The flawed concept of "Love".

Mitalius said:
would cause the relationship to fall apart. So at that point, I feel like it's not worth a second of having one with anyone. To sum it up, we would be compatible, we would have lots in common, and there would seeming be nothing to make us fall apart
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May I ask you a question?

Why do you care more about how a relationship ends more than starting one, or just enjoying one? I just feel like you're focusing on the ends, rather than the means.

Like most things in life, happiness and beauty is often temporary, or momentary. You take what you can from life, and preserve those memories.

Your parents who you love, will eventually pass away, the people you care for as friends, will eventually die. You'll eventually realize nothing is permanent, relationships change, things happen, people change, you take what you can from life, enjoy the happy moments, and not focus on the end. =P

"Life isn't always about the destination, it's about the journey...."

"If happiness is a momentary delusion... then death is your reality?"
 
Mitalius said:
So as I'm being told that whatever's happening between the couple is not what I think it is? Because upon hearing depressing stories like "My boyfriends an asshole, or my girlfriends annoying". I guess that's compatibility issues, but often form from the examples I've explained.

What I do not understand is why people don't do anything to make the relationship work. Or perhaps there was no "love" to begin with.

I feel as if I were to have a relationship with someone, it would just be there for a time, and then something so small and insignificant, like EXCITING SEX THAT FEELS SOOO GOOD DEERRPAFSJSFJ, would cause the relationship to fall apart. So at that point, I feel like it's not worth a second of having one with anyone. To sum it up, we would be compatible, we would have lots in common, and there would seeming be nothing to make us fall apart...OH BUT DAT SEX THO IS IT GOOD????...
-________-
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I feel like you are mixing a ton of matters up. For instance, the classic "fairy tale wedding" is never actually perfect. All examples that I can bring up from movies or stories will always have that moment where something goes wrong. Cindarella for instance, she meets the prince on a deadline of midnight. Has to leave before all the magic wears off and the Prince has to struggle to find her. In about 99% of all love stories, things tend to always work out in the end. With the exception of things like Titanic and Romeo and Juliet. The lover dies in both movies.

Also, when people are super infatuated and not shutting up about their relationship. It's usually because they are overjoyed they found someone. The joy is caused by people being lonely, longing to be with people and other social factors. There's a sense of weakness if someone can't find another person to love in this society. In most cases, when something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. When something gets over hyped at the start, it's hard to usually maintain that level of hype. Think of a rollercoaster, the first one you get on is probably really fun. But if you rode the same rollercoaster 20 times in a row would it still be as hype as the first time? For the majority of people, that would be a no. I'm sure there are one or two people who would still be thrilled though.

Another aspect of this concept is sometimes people will pretend something is there when it isn't. Like I know girls who would never give up their boyfriend in fear they could never find someone else. So what do they do? Pretend their boyfriend is everything they need when they aren't. Love is definitely out there and I'm sure you'll experience it someday. But you can't find love without filtering through a few duds first.

My advice to you since you seem really young. Don't try and draw any absolute conclusions right now. Experience the world, find people who want to be with you and see what this world has to offer. I'm sure your view on love and the world will change drastically in 10 years.
 
Mitalius said:
Some of you may have been weary about this for some time, but since this has been on my mind for about two years, I feel as if I need to discuss/vent about it.
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2 years? Damn who hurt you?

As children in our early years, we've observed love in various Disney cartoons/fairy tales as told, where this "handsome" prince would rescue, or find this pretty princess from any form of distress. At the blink of an eye, they immediately fall in love get married shortly afterwards.
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Fairy tales are just that and shouldn't be a basis for any real life decision.

but the known fact that relationships made out of the blue can make dysfunctions in them, resulting in divorces, domestic disturbances, and in some cases, death. Knowing these negative side effects resulting from building a relationship with someone unknown to another, it is the idea of that concept of love is particularly flawed in my opinion.
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You can get killed walking across the street. What would you suggest, to never go outside?

-How is this concept flawed?

