Soul Calibur TV

ShaolinTiger86

[13] Hero
Ever imagine what your favorite Soul Calibur characters would look like in various sitcoms? Well sit back and enjoy reading these episodes of your favorite SC characters in sitcoms.

Laughter can be heard as the opening credits begin to roll. It is later revealed that the laughter is coming from Xiba and Leixia as the Beavis and Butthead theme plays

Xiba and Leixia in "We're your kids!"

At Algol High School, Xiba and Leixia sit in the back of a classroom, continuously laughing. The teacher makes an announcement.

Teacher: Okay, class. Tomorrow is take your child to work day which means for some of you, this will give you an option to skip school. However, should you skip school, you must do a paper on your parents' jobs.

Students: *all moan*

Leixia: Hey Xiba, heh heh, we don't get to go to school tomorrow.

Xiba: Cool, heh heh. I always wanted to skip school, heh heh.

Teacher: Xiba, Leixia, are you two planning on going to work with your parents?

Leixia: Our parents, heh heh? Our parents like busy...and stuff.

Xiba: Yeah, yeah, like neglecting us and crap, heh heh.

Teacher: Neglecting you?

Leixia: Yeah, like, heh heh, they're too busy to be with us.

Teacher: Well, then you may not have to go with your parents then.

Xiba: No way, dude, heh heh, we're gonna like...find our parents and make them love us and crap.

The bell rings and school is dismissed. Xiba and Leixia are walking home

Leixia: Hey Xiba, heh heh, you think we're gonna find our parents?

Xiba: I hope so, so that we can eat all their food.

Leixia: You always think of food, Xiba.

Music Video Break:
LMFAO's Sexy and I Know It is playing on Xiba and Leixia's TV. Both Xiba and Leixia are talking during the video.

Xiba: Hey, Leixia.

Leixia: What?

Xiba: I'm sexy...and I know it, heh heh.

Leixia: Xiba, you're not sexy.

Xiba: Your just jealous that all the girls want me because...I work out, heh heh

Leixia: Xiba, you never worked out in your life.

Xiba: Oh yeah, heh heh, but at least I can wiggle

As the wiggle wiggle part in the song plays, Xiba is seen "wiggling" in front of Leixia. Leixia looks disgusted. The music video ends.

The next day, Xiba and Leixia set out to find their parents.

Leixia: Hey, Xiba, you do think we should find first?

Xiba: Let's find our mom, heh heh.

Leixia: Moms rule.

Xiba and Leixia walk around town looking for their mother. They stop at a strip club where they are stopped by a bouncer.

Bouncer: Hey, you kids need to move along now

Leixia: We're like...trying to find our mother and see if you can let us in?

Xiba: We'll pay you in food, heh heh.

As the bouncer is about to pummel Xiba and Leixia, a woman wearing a black dress with white and gold design, black stockings, her hair in a bun stopped the bouncer.

Woman: Don't hurt those kids!

Bouncer: Sorry, Miss Chai.

Leixia: Miss Chai ?

The woman looks directly at Leixia and then Xiba.

Miss Chai: Oh my.

Xiba then looks at both the woman and Leixia.

Xiba: Whoa, Leixia, you and that woman look alike.

Leixia then looks at the woman and her eyes widened.

Leixia: Whoa, we do look alike. Almost as if we're...

Miss Chai: You know what, I'll take these kids somewhere else.

Bouncer: Fine by me.

As Miss Chai took Xiba and Leixia, Leixia looked at the woman again.

Leixia: Lady, you like so much like me, heh heh.

Miss Chai: Oh god, why aren't you in class?

Leixia: Because it's take your child to work day?

Miss Chai: Look, I have a day off and I and I come across two kids trying to get in a strip club.

Leixia: Are you like...our mom and stuff?

Miss Chai: What?!?

Leixia: We do look alike.

Miss Chai: Oh my god... I would never thought the two of you would actually find me.

Leixia: Where's our dad, heh heh?

Xiba: Yeah, dad, dad, heh heh.

Miss Chai: Oh, you mean...

Miss Chai takes Xiba and Leixia to a wrestling event. There, they see a man wearing a golden phoenix mask, a bronze breastplate, and blue pants wrestling against a much bigger opponent. The bigger opponent manhandles his masked opponent.

Leixia: Whoa, wrestling rules.

Xiba: Take him out, take him out!

Leixia: Which one is our dad?

Miss Chai: The one wearing the mask.

The bigger opponent finishes off the masked man, pinning him for the 3 count.

Announcer: Your winner, The Super Crusher

After the match, Miss Chai, Xiba, and Leixia are backstage looking for the masked individual. They head for his locker room, and see him sitting on a chair, a beer in his hand, and his head lowered.

Miss Chai: Knock knock.

Masked man: Who is it?

Miss Chai: Kilik, you know this is?

Kilik: It's El Kilik now, Xianghua, and why did you bring those kids here?

Xianghua: Well, remember those wild nights we had together?

El Kilik: You don't mean?

Xianghua: Yep, just ran into them today.

Leixia: El Kilik is our dad, cool.

Xiba: When I grow up, heh heh, I wanna be like El Kilik, heh heh.

