The flawed concept of "Love".

Mitalius

Mitalius

BoW To MeH
Some of you may have been weary about this for some time, but since this has been on my mind for about two years, I feel as if I need to discuss/vent about it. As children in our early years, we've observed love in various Disney cartoons/fairy tales as told, where this "handsome" prince would rescue, or find this pretty princess from any form of distress. At the blink of an eye, they immediately fall in love get married shortly afterwards. Now, in some cases, I'm statistically positive something like this may have happened somewhere in the real world and created a positive outcome, but the known fact that relationships made out of the blue can make dysfunctions in them, resulting in divorces, domestic disturbances, and in some cases, death. Knowing these negative side effects resulting from building a relationship with someone unknown to another, it is the idea of that concept of love is particularly flawed in my opinion.
-How is this concept flawed?

Well, let's put it this way. Some of you may be in High school/College and had relationships with woman. As for me observing people's relationship, I have observed some of their relationships appears to be functional and normal, but then some time later they hate each other now, particularly the girl hating on the guy that which he doesn't seem to really care. . Although their reasons were unknown to me, this has me come to thinking of the most common causes for a relationship to fall. "That guy obviously did something to hurt her, or perhaps she was missing something from him that's causing her to ditch him". So I conclude that their love was merely physical attraction, and with the lack of support or actual care for one another, because most of the time that's the case. So I conclude with this, that seeing someone who is physically intriguing to one's eye, urging to build a relationship, is a bit flawed seeing as it creates dysfunctions in it.

I am free to hear other's opinions of this topic, and I'm open to any criticism if needed.
 
Oh boy. You can't really understand love without having been there and done that.

No amount of college, study or observation can replace experience in this case. When you see a couple swearing at each other, screaming at the top of their lungs, threatening to kill one another, take a step back, take a deep breath, and realize that this is actually quite normal for most people.

When people are emotional they often say things they don't really mean. When a relationship has reached the point where both people openly scream at one another, this isn't necessarily failure, but could be evolution. It simply means they have gotten past the honeymoon phase, where things are no longer based on roses and chocolate and more based on real, day to day things.

Most young people bounce from partner to partner frivolously because they can't handle relationships once is goes past the honeymoon phase. Most of them don't really know what it means to "settle down". Or sometimes when the sex becomes slightly less exiting because you've had sex with them 100 times, they assume "things just didn't work out".

Also, there is a damn good reason why long-term married couples don't have sex as often as they used to. Do you have any idea how boring it would get after having daily sex for months, years even? They space it out as to not get bored.

Now, if all of this sounds unbearable, then perhaps marriage is not for you. The "love" that Hollywood tries to portray is pure 100% BULLSHIT.

When I see a couple fighting, I just walk away. I don't judge them for it, nor do I draw any conclusions from it. Know why? Cas' I've been married for 15 years and have a 16 year old son that's why :)
 
My reasons as to why love is flawed

Someone in the relationship can lie, cheat, steal, or leave at any time.

With our current social climate, people are rarely capable of monogamy, staying in a relationship, or even forming one in the first place.

Also, honesty isn't always the best policy. People can say that you can tell them anything and they won't hold anything against you but we all know that once you are made aware of something, it will always be in your mind.

Lastly, people are more likely to say why they can't rather than why they can when it comes to relationships.
 
CaptainHook said:
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You misunderstand me. As I've suggested in this topic, relationships are often created out of the blue and both partners expect everything to go happy go lucky. This has often reflected to princess stories, but instead, they run into problems they cannot fix, and then immediately give up. My main point is love isn't about sex and kissies.

EDIT: I wish to know if arguments and screaming at each others throats and insulting each other, EVERYDAY, RARELY SAYING ANYTHING NICE, FOR OVER 20 YEARS is normal? If it is, then damn marriage ISN'T for me.
 
