Jokes thread

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And on today's episode of Law & Order: 8WR-

Since my wife died, leaving our teenage daughter and I behind, I've found that routine can help to cope with the loss.

For example, every night, I pour myself a glass of wine and pop my head round the lounge door and say to my daughter, "Night night. I'm off to bed."

I then walk up the stairs and straight into her bedroom, taking a seat in the corner.

Ten minutes later, she makes her way upstairs and into her room. She strips off, gets comfortable on her bed, and masturbates herself to a quiet but intense orgasm. She then rolls over and falls asleep.

I finish off my wine, and slowly creep out of the room, so that she doesn't wake up.

I then take my glass downstairs and wash it in the kitchen sink, feed my daughter's guide dog, and go to bed.
 
wait wait wait WAIT a fuckin second........

BlackDragon is.....Black? Do they have black people in the UK?
Oh you didn't know? The UK is so multicultural, we don't even need to go abroad.

Why go to Nigeria when there's Tooting?

Why go to Pakistan when there's Bradford?

Why go to Jamaica when there's jail?
 
Oh you didn't know? The UK is so multicultural, we don't even need to go abroad.

Why go to Nigeria when there's Tooting?

Why go to Pakistan when there's Bradford?

Why go to Jamaica when there's jail?

OMFG!! I laughed so hard at that, I think I pooped a little.

Its a shame you cant triple "like" things.

and I believe that line in bold is vaugley racist! Or a fart joke. There really cant be a place called "tooting"
 
Any time you find yourself fawning over woman you deem as beautiful, and start to get the feeling that she's out of your league, keep in mind: someone out there is probably tired of her shit.

If you ever have a tough time reading, always remember that you can look in the Yellow Pages under "Learn,"...if you ever figure out what letter learn starts with.

What do you call a black priest?
A priest, you racist asshole.
 
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