El Kilik: Yeah, good luck with that, kid. Having to pursue your dream only to get your ass kicked so many times, it won't be so glamorous, isn't it.

Leixia: Can we have your autograph...and stuff?

El Kilik took off his mask. He sighs. He takes out a pen and signs Leixia an autograph.

Leixia: Make it out to me saying you're my dad and all.

El Kilik: Just be glad I'm signing you an autograph, kid.

Xianghua: Kilik.

El Kilik: Okay, okay, damn.

TV Break:
Xiba and Leixia are watching the Food Network. Xiba starts shaking and chanting "Food."

Leixia: Hey, Xiba, it's your favorite channel.

Xiba: Food, food, heh heh heh heh, food, food.

As they are watching the Food Network, ribs are being slow cooked on a grill. Xiba starts drooling.

Leixia: Xiba, are you okay?

Xiba: Food, food, food.

The Food Network then shows salmon being grilled as lemon juices are squirted onto the fish. This causes Xiba to try to eat the TV.

Leixia: Damn it, Xiba. You don't eat the damn TV.

The food network goes off.

The next day, both Xiba and Leixia arrive at Algol High School.

Teacher: Thank you, Patroklos for your paper of your mother being a...stripper cop for justice. Next up, Xiba and Leixia.

Xiba and Leixia head to the podium for their presentation.

Leixia: Our presentation about our time with our mom and dad is that our mom knows some bouncer guy from a strip club that she works at.

Xiba: heh heh, strippers rule, heh heh

Leixia: And our dad is some wannabe wrestler but he's okay, i guess.

Xiba: Wrestlers rule, heh heh, wrestlers.

Teacher: Xiba, Leixia, did you even spend anytime with your parents?

Leixia: Our parents are ashamed of us, that's why they're losers.

Xiba: Heh heh, yeah, their jobs suck because they had us young.

Teacher: Okay, thank you for your honesty, Xiba and Leixia.

Xiba and Leixia continue their nasal laugh as the credits roll.


 

ShaolinTiger86

[13] Hero
Ever imagine what your favorite Soul Calibur characters would look like in various sitcoms? Well sit back and enjoy reading these episodes of your favorite SC characters in sitcoms.

Annoucer: It's time to play everyone's favorite game about their momma's... THE DIRTY DOZENS! And...Here's your host, The Silver Tongue of Perfection, Geo "Le Bello" Dampierre!

Dampierre: Welcome one and all to The Dirty Dozens. I am your host, Geo Dampierre, otherwise known as, Le Bello and on today's show we have a pair of siblings battling another pair of siblings, all in the right to defend the honors of their (dare I say rather hot) mommas. So let's meet our contestants.

Annoucer: Introducing first, representing their mother, Sophitiia, they are Patroklos and Pyrrha Alexandra, ready for action! And their opponents, representing their mother, Xianghua, they are Xiba and Leixia, ready for action!

The audience applauds as both teams make their way to their respective sides.

Dampierre: Well now, now that we have our respective teams, let's go over the rules, shall we? The jokes and insults that each team says must be about the other team's mothers. If your jokes and insults do not work or you run out of time, the other team gets a chance to answer. There are three rounds and ladies go first.

Pyrrha and Leixia walk up to their respective podiums and shake hands.

Dampierre: Okay, ladies, round one... The top 6 answers on the board and the category is "Yo Momma So Fat"...Yo Momma So Fat...

Pyrrha rings in first.

Pyrrha: Yo Momma So Fat, she's...just fat?

Dampierre: Judges? *Buzzer goes off* No, I'm sorry, that's not a harsh diss.

Leixia rings in.

Leixia: Yo Momm So Fat, everytime she step on the scale it reads To Be Continued.

Pyrrha gasps, holding back tears.

Dampierre: Judges? *Ding sound* correct! Leixia, would you like to pass or play.

Leixia: We'll play.

Dampierre: Okay, Xiba, mama so fat.

Xiba: Yo Momma So Fat, every time she turns around it's her birthday.

Dampierre: Show me it's her birthday *Ding sound* correct!

Leixia: Yo Momma So Fat, Her belt size is the equator.

Dampierre: Show me the equator *Ding sound* keep going!

Xiba: Yo Momma So Fat, she wakes up in sections

Dampierre: Show me waking up in sections *Ding Sound* yes!

Leixia: Yo Momma So Fat, this is how she hopscotch...Canada, Japan, Russia, China.

Dampierre: Show me hopscotching countries *ding sound* one more left!

Xiba: Yo Momma So Fat, The cows had to squeeze her tits for milk.

Dampierre: Show me squeezing tits for milk *ding sound* you got them all!

Xiba and Leixia high five each other.

Dampierre: Great work, Xiba and Leixia. You cleared that board like it was nothing. Patroklos, Pyrrha, you can still make a comeback.

Pyrrha is wiping tears from her eyes while Patroklos looks down on both Xiba and Leixia in disgust.

Dampierre: Ok, round two. top five answers on the board and the category is "Momma So Ratchet"

Patroklos and Xiba walk to their respective podiums. Xiba extends his hand for a shake but Patroklos just scoffs at him.

