So longEpisode 13:
Let's Bond Together
Christie being interviewed
"I was in the bathroom when I heard Xianghua and Cassandra yelling at each other and throwing things around. I also saw Kilik holding his pants while holding Xianghua at the same time as well as Cassandra grabbing a piece of Xianghua's hair, landing a few blows and Jin stopping the fight.
"Alright ladies, I want to know what the hell is going on?" Jin inquired.
"That bitch started it!" yelled Xianghua.
"No, you started it!" yelled Cassandra.
"Enough!" bellowed Jin.
"Kilik, you tell us what's going on?" Jin asked as the camera pans to Kilik.
"Why are you pulling up your pants?" Jin added.
"Okay, Jin, I'll tell you everything." said Kilik
It was right after your so called Anger Management class and all the employees are going back to their desks, very tense and all, when I went to the break room getting a drink of coffee, when Xianghua walked in to get coffee herself but was playing the whole "I need help with the coffee" excuse.
"Kilik, I can't seem to get a can of coffee, can you get it for me?" Xianghua asked.
"Okay". said Kilik.
As I am reaching for the coffee maker, I feel her hands groping my butt. I turn around and I already see her licking her lips. Then as I get the coffee for her, she pins me up against the wall and starts taking my pants off .
"You know, Kilik, I thought about the whole anger management thing and this is how I want to vent." said Xianghua.
As Xianghua and I are having....oral sex, in comes Cassandra with a camera and starts taking pictures of us.
"I caught you both red-handed and I am so taking this up with management. You guys are so done!" said Cassandra.
"This leads to Xianghua tackling Cassandra and that's how the whole fight began." Kilik explained.
"Okay, so I see my anger management didn't help anyone here so now I have another plan." said Jin.
"What plan is that, having Xianghua fired at last?" Cassandra asked.
"You wish." sneered Xianghua.
"I want everyone to pack their bags because we are going to a retreat to bond with one another." Jin smiled.
"WHAT?!?" all the employees shouted as the camera panned to their reactions.
Julia being interviewed
" A retreat? What's next, a company BBQ where all we do is fight and bitch at each other?"
"I want everyone to meet up at the retreat and spa, mind you that the spa is off limits." Jin added.
Xianghua and Christie being interviewed
Christie: Why in the hell do we have to go this retreat?
Xianghua: Because someone couldn't keep her entire thoughts to herself.
Christie: I wonder who could that be?
As all the employees meet up at the retreat and spa, they are greeted by Eddy Gordo, Nina Williams, and Jin Kazama, who is in a robe and thermal green mud on his face.
"Welcome everyone to the retreat and spa, we will start venting within an hour" Jin announced.
"Why are you using the spa and we can't?" Julia asked.
"Good question...I just happen to have a membership card." Jin retorted.
"Oh, please." groaned Julia.
"Everyone, get acquainted with this place, you may want to use your two weeks vacation after this." Jin added.
"That green stuff and that robe makes you look gay." smirked Hwoarang.
"Whatever, Hwoarang." said Jin.
As the employees are heading for their rooms, Kilik and Xianghua opened theirs as Cassandra walks past them.
Cassandra being interviewed
"Seeing Kilik and Xianghua opening their retreat room so quickly, I'm suspicious if she is thinking about doing him. This isn't a Motel 6, you know?"
Inside their room, Hwoarang is bored while Yun-Seong is flipping through some channels with a remote control.
"This place blows." said Hwoarang.
"I know." Yun-Seong added.
"What are you doing?" Hwoarang asked.
"I'm looking for anything good to watch." Yun-Seong responded.
Yun-Seong stops on a erotic channel as the camera zooms on Hwoarang's reaction.
"All right, now we're talking!" smirked Hwoarang.
As both men were about to watch the erotic channel, Setsuka walks into their room.
"Hey guys, Jin wants us outside for the bond retreat." said Setsuka.
Setsuka then looks at the erotic channel and then at Hwoarang and Yun-Seong.
"You guys are hopeless." Setsuka added as she walked out of their room.
As the employees were outside, Jin, Nina, and Eddy were already waiting for them.
"Hello, everyone and welcome to our employee retreat." Jin announced.
"I want everyone to feel at home and harmonious." Jin added.
