damage your little birds have done!" Scarlett reacted before the scrawny assassin sent by her former paramour Raphael could even take the crossbow hidden in her basket out from the cloth. She grasped her favorite treasure Stiletto and hit the girl with the hilt but this one was not simply a child. The girl got up and removed her cloak to reveal a short Lolita dress and the strangest red pigtails Scarlett had ever seen.​

    "Oh my, is this gallant Raphael's idea of an assassin? His little pet Amy is nothing. I was fighting English Rapier 200 years before you were born child. Hmm, what to do with you..." Scarlett began to think what experiments she could try on this strange little girl. "I have come only to prove myself, I wish to join you and now I can but you must convince Raphael, he sent me to offer you an agreement. He would add any of his willing servants to the Brotherhood of Blood if you marry him and give him his first trueborn child. He instructed me that an assassination attempt would convince you, as you seem to find them amusing and flattering. Now please my lady help me." Amy begged her looking sad.​

    "Now, that is an offer I may not be able to refuse as our numbers dwindle and I could make something out of such a little thing like you." Scarlett said while imagining being in Raphael's arms once again. "Fine, I will go with you to Rouen but when you join our ranks you will no longer be Amy, you will not ever be a Sorel again. You shall be reborn." She won't keep that red hair after the ritual, like my flowing black curls for a plait of red, Scarlett thought.​

    "I accept any type of intiation required. Will we return to Rouen on the morrow?"​

    "Yes, but we will be taking an extra stop along the way." Scarlett did not plan on returning to Rouen until she found the source of the vision given to her earlier that night and Scarlett was sure she knew who had sent this message to her and who else she would find there.​
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  4. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    Chapter 2​

    Lysa​
    Lysa leaned back against a heavy rock watching the sunset. She then closed her eyes and listened to her environment. There was a shallow brook nearby and a bird was roosting somewhere near her. Lysa took her hair out of the tight bun she had put it in that morning and ran her fingers through it. Lysa had seen an atrocity that day, something that did not belong in the world. That woman's seafoam-flecked eyes still flashed in and out of her mind's eye. Lysa made herself think of other things until she heard something from behind her. Lysa, drawing her sword, shouted "Who goes there? If you do not reveal thine self I shall cut you down where you stand." A haggered creature came out of the bushes in a dark black cloak, that only allowed the woman's eyes visibility. Lysa looked into the woman's hood to see what this mystery woman looked like. All she saw were two shallow red eyes filled with melancholy and anger, flecked with seafoam green.​

    Lysa's hands trembled with fear. Her chest rose and fell more quickly and she put her hands to her temples. Her head seared with pain. When she turned her head to look at her sword hand, all she could see was fire. Lysa screamed at the top of her lungs as she felt her sword and shield mutate and change dramatically, while the entity in the black cloak watched on. Lysa shut her eyes and kept them closed for a long time. Suddenly, the pain stopped and Lysa found herself in different clothing, with a different hairstyle and eyes like that woman's in her reflection.​

    ~<^>~​

    Andromeda​
    "I only have a few copper pieces, please I must get onto this ship!" Andromeda yelled at the lean Italian soldiers. They simply looked at her and laughed. Andromeda was not uncomely, far from it truly, but men treated her like she was a disgusting sow. "Listen woman, this is a very powerful Roman politcian's trading galley, we can't let any common dockside whore on this ship. Do you think we want to get our employer in trouble with his lady wife?" one of the sailors spat out in juvenile Greek. When Andromeda heard that, it was the last straw. Andromeda pulled her sword from her bag and tried to point it at the one who called her a whore. But he was too quick and grabbed her wrist and pulled it behind her back. "You wanted to be on this voyage didn't you? Well an idea came to me about how we can sneak you on..." The man covered Andromeda's mouth with his free hand and took her bag. He put her and the bag in a box and nonchalantly pushed the box into the crew cabin. "If you don't open this damned box I will cut your manhood from you and feed it to the goats!" The Italian sailor opened the box and smiled. He hit her several times across the face until she was good and quiet.​