Dampierre: "Yo Momma So Ratchet"

Patroklos rings in first

Patroklos: Yo Momma So Ratchet, she know nothing about justice

Dampierre: Judges? *buzzer sounds* No, no no.

Xiba rings in.

Xiba: Yo Momma So Ratchet, she eats out of a carnival dumpster.

Dampierre: Judges? *ding sound* correct! Xiba, pass or play?

Xiba looks back at Leixia, who's telling him to play.

Xiba: We'll play.

Dampierre: Leixia, Momma So Ratchet.

Leixia: Yo Momma So Ratchet, she has cockroaches for relatives.

Dampierre: Show me cockroaches as relatives *ding sound* correct!

Xiba: Yo Momma So Ratchet, not even the rats would have a one night stand at her place

Dampierre: Show me dirty one night stand *ding sound* yes!

Leixia: Yo Momma So Ratchet, her pimp is the Orkin Man

Dampierre: Ooh, show me Orkin Man *ding sound* all right!

Xiba: Yo Momma So Ratchet, she takes her baths in raw sewage.

Dampierre: Eew but, show me raw sewage bath *ding sound* yes! Xiba and Leixia are running away with this one. Xianghua would be so proud.

Xiba and Leixia brofist each other while Patroklos scowls and Pyrrha, crying already is about to turn into Omega Pyrrha.

Dampierre: Round three and it is anyone's game. "Yo Momma So Slutty"

Pyrrha and Xiba head to their podiums. Pyrrha has a pissed off look on her face.

Dampierre: Yo Momma So Slutty.

Pyrrha rings in first.

Pyrrha: Yo Momma So Slutty, your sister inherited the whore genes from her.

Dampierre: Okay...Show me whore genes *ding sound* Alright

Xiba: Yo Momma So Slutty, You'll probably end up dressing like her.

Dampierre: Show me like mother, like daughter *ding sound* okay. Pyrrha, pass or play

Pyrrha: Let's play, bitch!

Dampierre: Okay, Patroklos, Momma So Slutty

Patroklos: Yo Momma So Slutty, she went into men's restroom looking for her baby daddy.

Dampierre: Show me searching for baby daddy *ding sound* all right!

Pyrrha: Yo Momma So Slutty, the only position she's good at is when she's on her back.

Dampierre: *adjusting his collar* well now, show me on her back *ding sound* okay! Patroklos, one more yo momma diss that has to sound good and you win, if not Xiba and Leixia can steal for the win.

Patroklos: Yo Momma So Slutty, she applied to be a stripper for justice and failed.

Dampierre: Judges *buzzer goes off* no, my friend, that means Xiba and Leixia gets the steal and possibly the win. Momma So Slutty...

Xiba and Leixia are thinking this over. Xiba is holding his stomach, indicating that he is hungry but Leixia tells him to hold on.

Leixia: Yo Momma So Slutty, when Santa Claus said HO HO HO! he was talking about your momma.

Dampierre: Show me Santa Claus coming on moms *ding sound* Ya did it, ya did it! Leixia and Xiba are today's winners and have successfully defended Xianghua's honor.

Patroklos and Pyrrha look upset. Pyrrha turns into Omega Pyrrha and starts destroying the entire set.

Dampierre: That's all the time we have for The Dirty Dozens, see ya next time where it can only happen to yo momma.
 

ShaolinTiger86

[13] Hero
Ever imagine what your favorite Soul Calibur characters would look like in various sitcoms? Well sit back and enjoy reading these episodes of your favorite SC characters in sitcoms.

And now, Soul Calibur TV presents its first ever Spanish Soap Opera/Novela, Lagrimas del Alma


*Spanish Soap Opera/Novela music begins playing*

Kilik: Xianghua, mi amor. Estoy en casa.

Xianghua: Ooh, Kilik, mi amor *kiss*. Oh, como me has echo mucha falta

Kilik and Xianghua look lovingly into each others' eyes when they are interrupted by the arrival of Maxi

Maxi: Hola, mis amigos.

Kilik: Maxi, mi amigo.

Maxi walks past Kilik and makes his way towards Xianghua.

Maxi: Hola...Xianghua *passionately kisses Xianghua*

Kilik: Maxi, mi amigo. Que hasta haciendo

Maxi slyly smirks at Kilik as the music becomes more dramatic.

Kilik: Que hasta haciendo con mi esposa?

Maxi: Tu...esposa? *laughs* Su esposa y yo somos mas que amigos. *firmly grabs Xianghua's butt*

Kilik *heavily breathing and holding back tears* Maxi, hijo de puta.

Kilik goes to grab a knife, and points it at Maxi, who is shielding himself behind Xianghua.

Kilik: Como se atreven a dormir con mi propia esposa? Y ahora te escondes detras el ella?

As Kilik raises the knife to attack Maxi, a knock on the door interrupts him. Kilik walks backwards to the door, not taking his eyes off of Maxi and Xianghua. He carefully opens the door and sees Xiba and Leixia.

Xiba and Leixia: Papa, mama, tio Maxi!

Kilik: Oh, mi hijo y hija.

Leixia: Papa, Por que tiene ese cuchillo?

Kilik looks around, hoping to come up with an answer. He looks at Xianghua, then Maxi, and finally he came up with an answer.

