Jokes, anyone?

why couldn't hellen keller drive? She was a woman.

Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left"? She has no rights

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
 
XDaiKonX said:
why couldn't hellen keller drive? She was a woman.

Why does beyonce sing "to the left to the left"? She has no rights

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
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Nice job ripping off Eli's dirty jokes, at least credit it...
 
I feel sorry for Anne Frank.

First she gets her diary published, which is every girl's worst nightmare, but on top of that she doesn't get any money from it, which is every Jew's worst nightmare.
 
A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all deciding what to throw off a clip over a town that they are currently residing. The Chinese man throws a wok, the Mexican man throws a pinata, and the American man throws a land mine.

Later that day, the Chinese man goes home, only to see his wife dead with a wok next to her corpse.

The Mexican man goes home, only to see that his grandfather is dead with a pinata on top of his head.

The American man goes home to see his son laughing in front of his destroyed home. He asks "What's so funny?" The son replies "Well, I was going to my friends house, but had to fart. So I lit a match, farted, and the house exploded"

Yeah, I know, this joke sucked and is probably racist, but hey... at least it's original.
 
Fuck i'm so hot, i'm sweating like a hooker in church!

-

So three guys traveling through the desert, A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican. Their car breaks down in the middle of the desert and each one took a piece of the car with them on their long long walk home. The Canadian took the Hood of the car, The American took a bottle of water from the car, and the Mexican took the car door.
So the three were walking thru the desert when they stumbled upon a magic lamp. They rubbed the lamp and genei popped out and promised them to return them all home if they justified their reasons for taking the certain car parts with them.
So He asked the Canadian why he took the hood of the car. The Canadian said so it'll protect me from the hot sun. Then he snapped his fingers and sent the Canadian home.
He asked the American why he took the bottle of water. He told the genei so when i get thirsty, i'll drink from it. Sounded reasonable, he snapped his fingers and the American was sent home.
He asked the Mexican why he took the car door and the Mexican said, "Cause when it gets too hot i could just roll down the window"
 
one day an american man, a chinese man and a mexican man were on top of a cliff. so the chinese man picked up a box of fortune cookies and threw it over. american man was curious so he asked, "why did you do that?" to which the chinese man replied, "we have too many in our country." so the mexican man thought for a second picked up his box of tacos that he brought with him and threw it over the cliff. american man was curious and a bit irritated, "why did you do that? i was getting hungry." mexican man replied, "we have too many in our country." so the american man thought for a second and then shoved the mexican man off the cliff. chinese man was shocked and stunned. "OH MY GOD! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" "we have too many in our country."
 
Madnis and Fly has got me beat.

Let's see... what can glorious Google provide for me?! (Being unoriginal this time) XP

What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.

A manager at a credit union hired a new blonde secretary. He showed her the ropes of the job as well as the new stores, restaurants, and hotels around the town. The next morning, as the manager was looking over his daily agenda, he noticed that the secretary was 1 hour late. He looked up the telephone number of the hotel she was currently residing and wondered what her excuse was. She answered the phone, crying that she was stuck in her hotel room. He asked why she couldn't get out. She replied: "Because there is only three doors in here... one is the closet, one is the bathroom, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'".

An Irishman, a Mexican, and a blonde guy were doing construction work on a scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building". The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm going to jump off, too". The blonde opened up his lunch box and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'll jump as well". The next day, the Irishman opened up his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch box, saw a burrito, and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch box, saw a bologna sandwich, and jumped also. At the men's funeral, the Irishman's wife cried, "If only I knew how much he hated corned beef and cabbage, I would of made him something different". The Mexican man's wife also cried and said, "I could of gave him enchiladas one day, and tacos the next. I never knew he hated burritos so much". As they both turned to the blonde guy's wife, she exclaimed, "Don't look at me! He makes his own lunch".

How are women and mermaids similar?
They both look like women from the waist up and they both smell like fish from the waist down.

A European tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. A New Yorker behind him taps his shoulder rapidly and yells, "They don't serve beer here, you retard!". The European looked at the New Yorker and burst out laughing. "What's so funny?!" replied the New Yorker. The European replied, "Oh nothing. I just realized that you came here for the food".
 
The-Instigator said:
A European tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. A New Yorker behind him taps his shoulder rapidly and yells, "They don't serve beer here, you retard!". The European looked at the New Yorker and burst out laughing. "What's so funny?!" replied the New Yorker. The European replied, "Oh nothing. I just realized that you came here for the food".
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^^^ this is more than likely a true story and i agree with the european completely 0(^_^)0
 
The virgin Mary claims she gave birth to Jesus without ever having any sexual intercourse.

Rohypnol - Confusing women for the last 2000 years.
 
Why can't they have Driver's Ed and Sex Ed on the same day at schools in Mexico?







They don't want to wear out the Donkey.

Ba-ZING!
 
King_Waste said:
Lobo is a joke. Stare and laugh at a the online scrub.
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From youtube.com

KurisuKappSu (1 day ago) Show Hide 0 Marked as spam Reply --- You guys look up to lobo like he's something special he nothing more than a troll. Now im no going to say im innocent on 8WR i have trolled alot without any reason ill admit to that mistake.However ive moved on from this whole episode. i just came here so you could hear my side of the story. Now for all of you who enjoy good it least you got laughs out but don't ever judge my skills as player because i did something stupid. Lobo says he's been in the tournament scene since 2002.

Looks like you're back to trolling.
 
funniest joke i have seen in a very long time is King_Waste trying to play sc4.

please share these laughs with me.
 
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