Which is fine, that’s your choice and it’s not even our place or (my, at least) intention you try and get you to change your position, it was mostly a “for the sake of argument, there could be an exception to the rule”, as a possible explanation to how anyone might possibly perceive it as okay. For the matters at hand, I stand in agreement with your assessment. This one was not a case, nor any of these cases so far at EVO, for that matter, where an exception could be drawn for justification. Tres (and I supported the idea based on myself and my own experiences) was hinting at this premise, and I took it a bit further, but it was outside the realm of the specific cases that actually happened, none of which apply this reasoning.
I know, but my concern is that such arguments tend to be the root of the defenses abusers themselves will always try to give for their actions and that any scenarios where the minor comes away unscathed are monumentally outweighed by an avalanche of abuse leading to life-log consequences for untold numbers of innocents. My perspective on the matter is substantially coloured by my own professional outlook, in that I am probably more often reminded of both the (generally underappreciated) prevalence of such abuse and the degree of the roll it extracts from the victims. I don't say that to bootstrap my argument: indeed, to a degree I am admitting to a certain kind of bias of my own in how I evaluate individual instances of inappropriate conduct--albeit one that I would argue is based in a pretty informed and nuanced understanding of the matter. In short: I've seen how bad it can get, I am more than occasional forced to confront the despiriting figures of how prevalent it remains, and I'm familiar (from both individual stories and the relevant research) with how completely it can alter the course of a young person's life, stealing their joy and potential.
It all inclines me to a rather skeptical view that we should treat the notion of exceptions as a meaningful part of the narrative on how to respond to accusations in general: aside from the fact that it is not the most accurate lens to apply as an empirical matter, I fear it feeds into a culture where there is some degree of equivocation that potential offenders latch on to. I'd just as soon the societal proscription was universal, and any relationships that were meant to be can wait until everyone is an adult. I can appreciate that the concept of a light switch being flipped at 18 that magically makes some one capable of appreciating the consequences of their actions and being now capable of handling the implications of a relationship feels unrealistic and arbitrary, but at the end of the day we are talking about a numbers game, and everyone needs to respect that system for it to work and minimize the potential for abuse. It just doesn't work to carve out exceptions, even as a theoretical matter: 9 out of 10 abusers are going to be convinced their "love" is the exception: we are talking about a deeply delusional, self-enabling, and pathological class of people here, after-all. Anyway, even the notion of a hypothetical non-damaging relationship in this area melts away by the time you move back to 15 years.
Also, remember that the problems with these relationships arise not just out of the issues innate to the lack of competency but also the fact that any adult engaged in such a relationship must keep it hidden at all costs: this creates a second level of psychological consequences for the minor and dangerous lines of thought for the adult if they have to scramble to control the situation. No good all around. Sometimes people truly cannot control their pathologies, but the argument that they are operating out of love if they peruse such a relationship falls apart pretty immediately under it's own weight: if they truly loved the minor, they would never subject them to a situation like that.
Just a small caveat to this part from me. The fact that he says that does not necessarily means he feels that way or that he admits that his intentions were I'll intended when it happened. In this situation, considering how much backlash could happen he could just as likely just prefer to go this route just so it can end faster. Especially considering that any kind of attempt of defending or merely explaining his actions or way of thinking/feeling back in the day could lead to even more backlash. It doesn't need to be that way of course but that is a probability I am personally considering.
True enough, but then if he is hemmed in there, it is by his own doing and once the basic facts of the scenario have been admitted to, we can't really afford to be doubting the potential victim's account of things for the sake of the perpetrator. At that point we have to go with taking those accusations at face value. Maybe a minor does not always have the clearest of perspectives on such matters, but then their ability to be confused, more easily harmed and to generally lack adult capacity to deal with the situation is exactly the reason the adult was meant to be staying away from them in the first place, so they can hardly cry foul at the juncture that those features of the pre-adult mind come back to bite them.
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