ShaolinTiger86
[13] Hero
Ever imagine what your favorite Soul Calibur characters would look like in various sitcoms? Well sit back and enjoy reading these episodes of your favorite SC characters in sitcoms.
Laughter can be heard as the opening credits begin to roll. It is later revealed that the laughter is coming from Xiba and Leixia as the Beavis and Butthead theme plays
Xiba and Leixia in "We're your kids!"
At Algol High School, Xiba and Leixia sit in the back of a classroom, continuously laughing. The teacher makes an announcement.
Teacher: Okay, class. Tomorrow is take your child to work day which means for some of you, this will give you an option to skip school. However, should you skip school, you must do a paper on your parents' jobs.
Students: *all moan*
Leixia: Hey Xiba, heh heh, we don't get to go to school tomorrow.
Xiba: Cool, heh heh. I always wanted to skip school, heh heh.
Teacher: Xiba, Leixia, are you two planning on going to work with your parents?
Leixia: Our parents, heh heh? Our parents like busy...and stuff.
Xiba: Yeah, yeah, like neglecting us and crap, heh heh.
Teacher: Neglecting you?
Leixia: Yeah, like, heh heh, they're too busy to be with us.
Teacher: Well, then you may not have to go with your parents then.
Xiba: No way, dude, heh heh, we're gonna like...find our parents and make them love us and crap.
The bell rings and school is dismissed. Xiba and Leixia are walking home
Leixia: Hey Xiba, heh heh, you think we're gonna find our parents?
Xiba: I hope so, so that we can eat all their food.
Leixia: You always think of food, Xiba.
Music Video Break:
LMFAO's Sexy and I Know It is playing on Xiba and Leixia's TV. Both Xiba and Leixia are talking during the video.
Xiba: Hey, Leixia.
Leixia: What?
Xiba: I'm sexy...and I know it, heh heh.
Leixia: Xiba, you're not sexy.
Xiba: Your just jealous that all the girls want me because...I work out, heh heh
Leixia: Xiba, you never worked out in your life.
Xiba: Oh yeah, heh heh, but at least I can wiggle
As the wiggle wiggle part in the song plays, Xiba is seen "wiggling" in front of Leixia. Leixia looks disgusted. The music video ends.
The next day, Xiba and Leixia set out to find their parents.
Leixia: Hey, Xiba, you do think we should find first?
Xiba: Let's find our mom, heh heh.
Leixia: Moms rule.
Xiba and Leixia walk around town looking for their mother. They stop at a strip club where they are stopped by a bouncer.
Bouncer: Hey, you kids need to move along now
Leixia: We're like...trying to find our mother and see if you can let us in?
Xiba: We'll pay you in food, heh heh.
As the bouncer is about to pummel Xiba and Leixia, a woman wearing a black dress with white and gold design, black stockings, her hair in a bun stopped the bouncer.
Woman: Don't hurt those kids!
Bouncer: Sorry, Miss Chai.
Leixia: Miss Chai ?
The woman looks directly at Leixia and then Xiba.
Miss Chai: Oh my.
Xiba then looks at both the woman and Leixia.
Xiba: Whoa, Leixia, you and that woman look alike.
Leixia then looks at the woman and her eyes widened.
Leixia: Whoa, we do look alike. Almost as if we're...
Miss Chai: You know what, I'll take these kids somewhere else.
Bouncer: Fine by me.
As Miss Chai took Xiba and Leixia, Leixia looked at the woman again.
Leixia: Lady, you like so much like me, heh heh.
Miss Chai: Oh god, why aren't you in class?
Leixia: Because it's take your child to work day?
Miss Chai: Look, I have a day off and I and I come across two kids trying to get in a strip club.
Leixia: Are you like...our mom and stuff?
Miss Chai: What?!?
Leixia: We do look alike.
Miss Chai: Oh my god... I would never thought the two of you would actually find me.
Leixia: Where's our dad, heh heh?
Xiba: Yeah, dad, dad, heh heh.
Miss Chai: Oh, you mean...
Miss Chai takes Xiba and Leixia to a wrestling event. There, they see a man wearing a golden phoenix mask, a bronze breastplate, and blue pants wrestling against a much bigger opponent. The bigger opponent manhandles his masked opponent.
Leixia: Whoa, wrestling rules.
Xiba: Take him out, take him out!
Leixia: Which one is our dad?
Miss Chai: The one wearing the mask.
The bigger opponent finishes off the masked man, pinning him for the 3 count.
Announcer: Your winner, The Super Crusher
After the match, Miss Chai, Xiba, and Leixia are backstage looking for the masked individual. They head for his locker room, and see him sitting on a chair, a beer in his hand, and his head lowered.
