Jokes thread
- Thread starter Blade_edge
- Start date
hwang24
[10] Knight
EDIT: "...and also factually incorrect"
*My fault*
*My fault*
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leonardhartm
[01] Neophyte
Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat.”
Little Johnny replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
Little Johnny answered, “No, he minded his own business!”
After the sixth one a man on the bench across from him said, “Son, you know eating all that candy isn’t good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat.”
Little Johnny replied, “My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.”
The man asked, “Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?”
Little Johnny answered, “No, he minded his own business!”
sytus
[14] Master
"2017 was a great year for feminism, we've had more male suicides that year than any other year to date."
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
Why the hell do people say "I slept like a baby" like thats a good thing?
So you slept for 2 hours, shit yourself, and woke up screaming?
So you slept for 2 hours, shit yourself, and woke up screaming?
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K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
Whatcs the difference between hard and light?
You can sleep with a light on.
You can sleep with a light on.
hwang24
[10] Knight
Okay, okay, so... I go on this 8wayrun.com forum, right... and... I go on there and-and I saw somebody with an avatar there that was SO SICK...
hwang24
[10] Knight
... this is usually the cue when the members say:
"HOW...SICK...WAS IT?"
** chirp chirp chirp **
"HOW...SICK...WAS IT?"
** chirp chirp chirp **
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
um, How sick was it?
hwang24
[10] Knight
Man, it was SO SICK that...that it had that one 'My Little Pony' character -- uh what's tha' name?... that uh... yea..uh, 'dat Pinkie-Pie, right? Yeah and the guy had an animated avatar of the pony shaking her head with the caption that said,...
"NOPE!"
-- In the Final Round tournament -- 2018 in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, that was what Tekken 7's Knee said to JCDR.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct...=Y9iTmgT4_MY&usg=AOvVaw2wL3mdZjnsR0nU2xJJBbro
"NOPE!"
-- In the Final Round tournament -- 2018 in Atlanta, Georgia, USA, that was what Tekken 7's Knee said to JCDR.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct...=Y9iTmgT4_MY&usg=AOvVaw2wL3mdZjnsR0nU2xJJBbro
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performance on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal and she kept screaming "9!" Best score I've ever gotten.
Last night we tried anal and she kept screaming "9!" Best score I've ever gotten.
- Moderator
- #1,173
WindupSkeleton
[14] Master
I don't date Germans anymore, I've gone guten free.
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
Police are so biased these days. When most people donate a kidney they get called a hero.
I donate 5 and get arrested.
I donate 5 and get arrested.
sytus
[14] Master
The police have advertised in the paper today that they're looking for a racist attacker, so I decided to give them a phone call about it only to be told it wasn't a job.
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
My bank lets me send a text message and it will reply with my bank balance.
It's a cool feature but I don't really think the LOL was necessary.
It's a cool feature but I don't really think the LOL was necessary.
sytus
[14] Master
Lots of old politically incorrect jokes here that recently popped into my head again. If you're easily offended do not read but also do not treat jokes as endorcements. Dark jokes are just jokes, nothing more.
What's the difference between a woman and a fridge? Fridge doesn't fart when you put the meat it.
What's the smallest hotel in the world? A vagina because you have to leave your bags outside.
What's red and hangs from trees? Gorilla's afterbirth.
What does a male and a milk bottle have in common? Empty from the head up.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed their hair black? Artificially intelligent.
How do you fit 4 gays on a stool? Turn it upside down.
What do you call a Pakistani lesbian? Mingeater.
What do you call a postitute with no arms or legs? Cash n' carry.
What do you call a postitute on a push bike? Feels on Wheels.
Irish inventions: Inflatable dart board, waterproof teabag, fireproof match stick.
What does a woman and a KFC have in common? You get a bit of brest, you get a bit of leg and a big greasy bucket to put your bone in.
What you do call a black man falling down a waterfall? Choclate drop. What you do call a black man falling up a waterfall? Black magic.
What you do call it when you put a black man on the moon? A problem. What you do call it when you put lots of black men on the moon? A big problem. What you do call it when you put all the blacks on the moon? Problem solved.
What's the difference between a woman and a fridge? Fridge doesn't fart when you put the meat it.
What's the smallest hotel in the world? A vagina because you have to leave your bags outside.
What's red and hangs from trees? Gorilla's afterbirth.
What does a male and a milk bottle have in common? Empty from the head up.
What do you call a blonde who's dyed their hair black? Artificially intelligent.
How do you fit 4 gays on a stool? Turn it upside down.
What do you call a Pakistani lesbian? Mingeater.
What do you call a postitute with no arms or legs? Cash n' carry.
What do you call a postitute on a push bike? Feels on Wheels.
Irish inventions: Inflatable dart board, waterproof teabag, fireproof match stick.
What does a woman and a KFC have in common? You get a bit of brest, you get a bit of leg and a big greasy bucket to put your bone in.
What you do call a black man falling down a waterfall? Choclate drop. What you do call a black man falling up a waterfall? Black magic.
What you do call it when you put a black man on the moon? A problem. What you do call it when you put lots of black men on the moon? A big problem. What you do call it when you put all the blacks on the moon? Problem solved.
HolyCarp
[14] Master
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K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put the wrong sock on this morning.
Because I put the wrong sock on this morning.