Dab_Of_Oppo
Gentlemen of the Road
Thanks for the info, forgive me if I phone it in a bit. Been busy with school and work and a new sci-fi project with my cousin!
Celmisia (my manga project)
- Thread starter 0VincentRayne0
- Start date
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- #22
0VincentRayne0
Faith
no prob at all. take your time. i'm gonna be behind schedule this month anyway.
Dab_Of_Oppo
Gentlemen of the Road
"Fortune
Smiles upon you
You're not watching"
- Delain
My name is Cecelia.
I am eleven years old.
I attend the Ancora Institute,
but it is complicated...
They asked about what weapons. I don't know what I should say. All the others, they're all so talented! I want to be like them, but which one of them, I don't know. Swords are too heavy. Guns are scary and loud. My mom said I have there is something special about me, maybe it is the knife she left. I like that knife. I don't know though.
Never manage to get any good grades, not as smart as the other girls in my class. The teachers don't seem to like me. Expect for Marcos, he has me stay after music class to help him clean and care for the instruments. I like him. He is nice. Especially to me.
He did punish me though. Once. This other was teasing me about my parents and my poor grades and the other called my mother's knife a trinket! I didn't like what the other had to say. I think I stabbed her. All I remember was the screaming. I don't know what happened, but I haven't seen her in weeks. And no one answers me! What did i do to her? Why does everyone look at me differently now? Did I hurt her? Why does no one hang around me any more? Do they still like me here?
I know Marcos does though.
"I gotta keep on moving
I gotta keep on moving
I gotta keep on moving
I got troubles on my mind"
- Trocadero
Good evening students. I am your music theory and practice instructor. You may call me Marcos.
I can't say how or why I ended up at this institute. Answering and Ad I guess, probably similar to how the other staff ended up here. Well, I teach what I teach. Most of the students loathe my class, though I am delighted in the few who do take to music. There is a such a world in sound waiting for those who stop to listen!
Ah, my feelings toward the other instructors then. So much, so well. We don't get much respect in any school, the English and Literature teachers seem to like my presence. I can't really abide the physical education teachers though. Yes it's all very well and good running and running and running, but what will they actually learn?
As for the class itself, mostly introductory theory. If a student takes a liking to an instrument, who am I to turn them away? In example, this one little girl, she has taken to the cello like no other I've seen. She loses herself in the music, but the poor girl is troubled in other respects. Fits, so to speak. The other instructors have ignored her, and I will try to care for her as best I can.
If only I could get a hold of her mother or father.
-----------------------
Okay, this is Dab typing, not in-character anymore. Vince, here's why I put off making a character for so long. I hate making character fact-sheets with a passion. They tell you nothing about the person! Gah, I find them useless, but if you must know.
Cecelia - 15 years old - uses knives - dementia - very fierce if irritated.
Marcos - 28 years old - Colt .45 Model M1911 - can "Sherlock Scan" people
Sorry Vince, but these were probably not what you were looking for. I did phone it in on the names a little bit. 'Cecelia' and 'Marcos' are two names that I was going to use for the rivals in "Voices" but went with something else. So they're yours. Hope what I've given was okay.
EDIT:
Don't worry, only the names were taken from my other works. I am/was quite hesitant about making a character for a project that is not my own. Heh, I put probably too much thought into the characters though. (If you want I can send you a rough draft of their entire arc together) You'd probably feel the same way if I asked you to come up with someone for "Voices" or "Remembrance."
Also, on Marco's gun. If you've seen any WWII film you know what a M1911 is, but if you want to give him that Colt .45 or a Colt revolver, feel free. Your call
- Thread starter
- #24
0VincentRayne0
Faith
this actually is a huge help! me and my friend are doing this same thing to get to know our characters better. this is really helpful for creating the character's personality which, in a manga with many characters, is really important.
Dab_Of_Oppo
Gentlemen of the Road
Heh, I'm mostly hesitant to create something for work which I know naught about. I do have an arc/plan for the pair I gave you, if you want it let me know. I hate trying to presume the level of importance the character will have in the overall story. Also, another reason is how much say do we get in it? Oh, I've no regards if you snuff either of them, but I mean in regards to dialogue and their actions. Collaboration projects can be a bitch. Though you were likely just looking for donation characters.