Miss Chai: Knock knock.
Masked man: Who is it?
Miss Chai: Kilik, you know this is?
Kilik: It's El Kilik now, Xianghua, and why did you bring those kids here?
Xianghua: Well, remember those wild nights we had together?
El Kilik: You don't mean?
Xianghua: Yep, just ran into them today.
Leixia: El Kilik is our dad, cool.
Xiba: When I grow up, heh heh, I wanna be like El Kilik, heh heh.
El Kilik: Yeah, good luck with that, kid. Having to pursue your dream only to get your ass kicked so many times, it won't be so glamorous, isn't it.
Leixia: Can we have your autograph...and stuff?
El Kilik took off his mask. He sighs. He takes out a pen and signs Leixia an autograph.
Leixia: Make it out to me saying you're my dad and all.
El Kilik: Just be glad I'm signing you an autograph, kid.
Xianghua: Kilik.
El Kilik: Okay, okay, damn.
TV Break:
Xiba and Leixia are watching the Food Network. Xiba starts shaking and chanting "Food."
Leixia: Hey, Xiba, it's your favorite channel.
Xiba: Food, food, heh heh heh heh, food, food.
As they are watching the Food Network, ribs are being slow cooked on a grill. Xiba starts drooling.
Leixia: Xiba, are you okay?
Xiba: Food, food, food.
The Food Network then shows salmon being grilled as lemon juices are squirted onto the fish. This causes Xiba to try to eat the TV.
Leixia: Damn it, Xiba. You don't eat the damn TV.
The food network goes off.
The next day, both Xiba and Leixia arrive at Algol High School.
Teacher: Thank you, Patroklos for your paper of your mother being a...stripper cop for justice. Next up, Xiba and Leixia.
Xiba and Leixia head to the podium for their presentation.
Leixia: Our presentation about our time with our mom and dad is that our mom knows some bouncer guy from a strip club that she works at.
Xiba: heh heh, strippers rule, heh heh
Leixia: And our dad is some wannabe wrestler but he's okay, i guess.
Xiba: Wrestlers rule, heh heh, wrestlers.
Teacher: Xiba, Leixia, did you even spend anytime with your parents?
Leixia: Our parents are ashamed of us, that's why they're losers.
Xiba: Heh heh, yeah, their jobs suck because they had us young.
Teacher: Okay, thank you for your honesty, Xiba and Leixia.
Xiba and Leixia continue their nasal laugh as the credits roll.
Laughter can be heard as the opening credits begin to roll. It is later revealed that the laughter is coming from Xiba and Leixia as the Beavis and Butthead theme plays
Xiba and Leixia in "We're your kids!"
At Algol High School, Xiba and Leixia sit in the back of a classroom, continuously laughing. The teacher makes an announcement.
Teacher: Okay, class. Tomorrow is take your child to work day which means for some of you, this will give you an option to skip school. However, should you skip school, you must do a paper on your parents' jobs.
Students: *all moan*
Leixia: Hey Xiba, heh heh, we don't get to go to school tomorrow.
Xiba: Cool, heh heh. I always wanted to skip school, heh heh.
Teacher: Xiba, Leixia, are you two planning on going to work with your parents?
Leixia: Our parents, heh heh? Our parents like busy...and stuff.
Xiba: Yeah, yeah, like neglecting us and crap, heh heh.
Teacher: Neglecting you?
Leixia: Yeah, like, heh heh, they're too busy to be with us.
Teacher: Well, then you may not have to go with your parents then.
Xiba: No way, dude, heh heh, we're gonna like...find our parents and make them love us and crap.
The bell rings and school is dismissed. Xiba and Leixia are walking home
Leixia: Hey Xiba, heh heh, you think we're gonna find our parents?
Xiba: I hope so, so that we can eat all their food.
Leixia: You always think of food, Xiba.
Music Video Break:
LMFAO's Sexy and I Know It is playing on Xiba and Leixia's TV. Both Xiba and Leixia are talking during the video.
Xiba: Hey, Leixia.
Leixia: What?
Xiba: I'm sexy...and I know it, heh heh.
Leixia: Xiba, you're not sexy.
Xiba: Your just jealous that all the girls want me because...I work out, heh heh
Leixia: Xiba, you never worked out in your life.
Xiba: Oh yeah, heh heh, but at least I can wiggle
As the wiggle wiggle part in the song plays, Xiba is seen "wiggling" in front of Leixia. Leixia looks disgusted. The music video ends.
The next day, Xiba and Leixia set out to find their parents.
Leixia: Hey, Xiba, you do think we should find first?
Xiba: Let's find our mom, heh heh.
Leixia: Moms rule.