Well, let's put it this way. Some of you may be in High school/College and had relationships with woman. As for me observing people's relationship, I have observed some of their relationships appears to be functional and normal, but then some time later they hate each other now, particularly the girl hating on the guy that which he doesn't seem to really care. . Although their reasons were unknown to me, this has me come to thinking of the most common causes for a relationship to fall. "That guy obviously did something to hurt her, or perhaps she was missing something from him that's causing her to ditch him". So I conclude that their love was merely physical attraction, and with the lack of support or actual care for one another, because most of the time that's the case. So I conclude with this, that seeing someone who is physically intriguing to one's eye, urging to build a relationship, is a bit flawed seeing as it creates dysfunctions in it.

I am free to hear other's opinions of this topic, and I'm open to any criticism if needed.
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I wouldn't come to any "factual conclusions" based on the observations of your peers who don't have a clue what they want in a relationship to begin with. At high school/college, people just tryna fuck, or they want to be in a relationship for the wrong reasons, or confuse love with lust or sex with love. Eventually people mature and figure out what they want in life and what they are looking for in a person to form a relationship with. Hopefully they are lucky enough to find what they are looking for.

Love is not the issue. Love is beautiful and can encompass so many things. You love your parents. You love your siblings. I love chicken, long walks on the beach, white women with ass, etc. The problem is people. You'll learn.
 
Malice said:
The problem is people. You'll learn.
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Indeed it is. I'm not talking about relationships, be it with parents, and family. Relationships with another men and woman and general is my main point here. I don't see it like this, but yet looking at other peopls I often see it like this, *sees intriguing figure, "Hi I want to date you!" Often do I see this happen, and often do I see relationships fall apart afterwards when two people date eachother not knowing a damn thing about eachother. Of course I haven't been in one love relationship, so I guess I'm not supposed to understand how it works, :p.

To answer your question on who hurt me...nobody did.
 
Mitalius said:
I don't see it like this, but yet looking at other peopls I often see it like this, *sees intriguing figure, "Hi I want to date you!" Often do I see this happen, and often do I see relationships fall apart afterwards when two people date eachother not knowing a damn thing about eachother.
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What's so bad about that? That's the point of dating. You see someone you like, you go out on a date, find out more about them, then give em the D hard like Seattle if it all works out.

If it doesn't, then you repeat the dating process until you do find someone you no longer want to date, but want to build a meaningful relationship with.

Problems start when person A wants X while person B wants Y, or gets tired of person A's shit while trying to get some of that sweet ass from person C. I wouldn't dwell too much about it. You have your whole life to worry about it.
 
Malice said:
What's so bad about that? That's the point of dating. You see someone you like, you go out on a date, find out more about them, then give em the D hard like Seattle if it all works out.

If it doesn't, then you repeat the dating process until you do find someone you no longer want to date, but want to build a meaningful relationship with.

Problems start when person A wants X while person B wants Y, or gets tired of person A's shit while trying to get some of that sweet ass from person C. I wouldn't dwell too much about it. You have your whole life to worry about it.
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Oh, I thought they started from being really good friends...But nowadays that's the concept of a...EhhHmm...FRIENDZONE?
 
Mitalius said:
Oh, I thought they started from being really good friends...But nowadays that's the concept of a...EhhHmm...FRIENDZONE?
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It's usually harder to get relationships off of being friends. I wouldn't say because of the labeled friendzone per se. More because you want to grab someones attention early on when there is more interest. On the same note, It's important to make your intentions obvious. Like if you become friends with someone, they'll start to think that's the intention. But if I come up to a girl and shortly after ask her out. She clearly knows what my intentions are, whether she agrees with them or not. A lot of people who get friend zoned imo don't know how to move on when they got the message someone isn't interested. Or they just didn't have the balls to ask someone out. Hinting at things and directly asking are two different things.

It's good to try and find people that interest you and you want to hang out with. But imo, friends are friends, and relationships are relationships. You'll probably want different things from both. Like there are friends of mine that are women that I would 100% never date. Probably more the reason I'm friends with them haha.
 
Mitalius said:
Some of you may have been weary about this for some time, but since this has been on my mind for about two years, I feel as if I need to discuss/vent about it. As children in our early years, we've observed love in various Disney cartoons/fairy tales as told, where this "handsome" prince would rescue, or find this pretty princess from any form of distress. At the blink of an eye, they immediately fall in love get married shortly afterwards. Now, in some cases, I'm statistically positive something like this may have happened somewhere in the real world and created a positive outcome, but the known fact that relationships made out of the blue can make dysfunctions in them, resulting in divorces, domestic disturbances, and in some cases, death. Knowing these negative side effects resulting from building a relationship with someone unknown to another, it is the idea of that concept of love is particularly flawed in my opinion.
-How is this concept flawed?

