Need advice with something.

fireroses

fireroses

[09] Warrior
I need advice on something in real life. You see, I'm not comfortable not talking with people in person. So I need tips. Anybody can help me, but I need recommended guys.

Recommended people I need advice from. If it's ok.

Loli_Drizzle
emo_prinny
TagYouRPregnant
mikosu

U recommended peeps don't need 2 post. But, You guys are very nice.
 
why didn't you just pm them? i love giving advice but this thread is pretty pointless if you don't have your problem posted. just sayin.

another mild token of advice, learn to talk to people in real life. you're gonna have a pretty sucky life if you can't.
 
becky-bj said:
why didn't you just pm them? i love giving advice but this thread is pretty pointless if you don't have your problem posted. just sayin.

another mild token of advice, learn to talk to people in real life. you're gonna have a pretty sucky life if you can't.
Click to expand...

^This hit the nail on the head.
 
Fireroses, the best advice you're likely to get is from Becky, here. Somebody over the internet can say anything you want to hear. I happen to be a very accomplished writer and can make someone feel whatever I want through subtle manipulations and word choice. The written word is good at that.

But it's the spoken word that counts. The look in the eye of the person you're confiding in and looking to for help. Whatever your problem, the nicest person on this planet saying all the right things still won't mean shit in the long run. You need to talk it over with someone who can see you, then YOU need to take action. If you're feeling bad, you won't stop feeling bad until you make a conscious decision to do so. I could say all the right things to make you smile or even laugh if you're in a deep depression. I have a talent for that. But when I close the IM window, or navigate away from 8wr, or in an extreme case hang up the phone, you're still alone. I keep saying "I," but this really applies to anyone online.

I'm sure the people you listed are great people (and in one case know so), but ultimately it's you making changes and coming to terms. But a person who is in close physical proximity to you is going to be much more helpful.

Oh. And I'm not a nice person. Just to save you some trouble if that thought pops into your head. ;)

EDIT: Just realized I may not have been clear enough: nothing anyone can say on these forums will help in something like this. Same concept as getting into a cold-ass lake or pool: jump right the fuck in.
 
iKotomi said:
People on the internet also tend to say a lot of stuff you don't want to hear.
Click to expand...

Ziiiiinnnnngggg!

No but really Fire, the only way to make it easier to talk comfortably with people is to do more of it. And of course, a little self-confidence never hurts. :D

I think your situation is not uncommon in the digital age we live in. People feel safe and free behind the mask of the internet, cellphones, etc., but may not always be sure how to act face-to-face.
 
currently listening to the audio book of "how to win friends and influence people". the book itself was first published in 1936, revised in the eighties (so you will hear a lot of examples concerning Roosevelt, Taft, and the word "whippersnapper").
Yet this book is still in print because its advice is ageless.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People --- its wikipedia page, check it out, and if it seems up your alley, get a copy!
 
Serge2HOT4U said:
how to win friends and influence people
Click to expand...

A summary...
http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html

I guess this book has been popular worldwide, because a lot of people follow these rules.
I find it a little disgusting... The author seems quick to say "be genuine" or "be sincere" when it's indeed a good idea. But he refrains on admiting that you have to be dishonest for some of the rules.

"Smile."
Because you're only interesting if you wear a mask and hide all the bad things that are happening in your life, your regrets and your shames. Or if you're heartless and ignore the suffering that you see.

"The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it."
Don't work together to understand each other's point of view and find a solution. Avoid the problem completely.

"Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically."
If you still believe that the other person is wrong, be dishonest and pretend that you're wrong to avoid the problem.

"Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers."
Be an asshole and treat people like idiots. They won't say that they saw through your beginner bullshit, because they want to keep the good atmosphere, no matter how fake it is.

"Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires."
If you can't, then avoid creating an evil argument completely and say "I'm wrong", because dishonesty is only the work of Satan IF it causes early pain. It's acceptable if it's used for long-term manipulation, especially if you're dumb enough to be able to convince yourself that it was a moral thing to do.

"Dramatize your ideas."
Because you know you're right.

"Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly."
Because you know you're right.
If you need to fire someone, make someone else fire the person for you.
This way you don't look like an asshole and everyone is happy, because you are.





...People in real life are like all those who play top-tier characters on purpose in SCIV.
They need their character's blanket. In real life, they need a mask.
 
Plume said:
A summary...
http://www.westegg.com/unmaintained/carnegie/win-friends.html

I guess this book has been popular worldwide, because a lot of people follow these rules.
I find it a little disgusting... The author seems quick to say "be genuine" or "be sincere" when it's indeed a good idea. But he refrains on admiting that you have to be dishonest for some of the rules.

.
Click to expand...

nice analysis.Its interesting and valid the way you see it. Some of the simplest things can be so hard to explain and produce results. O.o
 
I use to be like this, what i did was I practiced with people who I was good with. Talk to like people youve know for a long time,mom,dad,sister,bro and then youll eventually get use to talking to other people.
 
Do: Go outside more. Make sure you're around people. You don't have to talk, but eventually you'll want to say something. Hell if I know why.

Don't: Stay inside too much or be secluded too long. You'll be out of social practice to the point of ineptitude. It's like playing Soul Calibur 4. If you turtle too much, your soul's gonna get crushed.

Best.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back