Write a poem about a character.

Zaden

Zaden

[10] Knight
I got the idea for this little casual game last night. Write a poem about a character you like to play, preferably flaunting the strengths of that character's play style. It can be as long as you want, and I guess you can even use past Soul Calibur games as well, 'cause favorites like Mina and Rock never made in the most recent installment. It doesn't even have to be beautiful from an English language standpoint to be cool; just give it a try! Here's what I came up with that gave me the idea.

I'm the wizard of lizard, the king of the ring.
You hack and you slash, you kick and you smash,
But with your final breath, you'll fall to your death.
You can message me rage, you can cry, you can pout,
But if you step on my stage, you're getting rung out!


Now, poets, show me your Dampierre only SC character poems!

Handy Soul Calibur character exhaustive compendium:
Abyss, Aeon/Lizardman, Algol, Amy, Apprentice, Astaroth, Cassandra, Cervantes, Charade, Dampierre, Darth Vader, Devil Jin, Edge Master, Ezio Auditore, Heihachi, Hilde, Hwang/Assassin, Ivy, Kilik, Kratos, Leixia, Li Long, Link, Maxi, Mitsurugi, Natsu, Nightmare/Night Terror, Olcadan, Patroklos, Pyrrha, Raphael, Rock/Berserker, Setsuka, Seong Mina, Siegfried, Sophitia, Soul Calibur/Elysium, Soul Edge/Inferno, Spawn, Taki, Talim, Tira, Viola, Voldo, Xiba, Xianghua, Yoda, Yoshimitsu, Yun-Seong, Zasalamel, Z.W.E.I.
 
Call me sad but I actually enjoy writing limericks...

Viola's moveset could always bewilder
But her pre-patch damage kind of killed her
So we complained every match
Until along came the patch
That turned her into SCIV Hilde.

Zasalamel, our one black guy token
Was replaced by Patroklos, brash and outspoken
Who, when in his Alpha form,
Raises a massive shitstorm
Because his 33B is fucking broken.

Mitsurugi has yet to be discarded
And his mixups will always be regarded
As a serious threat
Like his entire moveset
Which is, quite frankly, just retarded.


(disclaimer: I think the balance on this game is great, I was only joking... slightly)
 
"GET OUT OF MY FACE," you can yell all you want,
but you'll be in mine once I throw out a taunt.
Yoshimitsu the second, yes that is the name,
who makes you question if you're even good at this game.
That dragonfly K must be so hard to see,
because against all of you, I get that move free.
Into a doorknocker combo, he picks you right up,
"How is this, how about this?" and you know you feel stuck.
The launcher still hits you, so don't try to roll,
or you'll just be left mad, and calling me a troll.
Of course I'm a troll. I play Yoshi, you see.
Now do me a favor, and COME AT ME.

Guys, these are really fun to write. Coming from a guy who hates writing poetry.
8WR, what r u doin' to me?
 
Leixia's frametraps won't let you relax
Her WR B BE randomly tracks
But Namco saw her as faulty
So her SA got salty
When she took a swift hit from the nerf axe.

Algol has semi-decent throws
Algol has semi-decent lows
But I don't understand
Why the designers never planned
To give him semi-decent clothes.

I know limericks are corny
But if Tekken gets you horny
It wouldn't be a sin
To main Devil Jin
lol jk, he's banned from every tourney.
 
Little Violet

Red like wine her eyes glow.
Sands of time, reap what sows.
Unknown to the world, Empty inside.
The color of silver is nothing but a lie.
The moon is red, red like wine.
Nothing but confusion, deep inside.
The wolf, keeps her company not very benign
But none the less You hear the dins and screams of whiners online.
Oops! I said that?! That's just my mind.
However Little Violet is here in her place.
Sad, but true you get a ball to the face.
 
Just Frame Twister!
Crap, I missed her...
So I'll use me Critical when she thinks she has frames.
And that's how aPat wins most of his games.

(I'm not sure how true this is because I don't actually play him.)
 
And now, a haiku, written and performed by Voldo:

Ooh-Uh-Ahh-Ooh-UHW!
Ooyah, orch, chraaah, oh-woh, ohf!
HRAAH, Hroooo, hurrhuh, hooor?

Poignant.

Which man is the classiest?
This I moustache you.
The richest and flashiest
His charms you won't outdo.

The king of them all
With his top hat and tails
I'm certain you'll fall
As he always prevails

Yes he is the one
With the sharpest of wit
He'll leave you undone
And leave, lickity-split

He takes what is yours
From regal to rags
Then he's out of the door
With all haste, never lags.

So whom is the flashiest?
I ask you my fellows
The one who is classiest
No doubts, it's Le Bello!


Ok so, this was a bit more fun than I imagined it was going to be.
 
There once was a ninja named Yoshi
Who made all his foes shout "Oh shi-!"
If caught off your guard
You'll look like a tard
When this troll does kick your tushie

(No offense meant with the tard bit, it was all I could think of XD)

How to fight him they all have no clue
At trolling he's quite the guru
He spins and he whirls
He flies and he twirls
You'll rage when you hear the "Namu"

(There are never enough limericks about Yoshimitsu, right?)

At first he was upper mid-tiered
His 22B was a force to be feared
He took a nerf-bat the knees
From that Daishi, the tease
And now poor old Raph has been...sheared? (I got nothing)

He woke to a cold, dark cell
With a cry, he found his daughter was lost
Now he's ready to unleash hell
And reunite with his beloved at any cost

Here comes the ninja named Natsu
She fights with high-flying kung fu
Though she's lacking in wits
And her master's huge tits,
If you don't dodge her bombs then you're through

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This poem is cheesy
And Patty is too

(Couldn't resist)

Eh... I know I butchered the formats on a few of them. I tried! XD
 
The Ever Prideful Leader (Part I)-

A band of thieves they were,
traveling hither and thither,
in seek of plunder here and there.

Their leader ever prideful,
slaughtered his own father,
grew ever spiteful.

In seek of the killer,
he sought the accursed blade,
only to be used as filler.

Clad in bright blue armor,
many a foe fell asunder,
as he became a soul farmer.

He met two young heroes,
in a battle of destiny,
to decide if they were zeroes.

The ever once prideful leader,
only to be swallowed by terror again,
had finally realized the killer.

(I hope you enjoyed that. I will get to part 2 later.)
 
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