Character jokes!

[sephalump]

So, I know I'm a noob to get beat by them this often, BUT I get nailed by the spam characters and in the best way to live life I make up jokes and laugh about it.

Killik: That's the only piece of wood he has.
Sophitia: Your command throw only hurts because the STD's I get, and you only love one of your kids.
Cervantes: You daughter is a soul less hooker.

Mind you this isn't to offend any players, I make fun of my own mains. I'm just really bored and wonder if anyone else has talked sh*t about these characters, or any others really.

 

[endnow]

Uuh...

Siegfried: stfu Emo
Ivy: being a gimp turns me on
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Mitsu: you beat me with Samurai lag-fu

 

[Nukemall]

This is right up my alley!

Ivy: A Soul Calibur equivalent of a dominatrix
Nightmare: Why it's not a good idea to employ him in a burger chain
Talim: The girl whose mere presence makes people involuntarily shit their pants

 

[FleshMasher]

Zasalamel = Carameleye...
Cervantes is in serious need of a parrot, a hook and a wooden leg.

Another fun thread:

http://www.8wayrun.com/f21/make-your-own-sciv-border-t3442/

 

[Kyam]

Ivy: press 236G to do the breasts-GI, catches all mids and bounces opponent back, godly at edge/wall
Siegfried: time ago Zasalamel scarred my eye with his long black staff.... wut? he uses a scythe? omfg
Talim: Wind!! Give me some boobs!

 

[TsunamiBye]

Yun-seong: I wish I was like Hwang......

Seong Mi-na: I'm low tier......

Yoshimitsu: Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Namu Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky Pocky........Seppuku....Yeah you knew this was coming

 

[Belle]

Zasalamel: Where all the black guys at?!
Cervantes: Do you ever say "arrgh"?

 

[TsunamiBye]

^Or Yar.....

 

[The-Instigator]

Cassandra: Proof that using your ass can hurt... your opponent.
Yoshimitsu: 2 A+K, A+K, A+K, A+K, A+K, A+K, A+K, A+K, A+K... molesting the ground with style.
Yun-Seong: His distant cousin in America is Shaggy from Scooby Doo.
Xianghua: Stfu already.... GOD! *plugs ears with fingers*
Rock: I..... AM..... BEOWOLF!!!
Voldo: Y...M....C....A It's fun to stay at the Y...M...C...A!
Hilde: Do I even need to make fun of her?!?! o_O
Cervantes: Yaaarr, where be my Capn' Crunch cereal?
Mitsurugi: More like Samurai Asshole (Newgrounds reference, ftw!)
Raphael: Is it just me or has this guy been spending too much of his time with Mr. T? "Yah fo!"
Talim: *insert fart joke here*
Darth Vader: Raaaaarrrwwww! *toilet flush*
Setsuka: Would make a great Human Resources manager.
Seong Mi-Na: Where did she learn some of her moves.... Pole Dancing Academy? (A+K, 1,2,3 B+K)
Astaroth: #1 Ryona fan ("Let me hear you scream", "Don't scream, you cur")
Starkiller: For a flashy Jedi apprentice, he sure screams like a pussy when he's KO'ed (this isn't a joke... he really screams like a wimp)
Taki: Aren't Ninjas supposed to wear black?
Zasalamel: Has a pimphand weaker than Katt Williams.... ZING!
Ivy: Like Maria Carie, some people are tired looking at her half naked.
Nightmare: Happiest sword-human entity in the world.
Siegfried: Fabio has got nothing on Sieg's hair... I wonder where he gets his shampoo...
Amy: A 20 year old stuck in a 14 year old's body... I think there's a movie like this somewhere.
Algol: Akuma and Bob Marley called... they want both their hair color and dreadlocks back.
Lizardman: Steve Irwin would of had a blast wrangling him... R.I.P Crocodile Hunter.
Kilik: Ling Shang Su Bo!! Enough said.
Sophitia: Same as Cassandra
Kratos: THIS.... IS.... SPARTAAAAA!!
Dampierre: Basically, a reincarnation of Michael Jackson, only French and smells of BO O_o.
Yoda: Looks and probably feels like a fully grown gonorrhea bacterium.

 

[onlywingedangel]

Yoshimitsu: 8A+K 8A+K HA HA YOU CAN't REACH ME NAH NAH NAH NAH

 

[Nukemall]

Talim: Why alcohol/drugs, pounding techno and wind dancing don't mix

Cervantes: Makes Captain Barbossa look weak and pathetic, especially when wielding Soul Edge
Kilik: Gordon Ramsay wouldn't hesitate to snatch his Kali-Yuga and ram it up his arse sideways
Kratos: When he's not hacking off limbs and destroying giant monsters, he likes to get it on with the female cast of Soul Calibur
Xianghua: Her irritating voice and "Just kidding!" quotes make you want to stick loads of parcel tape on her mouth