Jokes thread
- Thread starter Blade_edge
- Start date
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Being calm is not something I rate.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Adele called her first albums 19 & 21 because they are numbers that have special importance to her life.
Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out in the summer.
Her follow up 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510 is due out in the summer.
CV5Yorktown
[09] Warrior
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." The Third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable." Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." The Third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable." Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
Lasercakes
[12] Conqueror
What happens when a Jew with an erection runs into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
He breaks his nose.
Tenchi8
[10] Knight
Sophitia with a dildo for a joke weapon as she stabs down on her defeated victims repeatedly. XD
I just had to share that one, at least once. XD
I just had to share that one, at least once. XD
spongebob
[08] Mercenary
Juez
DragonPuncher
alright so 3 guys walk into a bar, the first guy walks up to the bartender and says "hey barkeep, gimme a jack an coke" bartender does it. The second guy walks up to the bartender and says "yo gimme a shot whiskey" bartender does it. The third guy goes up to the bar and says "I'll have a glass of water" the bartender gives him the water, and they all lived happily ever after. The end?
spongebob
[08] Mercenary
3 guys are in a cafe, one says: I’ve got the smallest arm of the world! Another says: I’ve got the smallest head of the world! The last one says: I’ve got the smallest dick of the world!
The 3 guys go to Guinness World Records. The first one goes first and returns happy: I’ve really got the smallest arm in the world! The second returns happy too: I’ve really got the smallest head of the world!
The last one returns angry and screams: Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?!??
The 3 guys go to Guinness World Records. The first one goes first and returns happy: I’ve really got the smallest arm in the world! The second returns happy too: I’ve really got the smallest head of the world!
The last one returns angry and screams: Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?!??
DeathInMyEyes
DIME
This actually happened like 30 seconds ago on my Facebook.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
Actually, Justin Bieber's got a 10 inch cock.
It's in his ass.
And it belongs to Usher.
lobo
Luminario
he'd never cheat on his pappy.
i think my best friend is gay. his cock has really been tasting like shit lately.
i think my best friend is gay. his cock has really been tasting like shit lately.
DeathWarden
[09] Warrior
How do you stop a baby from crying? Duck tape it's mouth.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
So Beyonce and Jay-Z are having a kid! Wow, that kid will have everything!
Except a last name.
Except a last name.
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. And thats just the first guy.
How did the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her Head & Shoulders under the back seat. (the link is in case anyone under 15 doesn't remember this)
How did the 12yo mexican get pregnant? Her teacher told her to go do an ese/essay. (again this one must be told)
Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout will come home from camp.
I really don't wanna make fun of black people since I have some in my family tree. In fact I think they are still hanging there.
How did the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her Head & Shoulders under the back seat. (the link is in case anyone under 15 doesn't remember this)
How did the 12yo mexican get pregnant? Her teacher told her to go do an ese/essay. (again this one must be told)
Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout will come home from camp.
I really don't wanna make fun of black people since I have some in my family tree. In fact I think they are still hanging there.
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
I was standing there, hands trembling, my wife due home from work any time now... I reached for my youngest daughter's top - it came off with little resistance.
Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.
Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp...
Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinson's isn't making it any easier.
Her training bra was my next hurdle. Hands still trembling, I gently unclipped it and unable to control my hands I watched it as it fell to the floor.
Her short little skirt was next, I reached out and slid it off. As I ran my hands slowly over her My Little Pony panties I could feel they were already really, really damp...
Anyway, I'd better finish getting the rest of the washing in - it's raining and my Parkinson's isn't making it any easier.
K0rN_b4LL
[14] Master
Why the hell does this keep happening to me? It seems no matter what forum I am in I almost always seem to get the last post on a page. :(
BlackDragon37
[12] Conqueror
I bet Americans hate September this year. The whole month is a 9/11.
CrazyYoshimitsu
[10] Knight
MY 3soe joke: Elena and Chun-Li Comparison
Elena......
-black girl
-fighting style is Capoeria
-wears less clothes
-has juicy legs
-She is from Kenya.
-Apart of an African tribe.
-single
Chun Li.....
-Chiense girl
-Fighting style is a mixture of kickboxing and kenpo.
- wears more clothes
-has even juicy legs
-She is from China.
-Single?
Who do you have a better chance of getting in bed with? Uh....well, let's use numbers to explain this.
Chun-Li: -100%
Elena: 15%
What is the moral of the story? You have a better chance of going after Rose, C.Viper., Sakura, R.Mika, Cammy, Juri, Makoto, Ibkui, and Karin. In the end, I suggest you go for the white girl.
Elena......
-black girl
-fighting style is Capoeria
-wears less clothes
-has juicy legs
-She is from Kenya.
-Apart of an African tribe.
-single
Chun Li.....
-Chiense girl
-Fighting style is a mixture of kickboxing and kenpo.
- wears more clothes
-has even juicy legs
-She is from China.
-Single?
Who do you have a better chance of getting in bed with? Uh....well, let's use numbers to explain this.
Chun-Li: -100%
Elena: 15%
What is the moral of the story? You have a better chance of going after Rose, C.Viper., Sakura, R.Mika, Cammy, Juri, Makoto, Ibkui, and Karin. In the end, I suggest you go for the white girl.