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Forgive me if I misread you, but I never meant to imply that fighting 24/7 is normal. Some fighting, even if extreme, IS normal
 
Mitalius said:
EDIT: I wish to know if arguments and screaming at each others throats and insulting each other, EVERYDAY, RARELY SAYING ANYTHING NICE, FOR OVER 20 YEARS is normal? If it is, then damn marriage ISN'T for me.
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No and it really shouldn't be anyway. imho
EDIT: To elaborate, making snide comments and messing around on occasion is fine but what you described sound really dysfunctional and mismatched. Y'know?
P.S. If you marry, GET A PRENUP. I cannot stress this enough. If the other person has a problem with it up front, they expect things to fail and for you to lose half your shit.
 
Don't get married unless you are ABSOLUTELY SURE that he/she is the 'one' for you.

Also, being sick to death of dating helps the decision making. I settled down because I was tired of the BS with dating.
 
with the same person for years on end, yeah definitely not boring :)

images (4).jpg

This is what a couple looks like after 20+ years. Remind me again why anyone would be so eager to have daily sex once you start looking like these 2.

You know.... no. Not this shit again bro. All you do is go around constantly looking for arguments, start flame wars, and endlessly repeat with your lame attempts at counter arguments and counter-counter arguments into infinity and beyond. This is stopping today. You sir have earned the title of being the first person on this site that goes to my ignore list! Congratulations for being annoying!
 
CaptainHook said:
Also, there is a damn good reason why long-term married couples don't have sex as often as they used to. Do you have any idea how boring it would get after having daily sex for months, years even?
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SEX.... BORING?? Lol! That's what "Party Stores" are for...

Sex for months and years? Sounds HORRIBLE!!

And old people aren't going to get it on as much because......
1) they're old, "things" don't work like they used to!
2) Those wrinkles are in all the wrong places! xD

EDIT: Answer to the topic: "That's love... That's just life!"
 
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Ishimaru Jinrai said:
SEX.... BORING?? Lol! That's what "Party Stores" are for...

Sex for months and years? Sounds HORRIBLE!!

And old people aren't going to get it on as much because......
1) they're old, "things" don't work like they used to!
2) Those wrinkles are in all the wrong places! xD

EDIT: Answer to the topic: "That's love... That's just life!"
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How did my argument of love's concept become an argument about sex? WITCHCRAFT!! I burn witches!!!
 
Mitalius said:
How did my argument of love's concept become an argument about sex? WITCHCRAFT!! I burn witches!!!
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You're explaining "Love" as a human concept which in itself is incorrect, because it's one of many foundations humans live upon. It'd be like "The Flawed Concept of Eating" why do you eat? You eat because you're hungry, you eat because you want to, you eat because you'd die.... etc.

We "love", either for reproductive reasons, or we love for companionship to quell loneliness.

Philosophically trying to define it, and giving it the title of "Love" isn't going to help you better understand it.

Love is a means to a means, not an end. Focusing on how a relationship will end is far less important than ever having one at all. It's the same as saying "why bother building if it'll eventually fall?" That's not how you should view things in life....

Stay positive Mit... =]
 
Mitalius said:
This has often reflected to princess stories me.
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Did you know Ariel is the only whore who got married in a day? lmao; as a matter of fact, if I remember correctly when I was a tiny young lad, she's the only whore who got married in a day & had a kid right away. Bell's a bestiality sexist, Snow whites into stranger danger, Janes into exotic man whores, Cinderell's a slave, Jasmins into thugs, Mulan's a little rebel run a way, & Meg is a cheating whore. Poccahuntis w/e is probably the only one I know who wasn't as crazy as the others.
 
So as I'm being told that whatever's happening between the couple is not what I think it is? Because upon hearing depressing stories like "My boyfriends an asshole, or my girlfriends annoying". I guess that's compatibility issues, but often form from the examples I've explained.

What I do not understand is why people don't do anything to make the relationship work. Or perhaps there was no "love" to begin with.

I feel as if I were to have a relationship with someone, it would just be there for a time, and then something so small and insignificant, like EXCITING SEX THAT FEELS SOOO GOOD DEERRPAFSJSFJ, would cause the relationship to fall apart. So at that point, I feel like it's not worth a second of having one with anyone. To sum it up, we would be compatible, we would have lots in common, and there would seeming be nothing to make us fall apart...OH BUT DAT SEX THO IS IT GOOD????...
-________-
 
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