Kilik: Ah, yo estaba a punto de hacer la cena esta noche.

Xiba: La cena, mi tengo mucha hambre

Leixia: Xiba, usted acaba de comer, que guarro.

Xianghua: Corre por los ninos, usted tiene que hacer la tarea.

Xiba and Leixia: Si, mama!

Kilik, Xianghua, and Maxi watch as Xiba and Leixia run upstairs to their rooms to do their homework. Kilik turns his attention to Maxi as he points his knife at him.

Kilik: Sera mejor que con mucho gusto a mis ninos que nos interrumpe o me he recorrio con este cuchillo!

Maxi: sus ninos?

Kilik: Si, mis ninos!

Kilik then looks at Xianghua, who is rubbing her arm and looking at the floor.

Kilik: Xianghua, hay algo que debo saber?

Xianghua: *sniffling and holding back tears* Kilik, yo no queria decirte esto, pero Leixia no es su hija.

*Dramatic chord followed by intense, dramatic music*

Kilik *heavily breathes and has a frantic look on his face* Xianghua, por que?

Xianghua: Debido a que se habian ido por tanto tiempo que tuve un romance con el vecino.

Kilik: *gasp* No me refiero a...Senor Yun-Seong?

Xianghua: *falls to her knees, her face covered in her hands, sobbing* Kilik, lo siento. Lo siento.

Kilik: Y Xiba? Es mi hijo?

Xianghua: *sniffs* Xiba es su hijo.

A knock on the door interrupts the conversation. Kilik walks to the door and sees Senor Yun-Seong.

Yun-Seong: Hola, mis amigos.

Kilik: Hijo de puta, te voy a matar!

Xianghua: Kilik, no!

Kilik tackles Yun-Seong outside and engages in a fist fight.

Xianghua: Kilik, alto, alto!

Maxi manages to break up the fight, causing Xianghua to collapse to her knees again and start crying.

Yun-Seong: Que es eso todo?

Kilik: Usted...Te acostate con mi esposa. Y una hija que no saben nada de.

Yun-Seong: *gasp* Fue solo una noche de romanticismo, que le dijo que estaba en un viaje de negocios. Lo siento, Kilik, lo siento

Kilik: *turns to Maxi* Y mi amigo, tambien se acosto con mi esposa? Despues vino a mi llorando despues de que su esposa murio?

Before Maxi could answer Kilik, a red convertible pulls up at Kilik and Xianghua's house. A blonde haired woman wearing a red dress approached Maxi and slapped him.

Woman: Hijo de puta, Me voy a casa de mi madre durante dos semanas y ya esta correindo con mujeres de mala vida?

Maxi: Lo siento, Setsuka.

Setsuka slaps Maxi again, drags him by his ear and heads for the convertible.

Kilik then turns his attention to Xianghua.

Kilik: Y usted, mi esposa. Me has mentido acerca de las minas son nuestras hijas y la prostucion a ti mismo?

Xianghua slowly walks towards Kilik, trying to console him but he pushes her away.

Kilik: No, Xianghua. No! *collapses on his knees and begins sobbing*

Xianghua: *bottom lip quivers and eventually drops to her knees and sobs, holding Kilik's hand tightly*

This has been Soul Calibur TV's first Spanish Soap Opera/Novela, Lagrimas Del Alma.



 

ShaolinTiger86

[13] Hero
Ever imagine what your favorite Soul Calibur characters would look like in various sitcoms? Well sit back and enjoy reading these episodes of your favorite SC characters in sitcoms.

"Keeping Up With The Alexandras"

Inside the Alexandra House, we see Cassandra lounging poolside, Patroklos playing on an XBOX360, and Sophitia pulling up to her house in a white sports car. Sophitia gets out of her car and is carrying bags, apparently from shopping at the mall.

Sophitia- Interview
"I just got back from the mall, buying expensive clothes, jewelry, and absolutely nothing for Cassandra when I see Patroklos in his boxers, playing XBOX360"

Sophitia: "Patroklos, Patroklos!"

Patroklos: " Mom, what the hell do you want?"

Sophitia: "Watch your mouth and come over here! Get these bags for me!"

Patroklos: "Ah, geez, Mom, I'm about to score the last field goal on Madden."

Sophitia: "Don't make me have to force you into getting a job."

Patroklos pauses his game, gets off the couch and heads for Sophitia as he took the bags from his mother.

Sophitia- Interview
"When it comes to Patroklos, I swear sometimes I raised a loser in my son."

Sophitia: "Where is your sister?"

Patroklos: "She's upstairs acting all emo and crap."

Sophitia: "She's going through some traumatic phases in her life."

Patroklos: "Yeah, if you call kissing girls and cutting yourself a phase."

Patroklos - Interview
"Pyrrha has some psychological issues from when she thought that she was sexually harassed as a child to claiming she's a lesbian but i think she would've been a lesbian...FOR JUSTICE!"

Inside Pyrrha's room, the lights are turned off, windows draped with black cloth while Marilyn Manson's The Dope Show is playing. Pyrrha is rocking back and forth in a fetal position, singing the lyrics. Patroklos bangs on her door.