    When Andromeda finally stopped crying she heard men enter the cabin. "See the score Giuliano smuggled for us?" she heard one of them say. "Yeah, hopefully shes better than the last whore he found." Andromeda was shaking in fear as she heard shouting. Then it was silent but for the sailor called Giuliano's voice "The girl is mine to have, leave her be, or I'll need to tell the captain won't I?" Then, Andromeda felt the box being pushed again, and into another room. The lid was removed and she found Giuliano undressing. "Well whore, I told you I'd had an idea didn't I?" and with a sleezy smile, Giuliano began walking towards her.​

    ~<^>~​

    Scarlett​
    "Amy, this is a horrible existence we are part of isn't it?" Scarlett had picked the worst day to leave her hideout. It was bright and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. This made Scarlett grimace as if she was in pain. Amy nodded. She had proven herself and Amy would actually, not even be returning as Amy to Rouen. Her intiation would be that very night under the red star. "Where might we be going Lady Scarlett?" Amy asked timidly. "To the city of Rome of course but first we must buy passage from an old friend of mine," Scarlett chuckled at that last statement. In truth, this "friend" was no friend at all, but he obeyed her nonetheless. He was an Italian smuggler who would be in port at Athens, awaiting her arrival. Hopefully, Giuliano, his first mate had captured Andromeda as well. Scarlett smiled at that. Andromeda had once threatened her entire existence but now that her precious brother was dead and her former friend Sophitia was lost, there was nothing standing between the two of them. Today was a day of vengeance no matter how "beautiful" some say it might be.​

    When they reached the Port of Athens, Scarlett saw the ship she was looking for. "Amy, we are here and in a mere two hours you shall be reborn in this very square." Once night had fallen, Elza and Muriel brought forth the sacrifice. This one was a young girl a year or two older than Amy, and much uglier. Scarlett raised her head and spoke in Darylaa, a language long forgotten, "Alethno, Harribeck! Renith, Azuna! Denat, ERALLIS!" A shadow crept forth from Scarlett's body, like a child born from a mother and spun around Amy. The girl was tied above Amy and the shadow rose slowly to the girl's throat. In an eruption of blood, Amy went through a metamorphosis. Her bright red hair turned light violet, very nearly white, and her eyes changed shape slightly. Amy began to speak in her more adult voice, "My lady, I am yours. Name me as you wish and tell me what I must do."​

    "You shall find the shape-shifter from the Northern European Plains. Help him. Guide him. But first you shall return with me to Rouen, Viola."​

    The next morning grey clouds grew all around the city and Scarlett knew today was the day to leave the city. When Scarlett was greeted by the captain and Giuliano, she pulled Giuliano aside, "Where is she? I must have her. The blonde Greek." Giuliano stared at her thinking for a moment and said "Who?" Scarlett's purple eyes almost seemed aflame when she began to yell at him. Giuliano brushed it off and walked back to his cabin, with Scarlett walking the opposite direction to her own. He has failed me and he will pay, but first we must reach Rome and find the relic to lead me to Sophitia Alexandra.

    ~<^>~​

    Andromeda​
    She opened her eyes to find herself in an unfamiliar bed with bruises and cuts all over her naked body. Andromeda wished it was just a dream but she knew it was not true. She let out a sob and her body shook when she exhaled. Andromeda heard footsteps leading toward Giuliano's cabin. He opened the door and began to speak, "Whore, I hope your happy, I just saved you from The Woman of Black and Red so you can be mine forever," Giuliano said as he approached Andromeda. He leaned in to kiss her and she accepted it remembering what happened the night before when she resisted. She continued to tell herself there would be escape but she knew she was wrong in this. This man overpowered her in size, stature and strength, there was no hope for her at this point. Andromeda sobbed into his mouth as he began to enter her once again.​

    Andromeda awoke hours later with Giuliano sleeping naked as his name day beside her. I have an idea, as well bastard. Hopefully, this will work... Andromeda thought sullenly. If Scarlett truly was on this galley, Andromeda would be a captive but not a captive used for sex with Scarlett. Andromeda dressed quickly and quietly and retrieved the dagger Rothion made for her in the style of a lightning bolt. She rubbed the dagger with a cloth and put it over the candle light until it was searing hot to the touch. Andromeda went to him and stared into his horrible face, no matter how handsome she thought it was when she met him on the docks, what felt like months ago. Andromeda held the dagger at his throat for a moment but could not convince herself to do it. She left the room and turned around to find herself face to face with Scarlett. "Why hello deary, are we going somewhere?" Scarlett smiled a wicked smile and drew her sword.​
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  5. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    Chapter 3​

