BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
I really have no idea what a Kardashian is, but from what I can gather, it's an exercise bike for black guys.
Jokes thread
- Thread starter Blade_edge
- Start date
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Justin Bieber has just vomited on stage, in the middle of a performance.
That concludes it then, she's pregnant.
That concludes it then, she's pregnant.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
If we made soldiers' body armour out of pages of the Qu'ran, the Taliban would be fucked.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Time heals all wounds.
As most video game designers will tell you.
As most video game designers will tell you.
Lochlan
[10] Knight
What do you get when you throw a boulder down a mine?
A Flat Miner!
Like A-Flat Minor... in music. Yes, I know it's bad :P
A Flat Miner!
Like A-Flat Minor... in music. Yes, I know it's bad :P
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
My wife and I have two boys in our house - one is 4 months old, and the other is 21 months old.
We didn't want there to be too big a gap, so my wife had them both by cesarean.
We didn't want there to be too big a gap, so my wife had them both by cesarean.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
What do you get if you're accused of rape and child abuse when you die?
Away with it.
Away with it.
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
What has a pee at the end of a tram?
A tramp.
A tramp.
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
From Ask.com-
"What are those bumps around a woman's nipples?"
Top response-
"It's braille for 'Suck Me!'"
"What are those bumps around a woman's nipples?"
Top response-
"It's braille for 'Suck Me!'"
MorsCodeStutter
[10] Knight
Actually here's the true story:
Six and Seven were best friends at one point. They joined "The Gang", which was its only name when they began, but Six didn't even know if they called it that anymore. I guess it didn't matter what they called it, because they've always done the same thing, and everyone knew who they were.
Everyone in the gang was assigned a number, the lower the number, the higher you were. Six joined before Seven, and Seven was always jealous that he had more authority than he did.
The Gang leader, One, asked them both to do a job for him one night. Two and Three had been violently murdered the night before, and Four claimed that he had seen the person who did it, but he was far too afraid to tell them. Four said that the person came up to him and said "If you ever tell anyone, I'll slit your family's throats". Six and Seven were supposed to go find him, and kill him.
Six had a bad feeling about it, but Seven - being the wild card that he was, accepted for the both of them, and they went out to find them.
The night felt a little darker than usual. They surveyed the area around where Two and Three were murdered, roughing up random people and asking where they could find the person responsible. One guy they spoke to said something very disturbing.
"You want to find the guy who killed your guys? You have to look a little closer than you think" "What the fuck do you mean, old man" exclaimed Seven "I ain't got nothing to lose" said the old man "My family all gone and died a long time ago. You want the right guy? You go find Five."
Six's stomach hit the ground. Seven took a mad dash towards The Gang headquarters. He tried yelling out for him, but Seven was running too fast, and soon he was out of sight.
By the time Six got there, Five was dead. Six could see Seven sitting on top of Five, unloading every bullet from every clip he had into his face. Or at least what was left of it. There was blood everywhere. On the ceiling, on the floor, and especially on Seven. When Seven ran out of bullets he just took the barrel of his gun and kept thrusting it into what was left of his head.
Seven slowly turned his head towards Six and starting laughing. Six backed away slowly, and ran out of The Gang headquarters, never to return.
But Six always remembers that night, and ever since then Six has been afraid of Seven.
Nah I'm kidding, it's cause seven eight nine.
TheGuy
[09] Warrior
Kind of a DBZ abridged ripoff, buuut.
How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
6 million, 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to die. And then the first one burns in the oven.
How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
6 million, 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to die. And then the first one burns in the oven.
TheGuy
[09] Warrior
Also...
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
What's worse than child abduction?
Jokes, apparently.
Jokes, apparently.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Which is more important, length or girth?
Turns out it's consent.
Turns out it's consent.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
MorsCodeStutter
[10] Knight
Who wants to start some anti-jokes? Jokes that are so unfunny, that they manage to be funny?
Such as: what did fly say when he fell into the butter?
"Look, mom, I am a butterfly."
*cue crickets*
Yeah some stupid kid told me that in elementary school. Laughed out of pity, but years later laugh at how lame it was lol.
Such as: what did fly say when he fell into the butter?
"Look, mom, I am a butterfly."
*cue crickets*
Yeah some stupid kid told me that in elementary school. Laughed out of pity, but years later laugh at how lame it was lol.
TheGuy
[09] Warrior
Heeeeeeeellll yeah.
So one lawyer says to the other
"Dude, we're both lawyers"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It does not know what a road is and was simply looking for food.
Why can't Elvis Presley ride on a motorcycle backwards?
Because he's dead.
Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
Got plenty more, but the last one is somewhat of a real joke.
MorsCodeStutter
[10] Knight
TheGuy, you wanna start doing some anti-jokes eh? Let's have at it!
What do you call a black priest?
What do you call a black priest?
A priest, you racist bastard."
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
It's been reported that Al Pacino will play the late Penn State University American football coach Joe Paterno in a new movie.
This'll be Pacino's second film with the lines, "Say hello to my little friend!"
This'll be Pacino's second film with the lines, "Say hello to my little friend!"