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Bluegod
[11] Champion
Post the most interesting/bizarre/funny copypastas you have seen. I'll start off with a few good ones.
Please forgive English, I am Russia. I come to study Mechanical Engineering at American University. I am here little time and I am very hard stress. I am gay also and this is very difficult for me, I am a very religion person. I never act to be gay with other men before, but after I am in America 6 weeks I am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American video game and then we are kiss. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because I am very shame. I am feel so guilty, I feel extreme guilt as I am feel the pleasure. I pick up the telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her (in Russia)… I hang up the telephone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because of pleasure. Please help me I very need advice
Today being Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science for break. He was dressed as Ash. Knowing this was going to happen, I brought a Mudkips doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.
"So I heard you like Mudkips..." "MUDKIPS? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS." "O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is.." (he cuts me off before I could say 'if you were a mudkips') "OF COURSE." "Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and..."
Before I finished the sentance, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violently humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.
Needless to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.
I came back out two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd around him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up 'EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.
I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.
A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were all shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.
So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling, "I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I'M GONNA SUE..." and it was cut off.
I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.
So I ask you: do you like Mudkips?
"So I heard you like Mudkips..." "MUDKIPS? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS." "O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is.." (he cuts me off before I could say 'if you were a mudkips') "OF COURSE." "Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and..."
Before I finished the sentance, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violently humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.
Needless to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.
I came back out two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd around him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up 'EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.
I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.
A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were all shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.
So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling, "I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I'M GONNA SUE..." and it was cut off.
I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.
So I ask you: do you like Mudkips?
You fucking motherfucker. Do you know what you have just said? DO YOU?!?
I do. I know what you have just said, and I don't like it. I don't like it one fucking bit, asshole. You think you can fucking say that and get away with it? Yeah, I bet you do. Well, guess what, jackass. I have your IP address. Yeah, that's right. I'm tracing your location as I type this. When I find where you live, you fat faggot, I'm going to come to your house, rip your mailbox out of the ground, and shove it up your big fat ass. But that's not all I'll do, oh no. That's just the start. That's just the tip of the fucking iceberg of things that I will shove up your ass. Expect things like my foot, your head, a dragon dildo, high explosives, crossbow bolts, and more to have penetrated your anus by the time I'm done with you.
All you had to do was keep your stupid ass post to yourself, and not post it, but noooooooo, you just couldn't let it go. You had to hit the "submit" button and, well, buddy, your moronic actions will catch up with you.
Oh look, I just found your address. See ya, punk.
I do. I know what you have just said, and I don't like it. I don't like it one fucking bit, asshole. You think you can fucking say that and get away with it? Yeah, I bet you do. Well, guess what, jackass. I have your IP address. Yeah, that's right. I'm tracing your location as I type this. When I find where you live, you fat faggot, I'm going to come to your house, rip your mailbox out of the ground, and shove it up your big fat ass. But that's not all I'll do, oh no. That's just the start. That's just the tip of the fucking iceberg of things that I will shove up your ass. Expect things like my foot, your head, a dragon dildo, high explosives, crossbow bolts, and more to have penetrated your anus by the time I'm done with you.
All you had to do was keep your stupid ass post to yourself, and not post it, but noooooooo, you just couldn't let it go. You had to hit the "submit" button and, well, buddy, your moronic actions will catch up with you.
Oh look, I just found your address. See ya, punk.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch. I’ll have you know my name is John, and I woke up this morning 5:30 sharp to the smell of wet pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was SO Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to go to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th floor barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at base camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the entire arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to kill someone in over 700 different ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that will kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 push-ups, 8000 sit-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After basic training, I met a network of secret spies who will help me trace your IP address, while eating gold plated sushi and 15,000 $ champagne. My unit got the rest of the day off and I became captain of our base’s football team and starter of the basketball team. I got straight A’s on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting ready to go to sleep. I am going to graduate at the top of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for it. Don’t be a stranger and remember, I did more in one day than you will your entire life.
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