    Scarlett​
    Scarlett began to enter a state of euphoria as she stared into Andromeda's eyes with her sword drawn. Andromeda quickly grabbed her sword and shield and they began to perform the dance they had performed so many times before. Scarlett went left, Andromeda went right and this process repeated nearly a thousand times before Andromeda made the slightest mistake and allowed Scarlett to knock her through a door, and onto the staircase up to the main deck. Scarlett violently grabbed Andromeda by her hair and threw her onto the deck. A few strands of blonde hair came off in her hand but she threw them away in disgust.​

    "Where's Sophitia now?" Scarlett mocked at Andromeda. "Wheres your brother, or should I say your lover?" Scarlett began to laugh at the sight of Andromeda crying. While Scarlett continued to laugh, Andromeda threw her shield at Scarlett. Scarlett was distracted and could not dodge it in time, so she ws hit directly in the head by the shield. Scarlett's head was swimming and she could barely move. Is this what dying is like? Scarlett thought. Scarlett could not let herself be killed by a young and ignorant harlot. "VIOLA!" screamed Scarlett. She saw Andromeda look confused, and then there was a small orb floating towards her. The small orb changed speed drastically and hit Andromeda in her stomach. Scarlett was able to stand at this point. "Well, I think its time we take this little party to the streets of Athens don't you Viola?" Viola moved her orb to Andromeda, lifted her with it and threw her onto the docks.​

    ~<^>~​

    Andromeda​
    Her head was pounding where Scarlett pulled her hair, she had to have several broken bones, and she was lying on her back, in the Port of Athens. Andromeda's weapons were left on the ship but her bag was still with her. She heard Scarlett's voice growing louder. I must hide...but where? Andromeda began to drag herself towards the edge of the dock. Once she was there, she began to push herself into the salty waters of the Aegean Sea. She tried to swim but could barely move her upperbody, so she began kick a bit while she was underwater. I cannot let her see me, she won't be able to, its too dark, Andromeda thought optimistically. She finally made it a good bit away from the ship and Scarlett so she floated on her back. Looking over at the horizon she finally realized what time it was. Daybreak, Scarlett will be looking for me all over the city. There was only one place Andromeda thought of going, no matter how much she didn't like it.​

    Once Andromeda pulled herself ashore, she found herself outside of the Alexandra's Bakery. I can't believe how lucky I am! I also can't believe why in the world I'm going to an Alexandra with my tail between my legs. Andromeda waited behind the shop until she began to hear traders and merchants returning to their daily jobs. Then, Andromeda heard the voice she'd hoped to hear. "Why won't this lock open!" Cassandra yelled at the door. There was a click and a slam of the door. Andromeda made her way to the front of the shop and opened the door. "Give me a second, I need to d-​
    Andromeda?!" Cassandra exclaimed. "What happened to you?" Andromeda told the entire story, starting with the visions and telling everything inbetween. "I need to get you to your father's home and let you rest," Cassandra said.​
    "No, Scarlett will think to look for me there. I have to find somewhere safe to lay low for a day or two," Andromeda explained.​