"More like hostile and nauseous." sneered Cassandra as she was sitting between Christie and Xianghua.
"First, we're going to do the trust fall." said Jin.
"I want Xianghua and Cassandra for this activity." Jin added.
The camera pans to Xianghua and Cassandra, who both look pissed off about doing an activity together.
"Okay, Cassandra, Xianghua is gonna fall back and it's your job to catch her." Nina instructed.
"Sure, no problem." smiled Cassandra.
"I fall, I'm going to bust your mouth open." fumed Xianghua.
"Don't worry, trust her." smiled Nina.
"Okay...I'll try" hesitated Xianghua.
Xianghua being interviewed
"If I fall for whatever reason, I am going to pummel the crap out of that pompous bitch!"
"Don't worry, Xianghua, I'll catch you." said Cassandra.
"You better." gritted Xianghua.
As Xianghua folds her arms across her chest and close her eyes, she starts to fall back, hoping that Cassandra will catch her but instead falls on the ground.
"Ow!" whined Xianghua.
"Whoops, just kidding!" smiled Cassandra.
"Why you ungrateful pompous cu--" sneered Xianghua as she was being held back by Christie and Kilik as she was about to lunge for Cassandra.
"I tried to catch her, you all saw me." pleaded Cassandra.
"Wait till I get you, bitch!" yelled Xianghua.
"Okay, can we have Maxi and Setsuka do the trust fall." Jin announced.
"Who's going to do the catching?" Setsuka asked.
"That will be me." retorted Maxi.
"You better catch me or it's your ass." warned Setsuka.
As Setsuka begins to lean back, Maxi tries to play it smooth by trying to catch Setsuka but almost messes up.
"Hey baby, where you been all my life?" Maxi asked.
"In the barn with the rest of your family, you pig." sneered Setsuka as she slaps Maxi.
"She wants me." said Maxi.
"Okay, now we're going to do to have Kilik and Hwoarang hold a keg without either one dropping it." Jin announced.
"Did you just say, a keg?" Yun-Seong asked.
"Trust me, there is no beer in this keg." Jin retorted.
"Damn!" Yun-Seong frowned.
Both Kilik and Hwoarang are holding a keg for a while when Jin, using a feather, starts tickling Kilik.
"Hey, w-what are you doing?" Kilik asked as he was stopping himself from laughing.
"Hold the damn keg, man!" shouted Hwoarang.
"I'm trying to but Jin is tickling me." said Kilik between snickering.
"I'm not doing anything that Xianghua would like." Jin chimed.
"What did you say?" Kilik asked as he dropped the keg, landing on Hwoarang's toes.
"Kilik, you son of a bitch!" Hwoarang shouted.
Kilik turned around and saw Hwoarang holding his toes as he was on the ground.
"Dude, I'm sorry." said Kilik.
"Damn you, Kilik." growled Hwoarang.
"What a way to drop the keg." said Yun-Seong.
After the first day of the retreat, the employees head back to their rooms. Xianghua is massaging Kilik's shoulders and neck. As Kilik is groaning, Cassandra leans against their room door, hearing the moaning and groaning.
Cassandra being interviewed
"I knew it! I knew it! I knew those two were eventually going to do it. Didn't I tell you?"
Hwoarang and Yun-Seong are back in their room, still watching the erotic channel when Seong Mi-Na walks in.
"Hey guys, what are you watching?" asked Mi-Na.
"We're just..." Yun-Seong began as the moaning and groaning from the erotic channel grew louder and louder.
"What is that?" Mi-Na inquired.
Mi-Na had a look of shock and disgust on her face. She then looked at both Hwoarang and Yun-Seong.
"Give me the remote." demanded Mi-Na.
"No, this is getting good." said Yun-Seong.
"Give me the damn remote!" demanded Mi-Na.
"Wait until the climax, at least." Hwoarang added.
"And boom goes that dynamite." said an announcer on the erotic channel.
"Oh, you guys are disgusting." said Mi-Na.
"But at least she was faking it." said Hwoarang.
On the second day of the retreat, all the employees looked a little tense. Maxi was eyeing Setsuka and delivered a wink at her, Christie was hung over after convincing Julia to party with her, and Hwoarang and Yun-Seong had stayed up all night watching nothing but badly done erotic movies.
