Jokes thread

0VincentRayne0 said:
ummm.
1. I don't get it
2. that's messed up
3. that got a chuckle out of me but then I noticed it seemed like a racist joke
4. ewww.

P.S. I was wondering who your avatar is. I've seen her before when I was on youtube watching an music vid of an artist I like. your avatar person was on the side of suggested videos. I think the vid was Pon Pon Pon.
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1. Jews are known to be very cheap and will do anything to get a deal or save money. Since air is free, they evolved to have bigger noses so that they could breathe more air. lolol (It's crude, but I like crude....lol)

My avatar is Kyray and yes the gif is from PONPONPON. I'm addicted to the song and music video.... She's so cute :3
 
BlackDragon37 said:
Obesity in America is escalating... It's too lazy to take the stairs.

I hate PornHub. I trained to become a doctor for 7 years, and not once have I had a blowjob from a busty nurse.

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
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Nice!!!!
 
why did the bike fall over?

.............because it was too tired XD


what do you call a fat guy that can't find his penis?
................. broke
(sorry family guy reference)



there's this drink called bishops finger, you know why i never drink it?
.......... because i don't like the taste of little boys


what do you call a fat guy at a salad bar?

.....................lost


what do you call a pakistane bloke wearing a pig as a hat?

Hamed

i think i should quit making up jokes i clearly suck XD
 
Imogen said:
i think i should quit making up jokes i clearly suck XD
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Yes, I totally agree. I'm reffering you to one of the best jokes in this thread, maybe you can learn something -__- now take a look at this shit:
SC5_moves.jpg

Do you know why that's a masterpiece? because the dude that posted this didn't have to make an effort in writing or telling shit... he just posted the damn thing and look how many likes it go... including mine.

DID YOU TAKE NOTES??

LOL alright then, try again. Show me what you got >=)
 
Those attractive bare-breasted protesters on Wall Street must face the fact that going topless isn't gonna draw attention to your cause and give you media expos...

Oh. I see what you did there.

Well played, ladies. Well played.
 
Bit of a story rather than a joke.

The first time I went to Otakon my buddy and I are taking a quick breather cuz he's getting tired (he's a big guy and doesn't like walking alot) and while looking through the convention schedule I notice a workshop on "Yaoi Hardcore!" I laugh and show my friend and he says-

Friend: Dude, hardcore! That sounds like something I'd be interested in!
Me: *blinks* <stares at him for a few seconds in akward silence>...........Dude, do you even know what yaoi is?
Friend: No, what is it?
Me: *sighs* <explains it to him>
Friend: Awwwwwww, no man. Forget that, I don't wanna see that.
Me: Uh-huh.
 
One day the Pope was walking down an Italian road, when he spotted a black magic shop in an alleyway.

Curious, he decided to go inside and look around. As he approached the counter the woman behind told him they were doing a special on Voodoo Dolls.

The Pope thought for a few moments and told the woman he would like to buy one. She then informed him he would need to get the hair of the person he would like the doll to represent. He plucked some hair from his head and handed it over the counter. "You want a doll of yourself?" she asked. The Pope nodded and soon left with his doll.

The next day the Pope was visiting the victim of abuse at one of his churches. Producing the doll he said to the child, "Show me on the doll where the naughty priest touched you."
 
S.O.L. shit outta luck. & two guys share a bunk bed. One guy is doing it hard with his gf and they talk in code. tomato means harder, lettuce means slower. So they start their fun party while the other guy is at the bottom of the bed. After 3 minutes, the guy on the lower bunk says, "Stop making sandwhiches your getting mayonnaise all over me!
 
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