    "Andromeda, what are you trying to prove with this little journey anyway? Soul Edge has disappeared, it is a time of peace," Cassandra said. "I was trying to help Sophitia. That woman in the vision, there was no possible explanation as to why she is not Sophitia. You want to find her as much as I do," Andromeda said. "Your right, but I still don't like it. I have an inkling of how we can get out of here without being noticed," Cassandra said leading her out the back door to a wheel house "This brings our bread to Rome every three months. I was just about to start loading the inside when you appeared." Cassandra explained "So, we are going to ride in this wheel house, and leave Athens undetected, appear in Rome as ourselves and find whatever is causing this to happen to Sophitia." Andromeda couldn't help but feel an impending sense of doom. "I lost my sword and shield while I was fighting Scarlett, I can't return to the ship to get it either. What I'm trying to say is, I need a new sword and shield." Cassandra nodded and lead her into the wheel house.​
  6. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    Chapter 4​
    Lena​
    "Man the cannons! Raise the sail! This is no common enemy!" Lena yelled at the top of her lungs to her crew. There was a strong wind picking up and Lena spotted the two women she expected to see on the ship opposite her. Lena chuckled to herself. This must be that squalling bitch I whelped years ago... She's got her father's bravado all right. Now, lets see if she lives up to either of her parents' skills. The other ship began to parallel with Lena's and a gangplank was thrown over the two ships. "We do not wish to battle your Valeryon, Queen of the Waters," said the second, horsefaced woman. Lena crossed the gangplank, her hand on the golden pommel of her sword. "I may allow you to pass this place unharmed, but first I must know your names," Lena said flirtaciously. "I am Isabella, of House Valentine. Commonly called Ivy. Now, can we leave this place or must I participate in more of your rhetoric you worthless cur." So, she truly is my bitch of a daughter.​
    Lena walked closer to Ivy and put a hand to her unarmored shoulder. "You still have not realized have you?" Lena said with a smirk. "What do you expect me to have rea-" Ivy was cut off by Lena's sudden slap. Lena smiled and then drew her Snake Sword. Extend! Lena thought as her sword seperated into several links. "You, you must be..." Ivy stammered out."What, your mother?" Lena charged.​
    ~<^>~​
    Andromeda​
    Since her encounter with Scarlett, her wounds had healed unnaturally quickly. Andromeda wondered if that strange twisted piece of blue-white metal Rothion gave her had anything to do with it. "How are you feeling?" Cassandra asked for the umpteenth time. "I've answered your question a thousand times Cass, I'm fine," Andromeda said with a tone so cold it was like to freeze Cassandra's ears off. That last comment made Andromeda feel terrible. Cassandra didn't even want to accompany me let alone give me a sword and shield from their brother's forge. The weapon Cassandra had given her was called Dark Blade and it was forged by Rothion and Cassandra's younger brother Lucius. Andromeda watched the world pass her by through the small, veiled window in the wheelhouse. The journey was mostly pleasant, but when the two had to hide in the shipment of bread to avoid Scarlett's informers, Andromeda got a sour taste in her mouth.​
    Suddenly, there was a loud crash up ahead. Andromeda tore the drapery from the window and beamed ahead. There was a large amount of smoke and there were many people fleeing. "Run!!" one yelled. "It's judgement day!" Another screamed. "This is a nightmare!" an old woman croaked. Andromeda pushed the door of the wheelhouse open and jumped out. Cassandra followed her reluctantly and they found themselves watching two figures destroying a village. "Cassandra, thats the one from my visions," Andromeda choked out, "Its Sophitia."​
    "What?! Are you sure?" Cassandra yelled. Andromeda nodded. Cassandra drew her sword and ran headlong towards the two women. One of them turned their head toward the sudden activity. She threw her hood and cloak back to reveal a wreath of thorned, corrupted leaves, adorned with a single wing on the right side. A lone eye blinked on the wing protruding from the wreath. Sophitia wore a small revealing breastplate, over a torn toga. On her lower body was a fauld with a single eye in the center, covering her torn skirts. Her sandles had large skulls upon the top. Her arms were protected by vambraces, with strange horns on them along with bands around her upper arm. The defining features of this new Sophitia were her reddened eyes, flowing black wings coated in an ethereal aura, and her long golden braid. "Cassandra, you are not welcome here. I see you have done something correct for once. Thank you for delivering my key to unleashing Soul Edge's power!" Sophitia began to step towards Andromeda. Sophitia's azure armor glinted in the sun and her horrid sword seemed to follow her every movement.​
    When Sophitia reached her, Andromeda tried to attack but Sophitia parried as if Andromeda's attack was no more powerful than a feather in the wind. "Andromeda, you are not ready yet. I cannot use you as of now. I will give you a parting gift for bringing me the final piece of Soul Calibur my sweet husband tried to reforge...before I killed him." Sophitia grasped one of Andromeda's breasts and cackled. Andromeda felt weakened as Sophitia drained a part of her soul. Nightmare smiled her formerly reassuring smile and stabbed Andromeda in the abdomen.​
    Notes: I know, I know, VERY Andromeda heavy chapter. Feel free to comment between chapters in case anyone didn't think they should. Next update will probably be a less Andromeda heavy chapter and more Scarlett, Lena, Lysa, Aeryn and a new character I'll be revealing sometime soon in my CaS thread.​
    Soul, KiraxSummers and Leshain like this.
  7. Dab_Of_Oppo

    Dab_Of_Oppo Gentlemen of the Road

    Just picked up on this. Read chapter 1, promising. Expect a more in-depth assessment to follow! :)
    SophieChan likes this.
  8. Leshain

    Leshain [10] Knight

    PSN:
    Leshain
    XBL:
    Forgot it
    Interesting, very interesting!