Patroklos: "Hey, open the door."

Pyrrha: "I'm not speaking to you!"

Patroklos: "I'll tell mom that you kiss that girl, Tira, the other day."

Pyrrha: "Okay, okay, please don't tell. I'm sorry."

Pyrrha, dressed in gothic attire, opens the door and sees Patroklos with shopping mall bags in his hands.

Patroklos: "Mom wants you to help her get the shopping bags she got from the mall."

Pyrrha: "Okay, but first..."

Pyrrha turns up her CD Player volume to 11 and aggressively headbangs as Patroklos looks at her strangely.

Patroklos- Interview
"My sister sometimes is weird but only if was she was weird...FOR JUSTICE!"

At the pool, we see Cassandra, sunbathing in pink bikini, when her cell phone rings. She answers.

Cassandra: "Hello... Oh hey, baby!"

Cassandra- Interview
"I get a call on my cell phone and it's my boyfriend, Zasalamel."

Cassandra: "When are you coming over? Tonight? Oh that's great!"

Cassandra - Interview
"Zasalamel and I have been going out for about a year and everyone in my family doesn't believe in my relationship."

Sophitia: "Cassandra, get your fat ass in here!"

Cassandra: "What do you want, Sophitia?"

Sophitia: "Take a look at the dress I'm wearing!"

Cassandra: "Geez, okay! You probably look slutty in it as you always do."

Inside the house, Cassandra, with a towel wrapped around her waist, heads to the living room where Sophitia, dressed in her Soul Calibur 4 1p with stripper heels is waiting for her.

Cassandra- Interview
"I enter the house and the first thing I see is Sophitia, in a transparent, barely there, white dress, with stripper heels on."

Cassandra: "You...look so slutty, Sophitia."

Sophitia: "At least I look hotter than you."

Cassandra: "Whatever, Sophitia."

Sophita: "Say, when is your...boyfriend coming over *snickers*"

Cassandra: "He's coming over...and we're gonna make out all night long."

Patroklos: "Pfft, speaking of making out..."

The camera pans away from Patroklos and sees Pyrrha making out with Tira.

Cassandra: "How did she get in here?"

Pyrrha-Interview
"No one believes my relationship with Tira is serious...we're really serious...don't look at me like that--why are you all laughing at me *sniffles, holding back tears* I'll show you all."

Tira: "Hi ya, toots." *smacks Sophitia on the bum*

Cassandra: "You still haven't answered my question, you!"

Tira: "About me swinging through? You should put a lock on your door, this place reminds me of a brothel."

Cassandra: "A brothel? No one talks about my house like tha--"

Sophitia: "Cassandra? We discussed about who's house this is."

Cassandra: "It's your house, Sophitia... *mumbles to herself* when I have to pay the bills."

Sophitia: "What was that Cassandra?"

Cassandra: "Nothing, Sophitia."

Pyrrha: "Mom, Tira and I are a couple and we're serious!"

Sophitia: "Hey, I'll believe that over Cassandra and her...relationship."

Pyrrha and Tira start making out, while Patroklos sits back and smiles in pleasure

Sophitia: "See Patroklos, why aren't you in a relationship?"

The camera pans to Patroklos. He looks at the camera with a look of shock, surprise, and confusion and back at Sophitia.

Patroklos: "I...uh...uh...look, FOR JUSTICE!"

Patroklos grabs the car keys, ran out of the house, got into his car and drove off.

Cassandra: "...What was that all about?"

Later that evening, Cassandra is sitting on the couch, playing Patroklos' XBOX360 and getting beaten in an online Call of Duty game when a knock on the door catches her attention.

Cassandra-Interview
"I'm playing on my douchey nephew's XBOX360 when I hear a knock on the door."

Cassandra opens the door and its Zasalamel.

Cassandra: "Oh my god, you made it, you made it!"

Zasalamel: "So glad to see you."

Cassandra tries to lean in for a kiss but Zasalamel walks past her.

Cassandra: "Hey!"

Cassandra- Interview
"Zasalamel is here and I stil have feelings for him...he's still my boyfriend, you jerks!"

Zasalamel sits on the couch and is playing XBOX360. Cassandra sits next to him, flirting with him.

Zasalamel: "What are you doing?"

Cassandra: "Just wanting to flirt with my one and only."

Zasalamel: "Uh...Cassandra, I got something to tell you."

Cassandra: "Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, you're actually gonna propose to me?"

Zasalamel: "Cassandra..."

Cassandra: "Yes, Zasalamel, yes my love."

Cassandra- Interview
"I can't believe that Zasalamel has something to tell me and I hope its the words I've been wanting to hear."

Zasalamel: "I've been sleeping with your sister."

The camera zoomed in on Cassandra's shocked expression as she looked at Zasalamel. Cassandra yelled as a shot of the Alexandra House is shown.

Inside the house:

Cassandra: You've been sleeping with Sophitia?!"

Sophitia walks down the stairs and heads for the living room.

Sophitia: "What's going on?"

Cassandra: "You man-stealing whore!"

Cassandra pounces on Sophitia as the sisters engage in a catfight. Tira and Pyrrha also come down from Pyrrha's room and see Cassandra and Sophitia pulling on each other's hair and throwing themselves on the ground.

