Jokes thread

I vote BlackDragon37 as having the best jokes so far.

I love one-liners!!

HRD
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dapinkpwner said:
No that was more like talking shit.
Click to expand...

lighten up francis

$10 to whoever can tell me what movie thats from. Best comedy of the 80's IMO

How do you fit 48 jews in a volkswagon?
2 in the front seat and 46 in the ash tray!!

I shouldnt talk bout jews. My grandpa died in the concentration camps in WWII.
Yeah he got so drunk he fell out the gaurd tower!!

HRD:sc2maxi1:
 
I don't think this thread could... well it could work but... I mean come on there is no such thing as "reading jokes" THEY HAVE TO BE TOLD, this is coming from the joker, but this thread is a good time killer tho =/
 
Whats better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?

Not being fuckin retarded in the first place!!

Oddly enough my sister is actually mentally challenged (as they like to be refered to) But she and I both think this joke is funny!!

HRD
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Your mom is so dumb that she tripped over a cordless phone.

Your mom is so dumb that she got hit by a parked car.

Your mom is so dumb that she stole a free sample.
 
A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician were all in a hotel sleeping when a fire broke out in their respective rooms. The physicist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC, and began working out all sorts of fluid dynamics equations. After a couple minutes, he threw down his pencil, got a graduated cylinder out of his suitcase, and measured out a precise amount of water. He threw it on the fire, extinguishing it, with not a drop wasted, and went back to sleep. The engineer woke up, saw the fire, ran into the bathroom, turned on the faucets full-blast, flooding out the entire apartment, which put out the fire, and went back to sleep. The mathematician woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, began working through theorems, lemmas, hypotheses , you-name-it, and after a few minutes, put down his pencil triumphantly and exclaimed, "I have *proven* that I *can* put the fire out!" He then went back to sleep.
 
Do you have black in your family tree?
no?
I do hes been hanging there for years.


What do you do with a elevator full of pakis?

You play connect the dots.
 
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"


"Yes."


"Oui."


"Sí."


"Ja."
 
what the hell is this!!!!!? what the-what the fuck is wrong with people??? I should make a thread on teaching how to tell jokes... meaning REAL JOKES, but it'll be a video shit cuz writing jokes is just dumb as a bucket of shrimp
 
How many jews can you fit in a car?



Two in the front, three in the back, and about ten million in the ashtray.



Fuck off, that was funny.
 
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