Cecelia does read a bit read a bit like Emily, though that's probably me as a paranoid writer than anything else. If you want to know more about them, just ask, but these two are yours now! :)
*bows*
Enjoy, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with.
- S. Athas
hoshinocomet
[14] Master
Updated Yu's bio.
- Thread starter
- #27
0VincentRayne0
Faith
Don't worry. I plan on giving credit to everyone that has helped me. this is more of a collaboration since some of the characters are other people's with their own story and personality. it would be a donation if i made all that stuff up. i would be interested in hearing/reading that arc you have. anything to more understand these characters.
hoshinocomet
[14] Master
Im not sure how this would go into your story but anyways,
One night, as the students retreat to their dorms, Yu is finding it hard to sleep, and senses something wrong. He then hears a scream and then rushes out - and sees a shocking sight. A student had been cut down, and a shadowy figure was standing over him. He quickly administers basic first aid to the wounded student before asking the other horrified students to call their teacher immediately for assistance, before giving chase to the shadow.
Yu catches up and crosses swords with the shadowy being several times, before disarming him with a Autumn Leaf strike. Holding his katana to the figure's neck, he questions its identity. Giving a throaty laugh, the shadow simply replies that this is only the start of things to come for Ancora. He then vanishes into thin air, leaving Yu puzzled.
The next day, a emergency meeting is held by the Principal and the heads of Ancora regarding this incident. They immediately suspect that its Arachnid Institute's doing, but Yu, as a witness, feels that there is more to the eye.
Thats what I thought up of. That "shadow" is part of the mysterious "3rd party" which kills everyone from both schools.
One night, as the students retreat to their dorms, Yu is finding it hard to sleep, and senses something wrong. He then hears a scream and then rushes out - and sees a shocking sight. A student had been cut down, and a shadowy figure was standing over him. He quickly administers basic first aid to the wounded student before asking the other horrified students to call their teacher immediately for assistance, before giving chase to the shadow.
Yu catches up and crosses swords with the shadowy being several times, before disarming him with a Autumn Leaf strike. Holding his katana to the figure's neck, he questions its identity. Giving a throaty laugh, the shadow simply replies that this is only the start of things to come for Ancora. He then vanishes into thin air, leaving Yu puzzled.
The next day, a emergency meeting is held by the Principal and the heads of Ancora regarding this incident. They immediately suspect that its Arachnid Institute's doing, but Yu, as a witness, feels that there is more to the eye.
Thats what I thought up of. That "shadow" is part of the mysterious "3rd party" which kills everyone from both schools.
- Thread starter
- #29
0VincentRayne0
Faith
i like it. this is basically a written version of what i roughly had in mind. the first person from the third party that is introduced is a girl at a park named Rebecca. No one suspects her because she is always seen at the park everyday at the same time. the main character even speaks to her on occasion. the first character from the third party that we see committing the murders is a person named Astrid. She wields a chainsaw so her kills can be pretty brutal and she also excels in shadow manipulation as well as environment cloaking and even can disable abilities from a certain distance.
hoshinocomet
[14] Master
Interesting character. It looks like Faith will have quite a challenge on her hands.
- Thread starter
- #31
0VincentRayne0
Faith
yeah! Faith is gonna have to definitely get some courage and develop a heart of steel if she wants to survive.
Dab_Of_Oppo
Gentlemen of the Road
Where does she keep it when she isn't wielding it? Someone random carrying a chainsaw, would attract suspicion. Hah, Vince, unless its completely sci-fi, I kind of lean toward the realistic. Hope that's not an inconvenience, having to write around characters who aren't special. Maybe mine should die first.
Yeah, if you can't tell, lol, I'm not one for writing characters with 'powers.' I suspect my characters will be the earlier ones to fall. The only thing that would fall in my characters favor is if someone who has the ability to disable powers, that would be useless on characters who don't have any. Also don't know how powers would fair against normal weaponry like knifes and firearms.
Actually, Vince. The first murders. Will you have the protagonists come upon them after the fact? Maybe the murders will be pinned on the antagonists first?
EDIT:
If that's not too pretentious of me. Requesting my characters be killed off first. Figure the first one will likely want some meaning. Some sense that this will be a serious affair, and the inciting event of the story is just as important as the end.