Pyrrha-Interview
"Tira and I were having...Happy Time when we were interrupted by my Mother and Aunt Cassandra rolling on the ground and fighting each other."

As Cassandra and Sophitia are still fighting, Zasalamel looks at Tira and makes a move on her.

Zasalamel: "Hey baby, you look like you got some freak in you."

Tira: "Mmph, there's more than a little freak in me as there is in you, toots."

Zasalamel and Tira start making out as Pyrrha starts freaking out and turns into Omega Pyrrha, yelling and tearing things up in the house as the show ends.
 

Xianghuafan85

[08] Mercenary
Ladies and Gentlemen I am Back with a brand new show I hope you guys like it.

so here is a oldie but a goodie Three's Company.


Ever imagine what your favorite Soul Calibur characters would look like in various sitcoms? Well sit back and enjoy reading these episodes of your favorite SC characters in sitcoms.
Let’s tune into Three’s Company: Daddy’s Vist
Starring
Seong Mi-na (Mina)
Talim: room mate
Yun-Seong: new roommate
Han-Myeong: Mina’s dad
Samantha: Yun-Seong’s date
Three’s Company theme song plays
The story starts on a typical Saturday morning Talim who is wearing a blue t shirt and grey pants is lounging on the couch reading a book, Mina in a pink tank top and white shorts was dancing to some music when the phone rings:
Mina and Talim (together): I’ll get it
Mina gets the phone first then playfully sticks her tongue out
Mina: Hello, oh hi daddy!
Han-myeong: Mina, how is my little girl doing?
Mina: I am fine daddy, I miss you
Han-Myeong: I miss you too baby girl, I am coming over to visit you and your roommates I hope there are no boys over.
Mina: (stutters) B-Boys? So what time are you coming?
Han-Myeong: in two hours see you then.
Mina: ok Daddy
Mina hung up the phone, and then frantically started to clean up.
Talim: Uh Mina, what are you doing?
Mina: My overprotected Father is coming to visit and I want everything to be perfect.
Talim: (lounging back on the couch) So, I taken your father don’t know about Yun-Seong.
Mina: Oh my god! I almost forgot! (Looks at Talim)Well, are you going to give me a hand?
Talim: (claps sarcastically) there you go.
Mina: ugh! You are so helpless! Please help me clean up
Talim: (groans) fine I will help you
The ladies quickly start to clean up, enter Yun-Seong who is wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt and white slacks.
Yun-Seong: what on earth is going on here? Why are you cleaning up?
Talim: Mina’s Dad is coming over to see her and he’s…
(The doorbell rings)
Mina: He’s here! (She pulls Yun-Seong in to his room, Talim gets the door)
Talim: Hello may I help you?
Han-Myeong: (in a suit) is Mina, there?
Mina: Daddy you’re here early (runs up to him and gives him a hug)
Han-Myeong: I decided to take an earlier flight, I miss you so much baby girl
Mina: Daddy, this is my roommate Talim
Talim: Please to meet you sir.
Han-Myeong: (shakes Talim’s hand) nice to meet you, Mina, I thought you have two roommates.
Mina: Um…Dad….
(The doorbell rings Mina answers the door and a sexy blonde arrives at the door)
Samantha: (with a perky voice) Hi, is Yun-Seong is home?
Han-Myeong gives his daughter a stern look: who is Yun-Seong?
Talim: he is our roommate.
Yun-Seong (leaves the room to go out on his date): Just a second my pet
Han-Myeong: Roommate? A MALE roommate! Are you girls shacking up with him
Mina grabs Yun-Seong
Mina: yes we have a male roommate and he’s gay!
Han-Myeong: Gay?!
Yun-Seong: Gay?! I am not –
Mina covers his mouth
Mina: He’s not interested in women that’s what he is saying. (Chuckles nervorsly)
Han-Myeong: ok… where is the bathroom?
Talim: in the hall way on your right.
Mina’s Dad goes to the bathroom, while Yun-Seong’s date was appalled on his sexuality
Samantha: Yun- Seong, you told me you were straight and the fact that you live with two women does not sit right with me, I am out of here!
Yun-Seong runs out to reason with his date but she was already gone.
Yun-Seong: Damn, I hope you are happy Mina, for breaking up my date. And what make you think that I am gay?
Mina: listen, my overprotected father is here and I told him I have two roommates so I lied to say that you were gay.
Enter Han-Myeong
Han-Myeong: we baby girl I better get going Talim, It is nice to meet you and Yun-Seong I fully respect you as a homosexual.
Yun-Seong: I’m Not gay!
Han-Myeong: I don’t know, you pretty much dress the part.
The cast begins to laugh and freezes as the credits begin rolls and the Three’s company theme plays.
 

Xianghuafan85

[08] Mercenary
Editor's note For Three's Company: Let me clear off one major detail, Mina's Dad is very overprotected and having a male roommate makes him feel unconformable, so upon to his visit, Mina had LIED about Yun-Seong's sexuality to her dad. so technically Yun-Seong is straight. I hope this clears things up.
 

