Jokes thread

Girl meets a guy at a bar.

Girl: "Hi, I'm Debbie."

Guy: "Hi, I'm Dave but everyone calls me Dick."

Girl: "How do you get Dick from Dave?"

Guy: "You just ask nicely."

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My mother taught me that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.

And people always wonder why I'm so quiet around them.
 
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When a guy says he is looking for a good country girl,

he doesn't mean one that has been plowed more than the damn farm.
 
I was playing Pokémon Go and it hit me that Ekans and Arbok are just Snake and Cobra (first letter aside) backwards.

Right after that I found a Muk.
 
I can't believe all these women are marching today while their men sit home and starve.
My bad for saying this JUST now. I'm really late.
Look, women were out there marching for equal rights (which may include marching for equal pay.) Men be' making more money than women in the SAME workplaces and positions. Men at home could've taken that money, go to a fast food place and have gone to buy their own lunch and dinner that day. :sc2cer2: ---> :sc2sop2:
 
My bad for saying this JUST now. I'm really late.
Look, women were out there marching for equal rights (which may include marching for equal pay.) Men be' making more money than women in the SAME workplaces and positions. Men at home could've taken that money, go to a fast food place and have gone to buy their own lunch and dinner that day. :sc2cer2: ---> :sc2sop2:
c9fa0aeb068f0e43d5c01b6f9e97d0f0.png
 
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