damn-I-Suck
[12] Conqueror
This thread was inspired by the thread "information of every character". Only this time, it's all for fun/not serious. Post any revisions you think are funnier than mine, if I like it, I'll change it. Remember now, this is all for comedy! Now, make me laugh damnit!
Sieg: Play if you are manly. Learn how to pretend that you whiffed on purpose.
NM: Play if you wanna constantly backstep like a little bitch. For cowards who wanna keep their distance from people. For those that wish to compensate for something. Use his 2P weapon with his 1P costume and the entire right side of his body is a penis, which can be detached at half-mast. You're welcome.
Astaroth: Play if you like WWE, the HULK, or you're a bodybuilder. If you have an unhealthy obsession with unscaleable plateaus, you will love the big guy.
Xiba: Play if you have the munchies.
Pat: Play if you're a cop. Feel that justice baby! Also, this one's reserved for smug ass holes.
Apat: Play if you're a robot with no soul. Play if your finger dexterity is inhuman. For people who think "how" you press the buttons is more important than "why".
Omega: Play if you like kinky, gothy, slutty bitches, who love to stab you in the back.
Tira: Play if you're bipolar, or a meth head who gets jolly when they shoot up, and gloomy when they come down.
ZWEI: Play if you're a twilight fanboy fag. This werewolf sparkles too! Play if you really hate winning.
Dampierre: Play if you're rich and eccentric, and like kicking people in the nuts.
Leixia: Play if annoying little Asian girls is your sexual fantasy. Being able to be a big baby while breaking ankles.
Aeon: Play if you're secretly one of those reptilian men. Play Aeon if your lizard vision is based on movement.
Devil Jin: Play if you like Tekken and wanna troll SC by beating up SC characters.
Maxi: Play if you like Elvis, or like retro hair styles. If you were ever one of those kids who made nunchucks, this guy is for you.
Phyrra: Play if you're a pedophile that likes innocent, helpless little girls. Play if your the type that's too quick to apologize.
Viola: Play if you're one of those tards who believe in magic and fortune-telling Tarot cards. Also play if you're old school and grew up with freddy Crugar. If you like balls, this character is for you.
Algol: Play if you think you're better than everyone else, or deserve to sit in a throne. After all, both you and the mighty Algol have no equal.
Ezio: Play if you liked Assassin's Creed, or if you really have a thing for "mustardo". Play if you love to tell people I told you so, "I tried to warn you".
Mitsurugi: Play if you're the type of guy who watches Jackie Chan/Jet LI movies for hours on end. Who doesn't love the Asian badass? Play if you love the Samurai.
Voldo: Play if you like obscure, unorthodox tactics. Also, play if you're a gay man and likes to do pelvic thrusts while they dance to "Macho Man". Play if you're the ultimate troll. Play if, despite all your best efforts, you still don't fit comfortably into society.
Hilde: Play if you are boring and have no personality, and have nationalistic beliefs. "for our homeland!". Also play if you are a patriotic douch-bag.
Natsu: Play if you like the idea of white people learning Asian martial arts, so Bruce Lee fans should play her. Also, play her if you have a thing for tiny tits. Or, play if the idea of a petite blonde ninja turns you on.
Raphael: Play if you're annoying as fuck and like to constantly "poke" people with your annoying bullshit. Play if you have a thing for fencing or vampires.
Cervantes: Play if you grew up thinking that pirates are the coolest villians ever! Play if you like Pirates of the Caribbean, and think that Johny Depp as a pirate is the sexiest thing ever.
Ivy: Play if you like dominatrix, loose women who age very well, but who also possess the culture for the more refined things in life. Play if you like whips and pain.
Yoshi: Play if everything is a joke to you, and you love to troll. If you enjoy stabbing yourself, while still coming back to win, then he's for you. Also, play if you think a flag is a viable weapon compared to a sword.
Elysium: Play if scantily clad women with machine guns is your number #1 fantasy. Play Elysium when "it's meaningless".
Edge Master: Play if your old and decrepid, and you have to "trick" the young people in order to win. Play if you believe that the wisdom of old age outweighs the strength of youth. Play if you're a bitter old man. Play Edgemaster when you lack training.