Xianghuafan85

[08] Mercenary
Love Line with Dr. Ivy Valentine

Ever imagine what your favorite Soul Calibur characters would look like in various sitcoms? Well sit back and enjoy reading these episodes of your favorite SC characters in sitcoms.

Producer: Alright everyone you ask for her and I am giving you more of her everybody’s favorite Valentine, Dr. Ivy!
Last time we gave Ivy a show it really didn’t go very well with the censors, what you expect in a show that is called the school of sex. So after months of negotiations and idle threats, we finally come to a decision to give Ivy her own new show Love line: an advice show where Ivy can give couples advice on love and relationships…We cannot promise the censors if she will keep it clean or not… So let me save face and throw a disclaimer: this show is not suitable for children 18 and under. So on with the show

Audience begins to clap Ivy stands on stage in a sexy dress with a dangerously high split.

Ivy (in a seductive voice): Hello and welcome to Love line where you the viewer get a chance to call me about love and relationships. Today’s topic is How to bring the spark back in a relationship. As crazy as it sounds that love is very complicated, so If you or your lover have and questions please call me or send me a e-mail. We go to someone in the audience. So what is your question Miss?
Andrea: Dr. Ivy, I wanted to know how to put the zest into my marriage?
Dr. Ivy: Like how?
Andrea: My Husband has a thing for being submissive in the bedroom. He wanted me to dress up in skin tight clothing and spank him. And I am a little nervous on performing it.
Dr. Ivy: I see, you just need to take control try out his fantasy, you just might like it. I can teach you a few techniques after the show. Living out your partner’s fantasies, this topic leads to one of my rules. Give the man what he wants you would be pleasantly surprised on what he likes. I see we got Rothion on the line; you’re on the air with Dr. Ivy, what is your romantic issue?
Rothion: Hi Dr. Ivy I am having some Intimate issues with my wife.
Dr. Ivy: (coos lays on her lounge chair) oh do tell….
Rothion: She is never home; she is always on a journey looking for some dumb sword, where all the while I am home playing housewife taking care the house and the kids. I want her to play with my sword for once!
Dr. Ivy: sounds like she has neglected your needs, so when your wife is coming back to this so-called journey? And what is your wife’s name?
Rothion: Sophitia will be home in two hours…I hope
Dr. Ivy: Here is what I want you to do, send your children to your sister-in-law’s place wait for Sophitia to come home and when she do come home take her in the bedroom and wear her out! That is your mission for today do you understand?
Rothion: oh yes, thank you Dr. Ivy. (Hangs up the phone)
Dr. Ivy: Now I heard of men on not coming home for days at a time but this is insane. Sometimes your personal issues can get in the way of marital bliss. We got one last call, Caller you are on the air with Dr. Ivy, what is your romantic issue?
Xianghua: Hi Dr. Ivy, My name is Xianghua, first time caller, long time viewer and I am calling today because I have some major romantic issues with this attractive guy I really like.
Dr. Ivy is that so, Xianghua please do tell.
Xianghua: well, I have been with Kilik for over a year and he won’t pay attention to me, I feel like I am losing my fire what should I do?
Dr. Ivy: so there is something missing in your love life, what the two of you need to do is find some common ground.
Xianghua: Actually, I want to intimate with him, I want him since the day I meet him. With his smile, sexy abs, his tight firm behind. And every night I want to ride his long, hard, powerful….
Dr. Ivy: Hey, Hey Hey! Try not to get too freaky on this show because this is an advice show not a porn show so watch your language. Now I see the issue, you are sexually frustrated
Xianghua: yes, what should I do?
Dr. Ivy: ok, is Kilik is near you?
Xianghua: yes… (kilik is taking in the background)
Kilik: who are you talking to?
Xianghua: Be quiet, I am on the phone. (Listening on the phone)
Dr. Ivy: I got two words for you; be aggressive! Trust me Aquarius love that kinky stuff…
Xianghua: ok (Kilik begins to kiss her neck and wraps his arms around her next thing she know he begins to make out with her)
Dr. Ivy: You must tell Kilik how you really feel….
(Ivy and the studio audience hearing Kilik and Xianghua moaning and kissing)
Dr. Ivy: well I guess the advice have work, good luck you two (hangs up the phone)
Dr. Ivy: well that wraps up our show tonight, this is Dr. Ivy Valentine saying, ‘”may your love life can a passionate one.” Good night everyone!

Audience claps as the credits roll.

Director: (shouts) Cut! Print! (gives Ivy a hug) great job Ivy.
Dr. Ivy: that was great not an interruption in sight.
Director: but one question come into my mind, how did the producer gave you this show?
Dr. Ivy: The censors and I have come to a mutual understanding. (Chuckles)

Backstage, the censors we gagged and tied up

Producer: Stay tuned for another show on Soul Calibur TV.
 

Pyrrus

[14] Master
Love Line with Dr. Ivy Valentine

Ever imagine what your favorite Soul Calibur characters would look like in various sitcoms? Well sit back and enjoy reading these episodes of your favorite SC characters in sitcoms.

