Official Jrasta Thread

Jrasta111

Jrasta111

[11] Champion
http://8wayrun.com/threads/random-post-thread.5373/page-429#post-706227
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Jrasta111 said:
@Pocky-Yoshi if you wanted to talk some more you're quite welcome here. I don't think most will quite appreciate what I've been through, might be nice to hear from someone else who does though, even if it's just a little.
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This testimony isn't much, but this an example of "even the strong fall". Yes, you get the privilege to know who Pocky Yoshi was.


Before I was saved, I would be considered the "good kid" with bright prospects. Good parents that will be married forever, a cool older brother, and a younger sister. There was love all around and I was indeed happy, but little did I know I was just a religious unsaved person. It was around the age of 18, that I realized life would be different. My plan was to go to college like everyone else, and hope for the best. However I was half-hearted and indecisive as I started. Ever since 5th grade, I was used to making my parents happy just by doing good in school. I get rewarded and spoiled with things, but I never once had the drive to rebel to my parents because I was content back then.

I never asked for much except things I liked and needed, and wanted to live like a carefree child. However, I never was forced to grow up and I wasn't relied on as much to do things. Because of that, I grew jealous of both my older brother and younger sister. Out of the three kids, I was a bit slower in learning, sheltered than them due to my wishy-washy nature, and I never once got selfish for myself. I was a bonafide people pleaser to only my parents....but soon other people who'd even listen to me. Including you beloved 8wayrunners.

Due to my mom's medical history, we sometimes had to go to hospitals to get check ups. So everyone in my family tried our best to stay together. However, my older brother fell in love and moved out to be his own man. My younger sister soon surpassed me as a person to get a job and soon took the mantle of what my older brother used to do: be the primary caretaker of my mom when dad isn't around. I was just a sheltered bum who helplessly lived an empty life and watched my mother health fail in 2012. This broke me in two.


In 2013, I was bound to pornography, depression, jealousy of other people's success, and suicidal thoughts because I thought I'd never amount to anything. I felt like Luigi. The beta male that needs help because he ran from every problem, and Mario would have to do things. My escape was surfing the web and finding love on social media. At first it felt good to be the beloved 8wayrunner and I actually grew to like people for who they are, yet I was empty. Every time I was smiling or being positive, I was hurting on the inside because I genuinely wanted more love. No one truly knows when someone is hurting, so I learned to always say something nice to the neglected and hurt 8wayrunners or other online dwellers.


Then someone told me about Christ. He wasn't like those silly Catholic graceful doers, those black hallelujah shouters, or any religious nonsense I avoided. I was just told straight gospel that convicted me at spring 2013. But like people pleasers that lie, I just took his number and went my way.


After Thanksgiving of 2013 at my aunt's house, my aunt asked me do I want to go to church, and I decided to go simply for church. Not like how I went back then when because my parents did it. I literally wanted something to help me through my pains, and remembered how my parents told me to seek a relationship with the Lord. When I went to a simple non denomination church, it was nice church. No crazy religion with fancy building, just simple service. What got my attention was when a middle aged man shared his testimony about how he whined to God on a little girl who is in trouble. Then he went on to say God told him I made you.


It wasn't until December 1, 2013, that I repented and decided to live for God. I made my first true friends in real life who were like family. They'd always encouraged me, rebuke me, and most importantly love me for who I was. It shaped me to be bold to preach the gospel wherever I go, and be myself boldly. Should I be out of line, I can always count on God to shape me up. Why I'm seen as some brainwashed dude in other people's eyes I already know. They don't know Jesus like I do. I can take the shuns of the whole world. Despite feeling trapped by their wiles, my amazing god has never left me or forsaken me.


Why I'm willing to do what God says, and just enjoy the ups and downs in life. Eventually he'll fulfill my desires as I go along. That's probably why I can boldly say I love people: Because God loved us first to die for us.
 
Pocky-Yoshi said:
This testimony isn't much, but this an example of "even the strong fall". Yes, you get the privilege to know who Pocky Yoshi was.
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Thanks for that, I really needed something to really get me to start writing my story out, appreciate the effort it must've taken and I hope getting it out helps you along too.
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To cut a long story short for now I've been getting over a big fall myself as of late. No good having everything just bouncing around in your head. Keep at it.
 
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