Kilik: Play if you've ever had to give something up in life, or make a huge sacrifice. Kilik had to give up the Kali-Yuga, so he feels your pain. Play if you'd like to go back to the old days, the way things used to be. Trust me, Kilik wants his old moveset back just as bad as you do.
Sieg: Play if you are manly. Learn how to pretend that you whiffed on purpose.
NM: Play if you wanna constantly backstep like a little bitch. For cowards who wanna keep their distance from people. For those that wish to compensate for something. Use his 2P weapon with his 1P costume and the entire right side of his body is a penis, which can be detached at half-mast. You're welcome.
Astaroth: Play if you like WWE, the HULK, or you're a bodybuilder. If you have an unhealthy obsession with unscaleable plateaus, you will love the big guy.
Xiba: Play if you have the munchies.
Pat: Play if you're a cop. Feel that justice baby! Also, this one's reserved for smug ass holes.
Apat: Play if you're a robot with no soul. Play if your finger dexterity is inhuman. For people who think "how" you press the buttons is more important than "why".
Omega: Play if you like kinky, gothy, slutty bitches, who love to stab you in the back.
Tira: Play if you're bipolar, or a meth head who gets jolly when they shoot up, and gloomy when they come down.
ZWEI: Play if you're a twilight fanboy fag. This werewolf sparkles too! Play if you really hate winning.
Dampierre: Play if you're rich and eccentric, and like kicking people in the nuts.
Leixia: Play if annoying little Asian girls is your sexual fantasy. Being able to be a big baby while breaking ankles.
Aeon: Play if you're secretly one of those reptilian men. Play Aeon if your lizard vision is based on movement.
Devil Jin: Play if you like Tekken and wanna troll SC by beating up SC characters.
Maxi: Play if you like Elvis, or like retro hair styles. If you were ever one of those kids who made nunchucks, this guy is for you.
Phyrra: Play if you're a pedophile that likes innocent, helpless little girls. Play if your the type that's too quick to apologize.
Viola: Play if you're one of those tards who believe in magic and fortune-telling Tarot cards. Also play if you're old school and grew up with freddy Crugar. If you like balls, this character is for you.
Algol: Play if you think you're better than everyone else, or deserve to sit in a throne. After all, both you and the mighty Algol have no equal.
Ezio: Play if you liked Assassin's Creed, or if you really have a thing for "mustardo". Play if you love to tell people I told you so, "I tried to warn you".
Mitsurugi: Play if you're the type of guy who watches Jackie Chan/Jet LI movies for hours on end. Who doesn't love the Asian badass? Play if you love the Samurai.
Voldo: Play if you like obscure, unorthodox tactics. Also, play if you're a gay man and likes to do pelvic thrusts while they dance to "Macho Man". Play if you're the ultimate troll. Play if, despite all your best efforts, you still don't fit comfortably into society.
Hilde: Play if you are boring and have no personality, and have nationalistic beliefs. "for our homeland!". Also play if you are a patriotic douch-bag.
Natsu: Play if you like the idea of white people learning Asian martial arts, so Bruce Lee fans should play her. Also, play her if you have a thing for tiny tits. Or, play if the idea of a petite blonde ninja turns you on.
Raphael: Play if you're annoying as fuck and like to constantly "poke" people with your annoying bullshit. Play if you have a thing for fencing or vampires.
Cervantes: Play if you grew up thinking that pirates are the coolest villians ever! Play if you like Pirates of the Caribbean, and think that Johny Depp as a pirate is the sexiest thing ever.
Ivy: Play if you like dominatrix, loose women who age very well, but who also possess the culture for the more refined things in life. Play if you like whips and pain.
Yoshi: Play if everything is a joke to you, and you love to troll. If you enjoy stabbing yourself, while still coming back to win, then he's for you. Also, play if you think a flag is a viable weapon compared to a sword.
Elysium: Play if scantily clad women with machine guns is your number #1 fantasy. Play Elysium when "it's meaningless".
Edge Master: Play if your old and decrepid, and you have to "trick" the young people in order to win. Play if you believe that the wisdom of old age outweighs the strength of youth. Play if you're a bitter old man. Play Edgemaster when you lack training.
Kilik: Play if you've ever had to give something up in life, or make a huge sacrifice. Kilik had to give up the Kali-Yuga, so he feels your pain. Play if you'd like to go back to the old days, the way things used to be. Trust me, Kilik wants his old moveset back just as bad as you do.