Jokes thread

A Chinese couple named Wong had a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy definitely Caucasian white baby boy!

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him "Sum Ting Wong."
 

If you watch Die Hard backwards, it’s about a bunch of terrorists helping to repair a sky scraper just in time for a Christmas party.

If you watch Cinderella backwards, it’s about a woman who learns her place.

If you watch The Karate Kid backwards, it’s about a karate champion who slowly becomes a pussy and ends up moving back to Jersey.

If you watch Pokémon backwards, it’s about rehabilitating victims of legalised animal fighting and releasing them into the wild.

If you watch Superman backwards, it is about a guy who flies around, putting people into precarious situations, then hiding.​
 
Your mom is so cross sided, She dropped a Dime and picked up two Nickels WAhhh!!

Your mom is so dumb, when they said it was chilly outside the bitch run out with a bowl! I love Chilly.... WAhhhh

Your mom is so ugly, when she went to Taco Bell, Everyone ran to the border... Wahhhh

Your mom is so dumb she tried to M&M's in Alphabetical order.... M m M ;/
 
RIDLEYomega said:
well, I do have to say that out of all the jokes in this thread, this could be the best one, not cuz it's funny, but cuz jokes are meant to be seen or heard.... not fucking read >.< oh and wtf? boob bone? o.O
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Yeah. I was like boob bone? and then Khan asked the same thing. I was glad that the joke wasn't completely out there and even one of the characters didn't know what was going on. but about reading jokes some of them are funny because they're short and to the point (except for the momma jokes. I think all of those are stupid and old.)
 
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0VincentRayne0 said:
Yeah. I was like boob bone? and then Khan asked the same thing. I was glad that the joke wasn't completely out there and even one of the characters didn't know what was going on. but about reading jokes some of them are funny because they're short and to the point (except for the momma jokes. I think all of those are stupid and old.)
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yeah, I guess SOME of the short and simple ones are funny as hell, but still, I would preffer the real deal than shit like this. Anyway, let's keep it coming I guess.

Jeff D.: "have you ever been to the white house?"
Walter: "yup"
Jeff D.: "that's where the most powerful man in the free world lives"
Walter: ".....Oprah?"
 
On Monday, Barack Obama defended his new tax rate for millionaires, saying that "This is not class warfare; it's math". Which is unfortunate since America's way better at warfare than math.

British consumers say they're confused by new terms the fashion industry's using these days, such as "spants" and "swacket", while American consumers are confused by fashion terms like "medium" and "small".

Patti Stanger, star of Millionaire Matchmaker, said this week that New York City women are "wound tight", and that they should "loosen up". Oh sure, but when I say it I'm "harassing the dancers".

An artist in England is selling jewellery crafted from human hair. She says the jewellery is just a way to support herself while she pursues her true passion - murdering people for hair.

Ted Haggard, the disgraced pastor who admitted to having a homosexual affair, is said to appear on new reality show Celebrity Wife Swap. Haggard signed on to the show before finding out that you have to swap your wife for another wife.

Several supermarket chains around America have begun phasing out the self-service checkout machines after studies showed that human cashiers were faster. If you asked me which humans would finally defeat the machines, I would not have guessed supermarket cashiers.
 
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Obesity in America is escalating... It's too lazy to take the stairs.

I hate PornHub. I trained to become a doctor for 7 years, and not once have I had a blowjob from a busty nurse.

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
 
Q: Why do Jews have such big noses?
A: Because air is free.

Q: What's yellow and goes "cheep, cheep"?
A: A Chinese prostitute.

Q: What do hockey goalies and a native girls have in common?
A: They both change their pads after three periods.

Q: Why was the homosexual fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A: For drinking on the job.
 
Jargen88 said:
Q: Why do Jews have such big noses?
A: Because air is free.

Q: What's yellow and goes "cheep, cheep"?
A: A Chinese prostitute.

Q: What do hockey goalies and a native girls have in common?
A: They both change their pads after three periods.

Q: Why was the homosexual fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A: For drinking on the job.
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ummm.
1. I don't get it
2. that's messed up
3. that got a chuckle out of me but then I noticed it seemed like a racist joke
4. ewww.

P.S. I was wondering who your avatar is. I've seen her before when I was on youtube watching an music vid of an artist I like. your avatar person was on the side of suggested videos. I think the vid was Pon Pon Pon.
 
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