Maxi being interviewed
"I saw the way Setsuka was looking at me. She knows she wants some of my...dandy...oh yeah."
Julia being interviewed
"I am so sleepy, I am never going to party that late with Christie like that."
Yun-Seong and Hwoarang being interviewed
Hwoarang: We'd stayed up all night watching nothing but erotic movies. I can't even tell you what I saw.
Yun-Seong: I can, there was this one scene where a girl is on her knees and she's--
Hwoarang: *muffles Yun-Seong's mouth with his hand*
"Okay everyone, day two of our retreat and I see everyone is tired and sleepy. What happened?" Jin asked.
"We stayed up too late." said Julia and Christie.
"I heard too much moaning and groaning coming from Kilik and Xianghua's room, if you catch my drift." said Cassandra.
"I was giving Kilik a massage, mind your own business." said Xianghua.
"Sure, honey, and I bet you gave him a happy ending." Cassandra responded
"What's that suppose to mean?" Xianghua asked.
"Xianghua, she isn't worth it." Kilik asserted his girlfriend.
"We watched nothing but bad porn." said Yun-Seong.
"Porn? Really?" said Lili.
"Wait, this place has porn?" Paul asked as everyone looked directly at him.
"What?" Paul inquired.
As the day wore on, most of the employees started to get a feel for one another until the trust fall activity.
"Okay, we will now try the trust fall again." Jin announced.
"So will Cassandra and...Xianghua try one more time." Jin added.
Both Cassandra and Xianghua stared at each other, wanting to beat the crap out of each other.
"Okay, Cassandra will be the one that will fall and Xianghua, you must catch her." instructed Jin.
"Okay." said Cassandra.
Cassandra folds her arms across her chest and close her eyes, she starts to fall back, hoping that Xianghua will catch her but instead falls on the ground.
"Whoops, Just Kidding!" smiled Xianghua.
"Why you salacious whore!" growled Cassandra.
Both Xianghua and Cassandra tackled each other and started clawing away at one another until both had to be separated by Kilik and Steve respectively.
"Kilik, I swear I'm going to throw a piece of wood at her." fumed Xianghua.
As the second day came to a close, Kilik and Xianghua are having dinner. The camera pans to Cassandra, spying on them from afar as Steve Fox is talking on his cell phone.
"I feel like we're being watched, Kilik." said Xianghua.
"Not this again." groaned Kilik.
"Guess we'll have to take this back to our room then." Xianghua sighed.
Back in their room, Hwoarang and Yun-Seong continued watching the erotic channel when a knock on the door interrupted them. Hwoarang opens the door and it's Paul Phoenix.
"Paul, what's up?" Hwoarang asked.
"You guys are watching porn?" Paul inquired.
Hwoarang looks back at Yun-Seong and back at Paul.
"Yep." sighed Hwoarang.
"I wanna watch, I wanna watch!" said Paul gleefully.
"Fine." said Hwoarang.
On the third and final day, the employees started to finally get the hang of the bonding despite trying to rip each other's heads off. The final test came when the trust fall activity came about.
"Okay, let's get through this without trying to kill her, X." said Christie.
"I'll try." said Xianghua.
"Alright, you two better not plan on making me fall flat on my behind." said Cassandra.
Xianghua and Christie just looked at each other and shot Cassandra a death glare. Cassandra folds her arms across her chest and close her eyes, she starts to fall back, hoping that Xianghua and Christie will catch her. Both women manage to catch Cassandra as the rest of the employees applaud.
"Yes! I have finally reached you all!" decalred Jin.
"Everyone give yourselves a round of applause." Jin added as the employees applauded.
Jin being interviewed
"Have I finally reached my employees? I believe I have achieved my goal and I can confidently tell you that my mission has been accomplished."
"Hey, Boss." Kilik began.
"Xianghua and I have some...vacation time coming our way and we were hoping that we take our two weeks off together for a vacation." Kilik suggested.
"Okay, after you participate in a roast in my honor." said Jin.
"Deal." said Kilik.
Steve is really calm for a guy who just had his mother called a hooker."What he needs is a hooker." said Maxi.
"Doesn't he already have one with that blonde hair assistant of his?" Kilik asked.
The camera pans as Steve Fox enters the break room.
"You guys aren't still talking about that damn Dungeons and Dragons game, are ya?" Steve asked.