Producer: Alright everyone you ask for her and I am giving you more of her everybody’s favorite Valentine, Dr. Ivy!
Last time we gave Ivy a show it really didn’t go very well with the censors, what you expect in a show that is called the school of sex. So after months of negotiations and idle threats, we finally come to a decision to give Ivy her own new show Love line: an advice show where Ivy can give couples advice on love and relationships…We cannot promise the censors if she will keep it clean or not… So let me save face and throw a disclaimer: this show is not suitable for children 18 and under. So on with the show

Audience begins to clap Ivy stands on stage in a sexy dress with a dangerously high split.

Ivy (in a seductive voice): Hello and welcome to Love line where you the viewer get a chance to call me about love and relationships. Today’s topic is How to bring the spark back in a relationship. As crazy as it sounds that love is very complicated, so If you or your lover have and questions please call me or send me a e-mail. We go to someone in the audience. So what is your question Miss?
Andrea: Dr. Ivy, I wanted to know how to put the zest into my marriage?
Dr. Ivy: Like how?
Andrea: My Husband has a thing for being submissive in the bedroom. He wanted me to dress up in skin tight clothing and spank him. And I am a little nervous on performing it.
Dr. Ivy: I see, you just need to take control try out his fantasy, you just might like it. I can teach you a few techniques after the show. Living out your partner’s fantasies, this topic leads to one of my rules. Give the man what he wants you would be pleasantly surprised on what he likes. I see we got Rothion on the line; you’re on the air with Dr. Ivy, what is your romantic issue?
Rothion: Hi Dr. Ivy I am having some Intimate issues with my wife.
Dr. Ivy: (coos lays on her lounge chair) oh do tell….
Rothion: She is never home; she is always on a journey looking for some dumb sword, where all the while I am home playing housewife taking care the house and the kids. I want her to play with my sword for once!
Dr. Ivy: sounds like she has neglected your needs, so when your wife is coming back to this so-called journey? And what is your wife’s name?
Rothion: Sophitia will be home in two hours…I hope
Dr. Ivy: Here is what I want you to do, send your children to your sister-in-law’s place wait for Sophitia to come home and when she do come home take her in the bedroom and wear her out! That is your mission for today do you understand?
Rothion: oh yes, thank you Dr. Ivy. (Hangs up the phone)
Dr. Ivy: Now I heard of men on not coming home for days at a time but this is insane. Sometimes your personal issues can get in the way of marital bliss. We got one last call, Caller you are on the air with Dr. Ivy, what is your romantic issue?
Xianghua: Hi Dr. Ivy, My name is Xianghua, first time caller, long time viewer and I am calling today because I have some major romantic issues with this attractive guy I really like.
Dr. Ivy is that so, Xianghua please do tell.
Xianghua: well, I have been with Kilik for over a year and he won’t pay attention to me, I feel like I am losing my fire what should I do?
Dr. Ivy: so there is something missing in your love life, what the two of you need to do is find some common ground.
Xianghua: Actually, I want to intimate with him, I want him since the day I meet him. With his smile, sexy abs, his tight firm behind. And every night I want to ride his long, hard, powerful….
Dr. Ivy: Hey, Hey Hey! Try not to get too freaky on this show because this is an advice show not a porn show so watch your language. Now I see the issue, you are sexually frustrated
Xianghua: yes, what should I do?
Dr. Ivy: ok, is Kilik is near you?
Xianghua: yes… (kilik is taking in the background)
Kilik: who are you talking to?
Xianghua: Be quiet, I am on the phone. (Listening on the phone)
Dr. Ivy: I got two words for you; be aggressive! Trust me Aquarius love that kinky stuff…
Xianghua: ok (Kilik begins to kiss her neck and wraps his arms around her next thing she know he begins to make out with her)
Dr. Ivy: You must tell Kilik how you really feel….
(Ivy and the studio audience hearing Kilik and Xianghua moaning and kissing)
Dr. Ivy: well I guess the advice have work, good luck you two (hangs up the phone)
Dr. Ivy: well that wraps up our show tonight, this is Dr. Ivy Valentine saying, ‘”may your love life can a passionate one.” Good night everyone!

Audience claps as the credits roll.

Director: (shouts) Cut! Print! (gives Ivy a hug) great job Ivy.
Dr. Ivy: that was great not an interruption in sight.
Director: but one question come into my mind, how did the producer gave you this show?
Dr. Ivy: The censors and I have come to a mutual understanding. (Chuckles)

Backstage, the censors we gagged and tied up

Producer: Stay tuned for another show on Soul Calibur TV.
Very good :D

Whats funny is that Kilik really is an Aquarius and Xianghua is an Aries xD
Theyre a perfect match :D
 

Xianghuafan85

[08] Mercenary
Hey there Soul Calibur TV fans! I have BIG announcement to share with you, it is so good, that I just can't even hold in... we got three more episodes until our season finale!!! YAY! Our Season finale will Be our first ever awards show! and this is where you the fans come in for our finale. me and ShaolinTiger86 are coming up with the categories and you the fans get to choose the winner. I will tell you more details on our finale in a separate post and date so we will keep you posted. we already got season 2 all lined up once we come back from summer break season 2 will be up and running. Also there will be a viewer’s choice section by the end of this year so enjoy these four episodes and have a safe summer and we will see you in the fall.
Love,
Xianghuafan85