Xiba and Leixia walk around town looking for their mother. They stop at a strip club where they are stopped by a bouncer.
Bouncer: Hey, you kids need to move along now
Leixia: We're like...trying to find our mother and see if you can let us in?
Xiba: We'll pay you in food, heh heh.
As the bouncer is about to pummel Xiba and Leixia, a woman wearing a black dress with white and gold design, black stockings, her hair in a bun stopped the bouncer.
Woman: Don't hurt those kids!
Bouncer: Sorry, Miss Chai.
Leixia: Miss Chai ?
The woman looks directly at Leixia and then Xiba.
Miss Chai: Oh my.
Xiba then looks at both the woman and Leixia.
Xiba: Whoa, Leixia, you and that woman look alike.
Leixia then looks at the woman and her eyes widened.
Leixia: Whoa, we do look alike. Almost as if we're...
Miss Chai: You know what, I'll take these kids somewhere else.
Bouncer: Fine by me.
As Miss Chai took Xiba and Leixia, Leixia looked at the woman again.
Leixia: Lady, you like so much like me, heh heh.
Miss Chai: Oh god, why aren't you in class?
Leixia: Because it's take your child to work day?
Miss Chai: Look, I have a day off and I and I come across two kids trying to get in a strip club.
Leixia: Are you like...our mom and stuff?
Miss Chai: What?!?
Leixia: We do look alike.
Miss Chai: Oh my god... I would never thought the two of you would actually find me.
Leixia: Where's our dad, heh heh?
Xiba: Yeah, dad, dad, heh heh.
Miss Chai: Oh, you mean...
Miss Chai takes Xiba and Leixia to a wrestling event. There, they see a man wearing a golden phoenix mask, a bronze breastplate, and blue pants wrestling against a much bigger opponent. The bigger opponent manhandles his masked opponent.
Leixia: Whoa, wrestling rules.
Xiba: Take him out, take him out!
Leixia: Which one is our dad?
Miss Chai: The one wearing the mask.
The bigger opponent finishes off the masked man, pinning him for the 3 count.
Announcer: Your winner, The Super Crusher
After the match, Miss Chai, Xiba, and Leixia are backstage looking for the masked individual. They head for his locker room, and see him sitting on a chair, a beer in his hand, and his head lowered.
Miss Chai: Knock knock.
Masked man: Who is it?
Miss Chai: Kilik, you know this is?
Kilik: It's El Kilik now, Xianghua, and why did you bring those kids here?
Xianghua: Well, remember those wild nights we had together?
El Kilik: You don't mean?
Xianghua: Yep, just ran into them today.
Leixia: El Kilik is our dad, cool.
Xiba: When I grow up, heh heh, I wanna be like El Kilik, heh heh.
El Kilik: Yeah, good luck with that, kid. Having to pursue your dream only to get your ass kicked so many times, it won't be so glamorous, isn't it.
Leixia: Can we have your autograph...and stuff?
El Kilik took off his mask. He sighs. He takes out a pen and signs Leixia an autograph.
Leixia: Make it out to me saying you're my dad and all.
El Kilik: Just be glad I'm signing you an autograph, kid.
Xianghua: Kilik.
El Kilik: Okay, okay, damn.
TV Break:
Xiba and Leixia are watching the Food Network. Xiba starts shaking and chanting "Food."
Leixia: Hey, Xiba, it's your favorite channel.
Xiba: Food, food, heh heh heh heh, food, food.
As they are watching the Food Network, ribs are being slow cooked on a grill. Xiba starts drooling.
Leixia: Xiba, are you okay?
Xiba: Food, food, food.
The Food Network then shows salmon being grilled as lemon juices are squirted onto the fish. This causes Xiba to try to eat the TV.
Leixia: Damn it, Xiba. You don't eat the damn TV.
The food network goes off.
The next day, both Xiba and Leixia arrive at Algol High School.
Teacher: Thank you, Patroklos for your paper of your mother being a...stripper cop for justice. Next up, Xiba and Leixia.
Xiba and Leixia head to the podium for their presentation.
Leixia: Our presentation about our time with our mom and dad is that our mom knows some bouncer guy from a strip club that she works at.
Xiba: heh heh, strippers rule, heh heh
Leixia: And our dad is some wannabe wrestler but he's okay, i guess.
Xiba: Wrestlers rule, heh heh, wrestlers.
Teacher: Xiba, Leixia, did you even spend anytime with your parents?
Leixia: Our parents are ashamed of us, that's why they're losers.
Xiba: Heh heh, yeah, their jobs suck because they had us young.
Teacher: Okay, thank you for your honesty, Xiba and Leixia.
Xiba and Leixia continue their nasal laugh as the credits roll.