Well, let's put it this way. Some of you may be in High school/College and had relationships with woman. As for me observing people's relationship, I have observed some of their relationships appears to be functional and normal, but then some time later they hate each other now, particularly the girl hating on the guy that which he doesn't seem to really care. . Although their reasons were unknown to me, this has me come to thinking of the most common causes for a relationship to fall. "That guy obviously did something to hurt her, or perhaps she was missing something from him that's causing her to ditch him". So I conclude that their love was merely physical attraction, and with the lack of support or actual care for one another, because most of the time that's the case. So I conclude with this, that seeing someone who is physically intriguing to one's eye, urging to build a relationship, is a bit flawed seeing as it creates dysfunctions in it.

I am free to hear other's opinions of this topic, and I'm open to any criticism if needed.
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People be having sex before marriage and imho that just blinds the love. Men want to screw ladies, ladies want that money, and vice versa. Anyone can try to tell urban tales of love, statistics, what to wear and whatnot, but it all boils down to is making a pact for better or worse. A lot people say they do, but not many have the patience and drive.

The only thing I know about love is: Loving a lady is like watering a flower. Give her too much water, she'll choke and/or be turned off. Give her too little and she wilts because she feels she's not getting the attention she deserves. Give her the right amount and pray she loves in return for better or worse.


I don't what's going on in your life Mitalius, but you ought to have confidence in yourself to make a decision. You ought worry more about the lady you're interested in and try your best for her love. If she doesn't see you the way you see her, then I can't really much. You could try to endure long heartaches with whoever you can't get over or move on. There really isn't a surefire way to win a woman's heart.

There's just working hard at it and hoping for the best. Either way, you're still young and I'm sure there will come a time when a lady will notice you for who you are. Just do your best dude.
 
TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER:

IT SEEMS YOU'RE JUST DISCOVERING THAT IT IS HUMAN NATURE FOR PEOPLE TO BE ASSHOLES AND THAT SELFLESS LOVE IS A FALSE CONCEPT. THIS IS OBVIOUSLY TRUE SINCE ALTRUISM HAS BEEN PROVEN WRONG TIME AND TIME AGAIN. DON'T LISTEN TO ANYBODY WHO INSISTS THAT LOVE WILL FIX THE WORLD, AND ESPECIALLY IGNORE ANY POSITIVE MESSAGE THEY HAVE TO GIVE YOU. EVERYONE IS LYING THROUGH THEIR TEETH OR THEY ARE TOO STUPID TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.
 
The short version:

Find a girl you like, ask her out, see what happens. If she turns you away, there are other fish in the sea. Forget what I said earlier. You are young, so don't even think about a long term relationship yet. Just familiarize yourself with the whole dating thing.

Who knows, you might end up staying together for a really long time, you might not. It all depends on what each of you are looking for.

At your age, most girls are stupid and are completely superficial and don't have a clue what they want, so don't be surprised if she loses interest at some point. Teenage girls like a bad boy, 20-somethings like a guy with money.

Unfortunately the only women who want a genuine, honest, intelligent and loyal man are middle aged women! Thankfully by this age they usually don't care about money as much because most of them already have good jobs/careers once they hit 40.

The truth is, dating sucks no matter what age you are. I am extremely grateful that I settled down in my early twenties and haven't left yet. I get laid whenever I want to and I don't even have to try very hard. <that is one great advantage to being married.

Maybe you don't buy into this whole 'love' notion. Maybe you think it's all BS, and who knows you might be right. I chose to think of relationships as more of a 'companionship' and shared life experiences. I couldn't image life without her. After all, she did give birth to my son :)
 
Mitalius should talk to someone who cares about him like a brother or guardian. The more you keep things bottled up with unnecessary stress, the more likely you're likely to think about depressing things like suicide. Now I may be some online stranger, but even I think it's stupid to mope around for a pity party.