As for Cecelia and Marcos, the more I know of the overall plans to this the better I can prepare this. For now, I'm writing it in what could basically be an isolated arc. There's still a lot of Emily in Cecelia, but I've been working a lot on voice in characters, hope this helps.
First sort of short-chapter of Cecelia. I'll leave the worldbuilding to you Vince,
------------------------------------
Cecelia
CH-003
05/16/2097
"Yksin Erämaassa"
“Marcos, thank you,” it was barely a whisper, but he heard.
“You’re very much welcome, Cecelia. Come by and play for me anytime you like.”
He always hears me.
None of the others pay any attention. It’s not so bad, being left alone. Especially after the Other and my knife. Better than being picked on.
I left the classroom and made for the exit.
My shoes are pretty, especially the noise they make on the floor.
I wish Marcos would let me be in his class more. No one stares at me there. No one whispers about me and the girl and the knife.
The knife, my mother’s knife.
They had taken in away after. Marcos slipped it back, made me promise never to use it on a classmate again, that my mother would not be please.
Would she have been pleased? I don’t know.
I’m outside now, did someone hold the door for me? I don’t remember pushing anything, just the floor and my shoes and my knife. My mothers knife, I can feel it tucked in my sock. I smile and toy with the ring she left me, too. A heavy band of silver, she never said where she got it. I bet someone like Marcos gave it to her.
There is no one left out here, all the others must have gone back to the dorm. Marcos would be finishing up his duties.
All the other girls, the way the look at me. And I still hear the screaming, whether it was the Others or mine, I don’t know! Don’t you look at me like that either! What would you have done, it was her gift to me. I know it was misused, but I’m sorry.
I turn around and look back on the school, the immense building. Full of all the happy students preparing themselves for the world. All the students who don’t look me in the eye.
They all belong there. It all seems right for them.
That immense, Marcos would call it majestic, building.
The building where I don’t belong.
The things in the dorm, it doesn’t matter. Marcos will understand, maybe I can sneak back in for his classes only.
I turn and walk further down the path, away from the school, and stop by the park.
All the birds calling at me. They would be heading back to their homes soon too. It is almost dusk. Do I go back to the school?
Three years of teasing, now turned to a quiet fear. Why do they fear me? What did I do?!
I cry out at nothing.
I want Marcos. I want my mother. I want that girl to leave me alone!
“Hello, there Cecelia.”
Spin at the sound. I thought I was alone at the park.
Fight or flight, I could run. But she’s just sitting there. Smiling sweetly.
“You should sit down, Cecelia,” the girl continued, patting the empty spot next to her, “There’s a lot on your mind I can tell.”
“How do you know me?” I stammer.
“Marcos thinks so highly of you.”
Beaming, “He does?”
Maybe I will go back after all, but the Other returns with her screams, but only for a moment. Interrupted by the sweet girl in the park.
“Oh yes. Come, Cecelia. We should talk a while.”
Slowly, I edge over to the bench and sit next to her. And she embraces me!
She embraced me!
It’s warm almost. All thoughts of Ancora vanish. She is not like the girls back at school. Their staring, their expectations of what I may do, it scares me.
And she lets go, and the warmth vanishes.
“You should go back to the dorms now, Cecelia. They will miss you.”
“They won’t!”
“What’s wrong, did some thing bad happen?”
“A girl, and my knife, I didn’t mean it, but now they all stare at me!”
“It will be okay, Cecelia, it will be okay.”
“It won’t, only Marcos likes me,” almost crying now.
She seems so comforting, “Tell you what!” She perks up, “Why don’t you come visit me here in the park every day. I like to come here after work, helps to think. I bet it would help you, too.”
Possibly a sniffle, I wipe my nose then bury me head in her shoulder, “Thank you.”
Then I look up, and she’s still there, still smiling and has her hand on me.
“What is your name, if we’re going to be friends?” I ask, stifling the choking in my throat.
“Rebecca,” and with a pat she gets up and begins to leave the park and me on the bench. Then she turns back.
“Oh and Cecelia, we’ll be very good friends indeed!”
A smile and she’s gone.
And I head back to Ancora, and slip in the dorms. No one says a word to me, not since the knife. Maybe I’ll tell Marcos about her!
