Name a dessert better than cupcake

Party Wolf

What do you hate about cupcakes, @Party Wolf?
1) They are dry.
2) They're probably the most laziest dessert ever.
3)They are basically a poor man's muffin.
4)They aren't a whole lot different in concept than just taking off the crust of a loaf of bread, then putting some icing on it, and then calling it a treat for the whole family. You know what else eats the innards of bread loafs? Birds. You are eating chocolate bird food.
5)Getting a cupcake is like getting 2 bites of something mediocre. There are SO many different desserts out there.
6)Fuck sprinkles
7)Cupcakes are so lame, they have to put plastic rings in the icing in order to get kids to like them. That's sad and not even that fun.
8)You always have to deal with that paper wrap shit and get crumbs all over yourself. They're straight up messy. Again, poor man's muffin.
9)Why in the world is the icing not IN the ghetto muffin? This is like taking vanilla ice cream, putting an oreo on top of it, then calling it cookies and cream ice cream. Where the hell is the craftsmanship?
10)Is chocolate bird food reaaalllly that much more awesome when you put some icing on it? Is it really? If so then you can go straight to hell for liking cupcakes. It isn't even a damn cup if you think about it. Why not call a muffin a cupffin? Because if you said that you would look like a dumb ass.

TL:DR See the OP