I get why he feels no girl has given him a chance, but not many pretty girls are gonna go over and hug Mitalius and say "I'd date you". Instead, they'd think he's an emo and friendzone him and I wouldn't blame them. Until he straightens up, be himself, and do his best, no lady will ever like him.


I don't know what Mitalius wants us to say, but I might as well tell to him to take pride in what he is first. How can he love a girl if he doesn't love himself enough? Like I mentioned earlier, he lacks confidence in who he is. So what if a girl says you're nerdy, tell the woman that's who I am and it shouldn't matter. It's a man's job to take the lead. Even if you stumble, be yourself and work hard.
 
“So far, the existence for a truly unselfish act isn't looking good.”
http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/evolution/unselfish-act2.htm


“the purpose of altruism simply is to preserve the genetic line”
http://curiosity.discovery.com/question/what-scientific-basis-for-altruism


“And if that is what models and theories show, supported by empirical observation, then perhaps true altruism is really just a dream.”
http://www.scienceinschool.org/2012/issue25/altruism


“Researchers looked at 32 studies of primates and human foragers, and the evidence points to the fact that when sharing food, we want something out of it.”
http://www.geekosystem.com/human-primate-altruism/


THERE IS ONLY SELFISH LOVE. THERE IS ONLY THE SELFISH GENE. THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES EXISTS FOR A REASON. YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER USES YOU FOR PERSONAL GAIN, THE SAME WAY YOU USE THEM: TO FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE, TO BE IN CONTROL, TO FURTHER THE AGENDA OF THE REPLICATING DNA! THE DNA COMPETES WITH ITSELF FOR UNEXPLAINABLE REASONS, SIMPLY TO REPRODUCE BETTER VERSIONS OF ITSELF.

THINK IN TERMS OF WHAT IS FUNDAMENTALLY CAUSING US TO PLAY THE GAME OF LIFE. DON'T LOOK AT THE SURFACE OF EVERYDAY INTERACTIONS. DON’T MISTAKE ACTS OF LOYALTY AND COMMITMENT AS SIGNS OF SELFLESS LOVE. THE SURFACE DOES NOT ADDRESS THE BIGGER PICTURE. THE SURFACE DOES NOT ADDRESS WHAT WE ARE AT THE CORE. THE CORE REVEALS THAT LIFE IS A STUPID AND RUTHLESS GAME. WE ARE SLAVES TO EVOLUTION UNLESS WE REFUSE TO PLAY. SCIENCE IS THE ONLY WAY TO BEGIN TO ADMIT WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING. YOUR PSYCHOLOGY AND RATIONALIZATIONS ARE IRRELEVANT TO THE TRUTH OF LIFE AND WHAT IT DOES AND HOW IT WORKS!
 
^Is every thread for you a new place to spread your oh-so-insightful nihilistic philosophies?

Yeah, so what if love is about mutual gain, so what if it isn't selfless, you make it sound like that's a bad thing. There is nothing inherently 'wrong' with being selfish.

Like I told you before, go jump off a building if life really is that grim to you, otherwise GTFO and STFU with your BS. You have your own thread that deals with that issue, why don't you keep it there mate? No one wants to hear your bullshit.

Fuck it. You are the 2nd person to reach my ignore list.
 
CaptainHook said:
^Is every thread for you a new place to spread your oh-so-insightful nihilistic philosophies?

Yeah, so what if love is about mutual gain, so what if it isn't selfless, you make it sound like that's a bad thing. There is nothing inherently 'wrong' with being selfish.

Like I told you before, go jump off a building if life really is that grim to you, otherwise GTFO and STFU with your BS. You have your own thread that deals with that issue, why don't you keep it there mate? No one wants to hear your bullshit.

Fuck it. You are the 2nd person to reach my ignore list.
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Don't feed the trolls. Seriously, this one in particular can go several months without eating.
 
MONEYMUFFINS said:
LIFE IS A STUPID AND RUTHLESS GAME. WE ARE SLAVES TO EVOLUTION UNLESS WE REFUSE TO PLAY. SCIENCE IS THE ONLY WAY TO BEGIN TO ADMIT WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING.
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1) You state a lot of problems, but give no solutions...... (Nihilist much?)

2) "Refusing to Play the Game of Life".... Uhh, that pretty much just sounds like suicide, right?

GOT DERP?!
 
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