Jokes thread

Christians always go on about the time Jesus fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fishes.

What about Hitler? He made six million Jews toast.
 
What does Wolfkrone have in common with a cardiac tumour?
Wolfkrone lives in its people's hearts.

Edit: may not have been completely sober when writing this, so sorry for the bad taste...
 
Two foreign men arrive in the U.S. and they sit down on a bench and notice a hot dog stand since it was their first time in the U.S. they decided to try it out. After buying their hot dogs the two men sit down and get ready to eat. First man opens up the foil looks at the hot dog and throws it away and then he turns to his buddy and says "Which part of the dog did you get?"
 
A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gives it to her.

Why does nobody like to fish with techno musicians?
Because they always drop the bass.

Sign posted in the deli section of a supermarket: "Please do not sit on the meat slicer, we're getting a little behind in our orders."

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he won't come when you call him.

Did you hear about the one legged woman who works at IHOP? I heard her name was Eileen.
 
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