Maybe I’ll tell Marcos.
The other girls must not know.
-------------------------------------
Hope that helps. Yeah, everything I'll contribute, unless you want me to work on it more, or unless "Voices" eludes me for a while, will all be primarily first drafts. I'll be phoning it in a bit on this one, sorry Vince!
Don't expect much and you won't be let down!
- Thread starter
- #33
0VincentRayne0
Faith
if i had that Gif image of that mustached man clapping I would put that on 3 times in a row. I can actually have your character's (especially Cecelia) have a big role in the story. but i have two ways of thinking about it. one involves killing off like 1 of them and like half the other (killing more of the soul/mind really). The other would be both of them dying. it's just a rough idea in my head at the moment that was forming as i was reading your post.
and don't worry about a person not having "powers" being a lesser character. we don't discriminate here! ^_^ there are several characters that don't have powers but have skills and or heart to keep up with the others. i plan on touching on that in the manga as well. of course at first sight a person without powers would feel either intimidated or somewhat inferior to a person that has them. but what if you learn how to take out someone with powers or become a valuable asset to one that has powers? stuff like that.
and about Astrid and the chainsaw. i already had that thought through. no one ever sees her normally. the only time she seems to show up to take another victim. after that she seems to disappear. so no one sees her at any other time. if you see her that means she wants to kill you right then and there.
and your writings was a huge help as well. makes me want to read more!
Dab_Of_Oppo
Gentlemen of the Road
Why thank you, you are too kind, it's nothing really!
I'll send you a PM, but there are multiple ways (around 4 major, with different routes to take for each choice, I'll draw up an outline tonight) I can see these characters going. Different scenarios with very different outcomes. I am enjoying writing Cecelia far more than I thought I would. Also, Marcos will carry a revolver, semi-automatics are for my other project. Still working on Marcos' voice. Maybe you'll only learn about him and his personality through Cecelia's PoV, well know, he'll be the one to explain how Cecelia ended up at the academy in the first place.
One thing, if you so choose. I know how she must die, and her last thought.
Part of Cecelia's thought process there, ha!
Intriguing.
Spooky! Like a little anime girl showing up at your doorstep with a violin case: "Well, that's me fucked."
You are far too kind to me... :) Lol, you asked for my help, hope to not let ya down.
Dab_Of_Oppo
Gentlemen of the Road
So, Vince, what is the theme of this project? One line that sums the whole story up. Don't worry if you don't have it, sometimes you have to finish it first. :) Just curious what you have in mind!
Ex: Theme of "Voices:" You cannot run from consequence.
Ex: Theme of "Voices:" You cannot run from consequence.
- Thread starter
- #36
0VincentRayne0
Faith
i was pondering that recently. my first thoughts were along the line of secrets and/or trust but i don't have an official line yet. Like you said it will probably be further down the line.
hoshinocomet
[14] Master
Lemme guess. "Heart"
- Thread starter
- #38
0VincentRayne0
Faith
nah. too cliched anyway. more along the lines of keeping secrets from someone you care about or anyone in hopes of keeping the person out of danger. and that person starts to lose trust in you because they know you are keeping something from them. but that's kinda cliched too. will work on it.
Dab_Of_Oppo
Gentlemen of the Road
My example was incorrect on theme. And I steered you wrong. Themes are always general and are never original. Themes aren't new. Now to parrot my cousin:
It's how you use explore the themes is where the originality comes from.
In my own work, a theme for a character is 'fear of being alone.' This is the same theme for Cecelia, even Data from Star Trek, however, each of those characters explores that theme differently. Theme is the question which the story explores. Data's fear of being alone was being unique. Universal solitude. Emily's fear of being alone is different, far more literal. Emily goes about trying to fix her fear in what I hope is a completely original way. Cecelia deals with her fear differently, finding a place where she (hopefully) can 'belong.'
Better example; the major themes of "Voices" are salvation and redemption. Salvation for the family, for the country, redemption for sins. How those themes are explored are different.
Avatar and Dances with Wolves have similar themes as well, but look at them differently.
Hope that helps, and makes up for leading you astray.
- Thread starter
- #40
0VincentRayne0
Faith
so i came across a song that i would so use for the opening of Celmisia if it was an anime. the other song at the start of this thread would be the ending.