    I also have a large 10 chapter book with my own custom characters in the SC universe but am far to shy to reveal it due to my sloppy and confusing storytelling and sometimes odd choice of character traits and design.

    So kudos to you for being brave enough to post your work here.

    I'll get to reading this now. :)
    SophieChan likes this.
  9. Dab_Of_Oppo

    Dab_Of_Oppo Gentlemen of the Road

    Just because you said that. You know what I have to say now.

    "Post it! Post it!" The chant can repeat itself if need be.


    Sophiechan - I've read up to chapter two. This is very well done, if a bit over-descriptive in places (why is the bird's nest relevant...). The dialogue is well written, too. Keep it up.
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  10. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    That bit about my over-descriptiveness made me chuckle. And the bird's nest relevance is just useless background info. Once I start writing I can't stop so I tend to leave too much information. This is also just the first copy of it. I'm looking for any criticism possible. Thanks!

    POST IT POST IT!
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  11. Dab_Of_Oppo

    Dab_Of_Oppo Gentlemen of the Road

    I'll try to be constructive more than critical. First, any words that are not relevant to a character or part of the story, delete them. It will sound much tighter. Don't be afraid to cut stuff. In an opening sequence I cut a part with my character down from 12 pages to 5. It's what you write, not how much. :) Certain descriptions are helpful, but only to the writer. I have yet to even describe my characters appearance in the story, but I've written it out for my own purposes.

    An this is pre-edit or any revision? You show some serious promise then! Everything I've done has been edited at least twice before it sees the light of day! haha! Keep it up!

    Hope that helps!
  12. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    Thanks! I was originally going to post my CaS of these characters and use those as their character descriptions, but the craptastic Sim Calibur is not enough to do the character's images I see in my mind's eye justice.
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  13. Leshain

    Leshain [10] Knight

    PSN:
    Leshain
    XBL:
    Forgot it
    I be to shy. :P some parts are kinda corny.
    SophieChan and Dab_Of_Oppo like this.
  14. KiraxSummers

    KiraxSummers [12] Conqueror

    Good work Sophie chan :) I can't believe I did not notice this before. It reads well and is quite well paced. When I used to write, pacing was my biggest vice. Some parts were amazingly fast paced and tight but other chapters could drag on like a dead weight :/

    Nuff said.
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  15. Dab_Of_Oppo

    Dab_Of_Oppo Gentlemen of the Road

    You know you want to.

    I forgot to even mention that! I concur with Kirax as well.
    KiraxSummers, Leshain and SophieChan like this.
  16. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    Thanks so much to both of you. I appreciate the praise.

    @Kirax
    POST ONE!! POST ONE!! POST ONE!!
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  17. SophieChan

    SophieChan [14] Master

    PSN:
    jack41697
    Sorry for double post, but Saturday I will have the newest chapter complete. It will be less Andromeda centered and my last point of view character will be introduced. Her name is Abigail, an agent from England sent by the queen to assassinate Scarlett and to find the reason why villages are vanishing in Mid-Eastern Europe. Abigail was not sent a vision from Sophitia, but rather the queen. Fortunately enough, Sim Calibur has the exact items I need to make Abigail, so a picture of her will be posted along with Chapter 5. Last chapter of exposition my friends, then the real action will unfold.
    Leshain, KiraxSummers and Dab_Of_Oppo like this.
  18. Dab_Of_Oppo

    Dab_Of_Oppo Gentlemen of the Road

    What point of view is this? It looks like Third/Limited Third to me.
  19. Leshain

    Leshain [10] Knight

    PSN:
    Leshain
    XBL:
    Forgot it
    This is why you "DONT" wanna hear my crazy weird stories about all things SoulCalibur...

    By that wallpaper alone, just imagine the written work.
    SophieChan and KiraxSummers like this.
  20. KiraxSummers

    KiraxSummers [12] Conqueror

    Oh - kaaay, I don't know what to say XD Oh, who's the guy on the far left?
    SophieChan and Leshain like this.
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