The Heart's Filthy Lesson--a banes romance fanfic

[Dr. Hates]

I.

The whiskey burned its way down the back of banes' throat, coming to rest in a ball of slow, pleasing warmth radiating from his stomach and suffusing his whole body with a glow that all too briefly took his mind away from the near-empty bar in which he sat. "Again," he croaked lazily, shaking his empty shotglass in the bartender's general direction. As the young man behind the bar made his way over to refill his drink, banes took a moment to appreciate the way the droplets of booze still clinging to the sides of his glass caught the dim light of his surroundings, twinkling like stars in the nighttime. His drink replenished, he knocked it back again in one go. "Again."

"Buddy," said the bartender, a youngish-looking man with an easy smile, soft eyes, and a plastic name tag that said STEVE in block letters, "I can't serve you anymore. You've had like seven of those things, and corporate says we're not even supposed to give you more than three. This is fucking Applebee's, dude--you can't get wasted here."

At that, banes' hand whipped out like a viper, his fingers biting into Steve's neck. He spoke slowly, acidly, through gritted teeth: "I. Said. Again."

Thirty seconds later, banes flew in a graceful parabolic arc through the Applebee's front doors thanks to a combination of Steve's surprising strength and less surprising lack of fondness for being choked by morose drunkards. Realizing that discretion yet remained the better part of valor, banes elected to stagger on elsewhere. He walked aimlessly from street to street, unsure of his destination. He wanted to go home; he wanted it more desperately than anything, really, but he knew that he couldn't. She would still be there packing her things. After a time, banes found a park and settled himself onto a bench. His head lolling back, he took a deep breath of the cool night air and let out a long, loud sob, wondering how it all came to this.

 

[Dr. Hates]

II.

banes' mind lurched through its alcoholic haze, grasping at the frayed edges of old memories. He had loved banes' girlfriend once, of that he was certain, but for the life of him he couldn't remember how it all began. That is, until everything flooded back to him in a rush.

They had known each other since childhood, their families sharecropping adjoining parcels of farmland, and throughout their youth they had been fast friends. That friendship was all that mattered to banes, and even as banes' girlfriend manifested the first blush of womanhood, his feelings for her remained simple and chaste. Eventually, though, in the way of such things, they grew apart. banes' girlfriend left the farm behind to make her way in the big city while banes himself stayed behind in an apprenticeship to a nearby village cobbler. He retained warm feelings for her, but he had little time to dwell upon the past while trying to master the intricacies of modern shoe repair.

Things changed, however, one Christmas several years later. banes' girlfriend, who had been away for so long, finally returned to visit her parents, and in the process dropped by to say hello to her old friend. When banes opened the door at her knock, his jaw nearly hit the floor. She was . . . different. She was beautiful. She stood before him wearing a loose, sequined top and a denim skirt (also sequined), her dark hair held in an intricate perm.

"b-banes' girlfriend," he stammered her name, "it's been years."

"It's so good to see you, banes! I really, truly missed you," she cried, bending down to throw her arms around his diminutive frame. They talked for what seemed like hours. She politely inquired about his life as a cobbler, while banes, for his part, pressed her for every detail about her city adventures. As she brought him up to speed on the events of her life, banes found himself only half-listening. Transfixed by her beauty and unsure of how to deal with the emotions welling up inside himself, his mind was far too busy to focus.

"What did you just say?" he asked apologetically.

"I said it's called 'multi-level marketing,'" repeated banes' girlfriend. "I buy the products and then sell them to my friends while the parent company takes care of my supply chain and administration! It's really great. Eventually, I'll even be able to recruit some of my own salespeople, and then I get a cut of what they make. It's like a great big pyramid made of money, so I'll totally be able to support us! Please, banes, come back to the city with me."

So he did precisely that. In two days' time, he had shuttered the shoe store for good, packed his things, and started on a romantic adventure he was certain would last for the rest of his life.

 

[Quail]

Gr8 narrative/10